Saturday Video Pick-Me-Up

I’m feeling lousy, y’all, but watching this video perked me right up! BRONTE SISTER ACTION DOLLS, WHAT?! I’ll work on a transcript after I finish my spring cleaning which, admittedly, won’t be for at least several hours, but if somebody else has one or wants to make one, send it on over.

Short explanation: a commercial for Brontë sisters action figures – they wear mustaches and publish as men, throw books, and transform into Brontësaurus.

Shorter explanation: awesomeness.

Announcer voice (think monster truck rally voice): New from scud, it’s “Super X-treme Mega History Heroes”!

…It’s the Brontë sisters, super-powered English authors from the 19th Century! There’s Charlotte, Emily and Anne!

All forced to fight evil publishers to get their books into print!

Top Hat (Evil) Publisher doll: Girls can’t write books! Ha ha ha!

Announcer: That’s why the Brontës pretend to be men with their “Super Disguise Mustaches!”

Charlotte doll: We’re boys.

Top Hat (Evil) Publisher Doll: Guys, your books have revolutionized the Gothic romance novel. They’re awesome!

Charlotte doll: Well the joke’s on you, narrow-minded cur! We’re women!!

Top Hat (Evil) Publisher doll: What?! No one wants to read books by girls. Get outta here!

Announcer: Oh yeah? The Brontë sisters come with “Boomerang Book-Throwing Action!”

Charlotte doll: Take this, you sexist pig! I wrote Jane Eyre!

Emily doll: I wrote Wuthering Heights and Anne wrote Agnes Grey.

Anne doll: GRRRRRR.

All three: Book on (Book ‘em?) Brontës!

(Explosion sound as “boomerang books” fly at Top Hat [Evil]Publisher doll)

Child, aghast: Look! There’s more of them!

(More top hat dolls at “Literary Clubhouse” with a sign that says “No Girls Allowed”)

New Top Hat Doll: You’ll never get into this club, Brontës!

Three girls: Brontë sisters, power up!

Announcer: Together, the Brontë sisters wrote books about confident, independent women. Now they join forces again to become the all powerful “Brontësaurus!”

Brontësaurus comes with barrier breaking feminist vision.

Top hats: You win. Ahh! Run away! Ahh!

Brontësaurus: GRRRRRRR!

“Brontë sisters” come with everything you see here (subtitle: pudding not included).

Announcer: So remember kids, use your brain and “You’ll Make History”!

From scud.

22 comments for “Saturday Video Pick-Me-Up

  1. Tracey
    May 29, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    That…that’s just kickass right there.

  2. FYouMudFlaps
    May 29, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    Ha wow that’s funny. Good stuff. It’s sad that women did really have to dress as men to do things.

  3. D
    May 29, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Ahhh this is so awesome. It says it is part of a series- can someone find the others?

  4. Ms. Annie C
    May 29, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    I wish there was a way to tattoo a video onto my forehead, because this would be right there above my eyebrows. I lol’d so hard my neighbor asked if I was okay when I went to check my mail *^_^*

  5. Brooklyn
    May 29, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Thank you for posting this! Here’s a transcript:

    Announcer voice (think monster truck rally voice): New from scud, it’s “Super X-treme Mega History Heroes”!

    …It’s the Brontë sisters, super-powered English authors from the 19th Century! There’s Charlotte, Emily and Anne!

    All forced to fight evil publishers to get their books into print!

    Top Hat (Evil) Publisher doll: Girls can’t write books! Ha ha ha!

    Announcer: That’s why the Brontës pretend to be men with their “Super Disguise Mustaches!”

    Charlotte doll: We’re boys.

    Top Hat (Evil) Publisher Doll: Guys, your books have revolutionized the Gothic romance novel. They’re awesome!

    Charlotte doll: Well the joke’s on you, narrow-minded (???)! We’re women!!

    Top Hat (Evil) Publisher doll: What?! No one wants to read books by girls. Get outta here!

    Announcer: Oh yeah? The Brontë sisters come with “Boomerang Book-Throwing Action!”

    Charlotte doll: Take this, you sexist pig! I wrote Jane Eyre!

