Check out this new GOP website, which allows users to submit ideas for the Future of America. The website doesn’t have any filters, so people have been having some, um, fun with it. A few of the suggested ideas for how to improve the United States:
Let’s give Texas back to Mexico. I mean, it was kinda mean for us to steal it from them, just because a bunch of white people moved there illegally and wanted to keep their slaves (slavery was illegal in Mexico).
I remember in college that I used a kit to invent a potato-powered clock. Can we do that like… bigger and to power more stuff?
For far too long has America been plagued by illegal immigrants. They come here without any regard for the native cultures or language. They take whatever they want, whether it’s our jobs, or women, or are lives, and they have been a threat to our humble society, but no more I say. I say we kick these foreigners back to the countries they came from. So go back to England, go back to France, go back to Germany, go back to whatever European hellhole your ancestors came from. This is our country. This is our land. We were here first, and we are sick of sharing it with all you genocidal maniacs.
Give corporations the vote. Since we have established the corporations have free speech rights, why deny them the other benefits of personhood? Perhaps they should have more than one vote, perhaps proportional the number of dollars they contribute to political parties.
Bring back the plutonium standard!!!!
We should make all currency illegal except the AMERICAN dollar!
I fear that going to a gold standard isn’t enough. Suppose some future liberal scientist decides to synthesize gold just to undermine the standard again? We should ban that pre-emptively.
I live 123 main st and I’m 16 years old.
I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future
My neighbor made a Republican website that can’t withstand more than two people posting at once, despite having “NASA technology”. Please arrest him, or at the very least, ridicule his stupid website.
We should have a nation-wide English only law. We should also only allow American food and American beer, except for special holidays.
if all schools don’t teach creationism, we should stop having schools. I mean, what’s the point?
I was going to say that we should stop daylight savings time because every time it comes around I’m confused for MONTHS. But what we should REALLY do is just standardize all American Time, so there aren’t different zones. That way, I could call my brother in Louisiana in the early evening and not worry about him already being asleep because its two hours later there.
We need a new constitutional amendment dictating that “if both individuals were drunk, then it is not considered gay.”
Creating a new line of hot dog marketing where they create packages of buns equal in amount to the number of hot dogs in the package. This imbalance in American Culture has been destroying us at the heart for decades now.
Deport Justin Bieber. He’s teaching young women to date before marriage, and I’m squeamish about that.
It is getting harder and harder to tell what race people belong to. All these light-skinned Mexicans and blacks and Muslims give me a headache, also nowadays some people can be black AND white or mexican AND white. they are flip-floppers! make them pick a race and stick to it. also i believe in racial equality AND YET mexicans are having way more babies than white people. I think Mexicans should pay a fine every time they have more than one baby per family, and white women should get a bonus every time they have more than one baby per family. (BUT NOT IF THE WOMAN IS DIVORCED. THEN SHE SHOULD PAY HER EX-HUSBAND A BONUS FOR EACH TIME HE GRACIOUSLY KNOCKED HER UP.)
My neighbor across the street is upwards of 40 years old and wears skinny jeans. They are way too tight and incredibly offensive. He should be fined and possibly jailed for this crime against his fellow citizens. I’m sure we can prove his offense unconstitutional somehow. My eyes want their freedom back.
Legalize Gay Marijuanna
America is a country of biblical values. I say if you marry a woman and she is barren, you should have the right to a) test her, to make sure she isn’t a witch and hasn’t cursed your sausage, and b) marry another women. It should not count as bigamy because you will only be able to get one of your wives pregnant.
Every terrorist should have to carry a magnet so they show up in airport screenings. This should be THE LAW
NEW LAWS SHOULD BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS TO EMPHASIZE THEIR IMPORTANCE TO THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE AND ANNOUNCE THAT IMPORTANCE IN ALL CAP REPETITION AND RUN-ON SENTENCES TO THE REST OF THE WORLD IN POORLY WORDED ENGLISH
Rename Washington DC to Reaganville.
Protect the sanctity of life by ‘taking care of’ everybody who supports abortion.
Papers please for anyone online who uses an Umlaut on AND ENGLISH SPEAKING WEBSITE IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRY> This is AMREICA!!!
We should require alternative theories to evoluation be taught in school. I like Norse Mythology and the Hopi story. Their is no more proof to these then to Darwins tale of molucules to man. Also, the Christians have a good theory, and snappy displays at the Creation Museum. I like to ride the dinosour (or Dragon, or Faith Lizard).
Holy God’s creation is perfect, and our representatives should be fighting for our values. Natural law does not inclued athiest isaac newtons “Laws” of thermodynamics. Socalled “Entropy” is a trick invented by the forces of darkness who are currently bringing this country to its knees. We need our leaders to fight for us, or else we will fight our leaders
Republicans caught engaging in embarrassing homoerotic scandals ought to be reclassified as Democrats and be forced to wear leather bottomless chaps in public. Keep our values strong!
i don’t understand why we have to have child labor laws. if every child over the age of 5 went to work (like they did in the OLD TIME TRADITIONAL AMERICA) we wouldn’t need to import stuff from China. MAKE THE CHILDREN PULL THEIR SHARE.
PEDOPHILES ARE AN EVER GROWING TO OUR CHILDREN, SO I WAS THINKING THAT WE SHOULD CAPTURE ALL PEDOPHILES AND PUT THEM IN CAMPS WITH FREE-ROAMING BEARS. PEDO-BEARS IF YOU WILL. IT WOULD SEND A STRONG MESSAGE TO PEOPLE: DON’T BE A PEDOPHILE.
As shown by Timothy McVeigh and the Times Square bomber, fertilizer is dangerous. We should require a background check and a 48 hr waiting period for all purchases of fertilizer.
I hate sand. It’s rough and course and it gets everywhere.
National Security and Job Creation solution in one punch: Use remaining stimulus money and DHS budget and maybe some pentagon money to build a wall around the contiguous U.S. border. The wall should not be a fence, but a Great Wall that rivals China’s, seen from space, armed with heavy fire machine guns and border patrol to check each and every passport, permanent resident card, VISA, State Driver’s licence, Birth Certificate, etc. Contract the construction of this WALL out to great companies like Halliburton or Kellog Root and Brown and the huge contract dollars will eventually trickle down into low wage construction jobs. People will be employed and the U.S.A. will be hunkered down safe and secure. We would even have a great monument to boast about, like China!
If they stop letting the foreiners buy all of our convenience stores and gas stations and let AMERICANS run those businesses again. If you can’t say Marlboro, you can’t own it! Now their trying to take over the Dunkin Donuts! We must protect our American pastries!
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