    Emily doll: I wrote Wuthering Heights and Anne wrote Agnes Grey.

    Anne doll: GRRRRRR.

    All three: Book on (Book ’em?) Brontës!

    (Explosion sound as “boomerang books” fly at Top Hat [Evil]Publisher doll)

    Child, aghast: Look! There’s more of them!

    (More top hat dolls at “Literary Clubhouse” with a sign that says “No Girls Allowed”)

    New Top Hat Doll: You’ll never get into this club, Brontës!

    Three girls: Brontë sisters, power up!

    Announcer: Together, the Brontë sisters wrote books about confident, independent women. Now they join forces again to become the all powerful “Brontësaurus!”

    Brontësaurus comes with barrier breaking feminist vision.

    Top hats: You win. Ahh! Run away! Ahh!

    Brontësaurus: GRRRRRRR!

    “Brontë sisters” come with everything you see here (subtitle: pudding not included).

    Announcer: So remember kids, use your brain and “You’ll Make History”!

    From scud.

  6. D
    May 29, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    Narrator: It’s super extreme mega history heroes. It’s the Bronte sisters, super-powered English authors from the 19th century. There’s Charlotte, Emily, and Anne — all forced to fight evil publishers to get their books into print.

    Evil Publisher: Girls can’t write books. Ha ha ha.

    Narrator: That’s why the Brontes pretend to be men with their super-disguise mustaches.

    Charlotte: We’re boys.

    Evil Publisher: Guys, your books have revolutionized the gothic romance novel. They’re awesome.

    Charlotte: Well the joke’s on you, narrow-minded cur.

    All 3 sisters: We are women.

    Evil Publisher: What? No one wants to read books by girls. Get out of here.

    Narrator: Oh yeah? The Bronte sisters come with boomerang book throwing action.

    Charlotte: Take this, you sexist pig. I wrote Jane Eyre.

    Emily: I wrote Wuthering Heights.

    Anne: And I wrote Agnes Grey. Grrrr!

    All 3 sisters: Book him, Brontes!

    Girl playing with action figures: Look! There’s more of them.

    Other Evil Publisher: You’ll never get into this club, Brontes.

    Both girls: Bronte sisters power up!

    Narrator: Together the Brontes wrote books about confident, independent women. Now they join forces again to form the all-powerful Brontesaurus. Brontesaurus comes with barrier-breaking feminist vision!

    Other Evil Publishers: You win. Run away, help!

    Narrator: Bronte sisters come with everything you see here. So remember, kids, use your brain, and you’ll make history.

    Transcript from this Feministing post: http://community.feministing.com/2010/05/bronte-sisters-power-dolls.html

  7. May 29, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    “I’ll work on a transcript after I finish my spring cleaning which, admittedly, won’t be for at least several hours…”

    Please stop doing this.

    I know it’s hard to do transcription work. I know that it’s something that’s time-consuming. I understand that, because I do transcription work, and when I put stuff up, I transcribe it. But you can also Google and see if this has been transcribed – which this “ad” has been in at least four different places that I know of (Feministing, humourlessfeminists.tumblr.com, the Hathor Legacy, and Teaspoon of Sugar).

    When you put up a video without a transcript, you’re saying “accessibility is of a lesser concern to me”. And you’re drawing attention to that by indicating that you know you should be providing a transcript, but you’re doing something else, and putting up this “ad” couldn’t have waited until you were free to do a transcript.

    As I recall, Feministe has more than once committed to being an accessible site. And yet, quite regularly, it is not. And this example is especially egregious to me both because the transcript is readily available, and because usually you, frau sally, are excellent at providing descriptions on your images.

    I know it’s hard. But so, quite frankly, is feminism, and yet here we are.

  8. haley
    May 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    @Anna

    Trolling?

    • May 30, 2010 at 7:49 am

      Trolling by calling valid commenters trolls? That’s a new one, Haley, congratulations!

      Raising accessibility issues is not “trolling.” And saying that it is is not even remotely acceptable here. And I’m really fucking sick and tired of people acting as though it is. That attitude is disgusting, it repulses me, and if you want to ask me which set of commenters I’d rather have around here — those who raise accessibility issues, or those who get annoyed at the first group for doing so — I don’t even have to think about the answer. I choose the group that actually gives a shit about social justice and doesn’t get their kicks by mocking others who do.

  9. evil_fizz
    May 29, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    haley, Anna’s not trolling. She’s raising a valid point.

  10. Sailorman
    May 30, 2010 at 9:34 am

    I would SO buy those for my kids, if they existed in real life.

    But what’s with the pudding? Is it just funny because it’s random, or is there some Bronte-pudding connection somewhere that I don’t know about?
    ——-
    Anna: It’s one thing to say “FSB should strive to post transcripts as soon as you can,” and different still to suggest, as you did, that FSB should either post a transcript or not post at all. Especially since (by the time you commented) the transcript was already posted.

    There’s only so much obligation you can put on someone else’s blog. If someone is reading the post, then presumably they’re just as able to find an existing transcript as is FSB. Depending on their Net knowledge and skill, they may be far better at finding the transcript. And that seems to be what happened, since you found it rapidly, and since it was posted shortly after the original post.

    But use a hypothetical for a moment: Imagine that FSB has time to post a link, but not time to post a transcript. In fact, let’s say that it is one of the 99% of videos for which there IS no transcript, so FSB would have to sit there and type it all. Are you saying that she should not post at all?

  11. Em
    May 30, 2010 at 10:22 am

    “It’s one thing to say “FSB should strive to post transcripts as soon as you can,” and different still to suggest, as you did, that FSB should either post a transcript or not post at all. Especially since (by the time you commented) the transcript was already posted.

    There’s only so much obligation you can put on someone else’s blog. If someone is reading the post, then presumably they’re just as able to find an existing transcript as is FSB.”

    @Sailorman: So, let’s be clear here. You believe that it is the responsibility of the reader to make their own accommodations?
    I’m sure you’re one of those people, then, who believe it is the job of a wheelchair user to find their own way into a building that is not accessible; that it’s their responsibility to do so, and by requesting otherwise they’re making themselves an inconvenience.
    …at least, that’s what I can infer about you from your response. If that’s not the case, you better look long and hard at what you just said. You treat accessibility as though it’s not supposed to be a given; that-by providing transcripts-you’re doing people a FAVOR instead of providing a necessary service, and that’s just wrong.

    Because FSB seems to be consistent in making her posts user-friendly, perhaps it was just a slip, but that does not make it OK. I cannot speak for Anna, but I do believe that FSB should not have posted this video without the transcript. It is insensitive not to provide one, and frankly I’m very disappointed at the lack of concern shown by other readers.

  12. Katie
    May 30, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    I’m currently up to my elbows writing a thesis about the development of Feminism in Young Adult Lit, so imagine my sheer jot when my advisor sent me this link.

    And my newbie-Feminist fiance feels that the Brontesaurus could be a powerful tool in educating young boys…

  13. LC
    May 30, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    I kind of love that I posted this on my LJ a while ago, my friend from the UK just came across my post, commented how much she likes it, and it suddenly showed up here as well.

    It was just like an extra burst of awesome.

  14. Friendly Neighborhood Japanese Fox Spirit
    May 30, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    @Haley, #8:

    “Trolling?”

    As much as I share your dismay, the act in which Anna is engaged is not trolling. Now on the other hand, if I replied to Anna in the manner of, say, “two people before you have already posted transcripts, you dumb fvcking cvnt, what are you blind?”

    That would be trolling.

  15. Ailuridae
    May 31, 2010 at 1:55 am

    @Sailorman: So, let’s be clear here. You believe that it is the responsibility of the reader to make their own accommodations?
    I’m sure you’re one of those people, then, who believe it is the job of a wheelchair user to find their own way into a building that is not accessible; that it’s their responsibility to do so, and by requesting otherwise they’re making themselves an inconvenience.
    …at least, that’s what I can infer about you from your response.

    Really? Reeeeallly?

    I agree that it would certainly have been nice of FSB to have posted the transcript, but comparing pointing out “you know, you could google it just as easily” to believing that buildings should not be wheelchair accessible because people should “find their own way” is just absurd.

    Yes, it makes it more accessible if a transcript is posted. Perhaps it should have been posted at the same time as the video–it certainly would’ve been considerate to the people who wanted to watch it right now rather than the 30 minutes it took for a transcript to go up. But pointing out that, hey, a transcript might be something that already is readily accessible with a quick google search is not the same as saying people who use wheelchairs can basically go fuck themselves if they want to exist in public spaces. I personally find that comparison far more offensive than having to wait 30 minutes for a transcript (that I can totally find myself, thank you).

    Just to be clear, I don’t think Anna was trolling, and I do think it’s legitimate to point out that it may have been better to put the transcript up at the same time as the video. It’s a small thing, but small things add up, and it’s nice to be mindful of them.

    As a person who does suffer from disabilities from a mental health standpoint, and as someone who has been involved very closely with the Deaf community, your comment is ridiculous and infantalizing and conflates pointing out that someone accessibility options with believing that certain people should be removed entirely from spaces in which everyone else can easily exist. It’s so fucking difficult getting people to understand issues of accessibility, and how the world is made for everyone who isn’t you. The two just aren’t even in the same universe.

  16. Jadey
    May 31, 2010 at 6:32 am

    @ 15

    And why the hell did you feel the need to post such an disgusting hypothetical (and here’s hoping that was genuinely hypothetical, and not supremely passive aggressive) in response to someone who has already been responded to quite clearly, including by a mod? Was that important to the thread? Inappropriate comments are hardly improved by a precise taxonomy.

  17. May 31, 2010 at 8:09 am

    Anna, you’re totally right (and, no, she’s not trolling, as Cara already stressed). I saw the video and thought “other people must watch this!” and just wanted to share it with others but then realized that I didn’t have time to post a transcript. It didn’t occur to me to google for one because usually when I do, I can’t find what I’m looking for so I need to re-train myself to google it first. It was lazy of me and I’m sorry for doing it. Definitely a lesson learned.

    Also, for everyone with the back and forth on this – Anna and Em are right, this isn’t about doing a favor, it’s about posting a necessary part of the package. It was about me dropping the ball, not people whining or complaining.

    Lastly, sorry for taking so long to respond. I haven’t even checked email in days and didn’t realize this was happening on the thread.

  18. Nicole
    May 31, 2010 at 9:45 am

    The missing “(??)” line from the transcript is “narrow-minded cur.”

  19. haley
    May 31, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I seriously did question if the comment was meant to troll.

    I’m was not/nor am trolling or trying to annoy anyone. The reason I asked the question “trolling?” was NOT because she raised the valid issues of accessibility, but because of the clearly hostile way she raised said issue towards …Benz. It seemed far more hostile and patronizing than what was necessary to convey the message that the transcript should be put up with the video, especially considering the fact that …Benz acknowledged the importance of putting it up and promised to do so in a timely manner. I wasn’t mocking her, and certainly wouldn’t do so because of someone’s tactic of raising awareness.

    Frau Sally Benz spoke for herself, and I’m glad that everyone agrees on the importance of accessibility. I think we could benefit from talking with each with a bit less hostility and a bit more understanding and respect….everyone.

  20. May 31, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    ‘Feministe has more than once committed to being an accessible site’ Anna’s not just talking about Sally.

    haley, are you familiar with the tone argument? I thought Anna’s tone perfectly even-handed, and even if it hadn’t been, it’s not her obligation to be super nice when she’s pointing out something that will leave disabled people out in the cold. I can’t believe I’m seeing the kind of crap in this comment thread on a site that’s meant to be about social justice.

    So! More comments on the video itself?

  21. June 1, 2010 at 2:14 am

    So! More comments on the video itself?

    I wished they were real toys! (I want Jane Austen, the deluxe package with book-throwing action for SIX novels and a special extra insanity-inducing throw for juvenilia and Lady Susan.)

    George Eliot’s moustache is non-removable but she comes with EVEN MORE books.

    PS I didn’t get around to reading the comment thread because I couldn’t watch the video where I was online and there wasn’t a transcript. But I think part of the early communication problem may have been comments being held for moderation so that people didn’t see them before they responded; that seemed to be happening quite a lot, lately?

Comments are closed.