I’m not gonna diss you on the Internet/ Cos my momma taught me better than that

Howdy y’all! I’m Aminatou and yes, I’m a converted Texan (Hook ’em Horns!)
I’m so excited to be here for the next 2 weeks. If it doesn’t work out, blame Jill but if you end up loving me please remember my love language is edible arrangements and box wine.

I usually “blog” (HA!) over at Instaboner! and if I’d had any kind of common sense or knew anything about SEO my other baby would’ve been book deal HUGE!

Over the next 2 weeks we’ll probably talk about pop culture (Noah Cyrus, you’re on notice!) and you know… feminist things. Speaking of which, I heard (RUMOR ALERT) feminists are really into cats. I’ve recently moved into a house with 3 murderous cats and I need them to stay out of my room. Can anyone recommend a good repellent? Otherwise anti-freeze will be my only recourse. Calm down, that was a joke. I mean… maybe. ::insert feminists can’t take a joke joke::

One more thing, let’s all be nice to each other. Deal? Oh and let’s be friends.

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17 comments for “I’m not gonna diss you on the Internet/ Cos my momma taught me better than that

  1. Ed Hicks
    July 6, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    I heard cats really do not dig citrus smell. Got any lemon peel?

    • July 6, 2010 at 3:03 pm

      Can you install a moat? Cats HATE moats.

  2. July 6, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Seconding the citrus suggestion. A lemon scented candle should do the trick.

  3. Alf
    July 6, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    I love cats.

  4. akeeyu
    July 6, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    You might have to do a little trial and error with the cats. One of my older cats didn’t mind citrus, but thought the merest whiff of alcohol was a sick joke perpetuated on all of catkind by total assholes. A good Margarita a day could serve as an all purpose cat repellant.

    Word of warning: Some cats will respond to any ‘off limits’ area by sneaking in and pissing all over it at the earliest opportunity.

  5. July 6, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    Cats are most attracted to people who don’t like them. If you can convincingly pretend to be in love with them, they will turn up their noses and you’ll be safe. Or, just to fuck with you, they’ll glom on and pretend to be happy you pretend-love them. Sorry, you’re screwed.

  6. July 6, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    I’m going to send my cats to your house to suck your breath out while you sleep. Also, my cats look like this:

    Weird, scary, wrinkly cat with freaky eyes from the horror movie Ghoulies.

  7. TrishB
    July 6, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    My only solution is to keep the door closed. It’s been the only way to keep the roomie’s cat off my pillow and his dog from peeing on the bedposts.

  8. July 7, 2010 at 12:07 am

    LOL @ Lauren’s troll pic!

    Aminatou – a converted Texan eh? I’ve been here for 9 years now and tried to convert but my Australian accent keeps getting in the way :-)

  9. Tori
    July 7, 2010 at 1:24 am

    My dog hates tea tree oil.

    My cats hate my dog.

    I don’t know what the answer is there.

    Probably a citrus scented moat.

  10. July 7, 2010 at 11:58 am

    Not all cats dislike citrus.. which I discovered when I saw my cat licking a lemon peel. A few days later, I caught her drinking from my lemonade glass. I find that things that make loud noises work pretty well. I set up some cookie sheets and random “clangy” things up so that if they’re touched, they fall and make a loud racket. My cats knocked them down once or twice, then got the idea that “computer desk = scary noise” and never get up on it anymore, so I don’t have to bother rigging up the noise trap anymore.

    As a side note, boo to the Horns. :P

  11. tinagrrl
    July 7, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Why do you call the cats murderous? Is it that you just dislike cats? Perhaps you should move. If you had made an “anti-freeze comment” to me, about my cats, I’d ask you to move.

    By the way, that’s not about “lacking a sense of humor”, it’s about reacting to potential danger. Why would I want to be on guard, tense, and worried about MY animals all the time. After all, they were there first. It’s been their house longer than it has been yours.

    If you are not willing to find a mutually agreeable solution — perhaps the cats should think in terms of their own “anti-freeze” solution. As has been said before — you have to sleep sometime.

    • July 7, 2010 at 12:55 pm

      …what was that about feminists and senses of humor?

  12. Dana R
    July 7, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    I wouldn’t have said anything but since it’s been said I have to back it up – there’s a reason a fair amount of cat/dog owners don’t like antifreeze jokes, and that’s because it happens. A lot. And it’s a fucking horrendous way to die.

    Re: keeping them out of your room, that is kinda difficult being that anything you put in the way will be in your way too. But second on the citrus and silver foil. Also double-sided tape (you can buy sheets designed to stop cats scratching furniture) on the floor: they don’t like the feel of it on their paws. Worth a crack!

    Personally if I didn’t want cats in my room (unlikely :D) I’d just keep the door closed and get used to steering them out of the way whilst going in and out. *shrug*

    Unless I’m missing something you chose to co-habitate with cats so while you’re totally entitled to keep them out of your room you do need some tolerance of them being cats, and doing catty things. Which are often annoying. lol

  13. July 10, 2010 at 9:41 am

    Try putting down a doormat of slightly crumpled aluminum fail — my MIL uses that tactic to keep her cats out of the guest bedrooms (one of which doubles as her office, so she can’t just keep the door closed all the time)

  14. July 18, 2010 at 7:28 am

    Um, this has nothing to do with Noah Cyrus.DUH!I want to see Noah Cyrus!

  15. Shey
    July 18, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    I’m a feminist pet-hater! (Hate may be too strong a word. I just don’t want to take care of my own pets. I don’t mind spending time with friends’ pets on occasion. Also, what is it with people who think their pets are human?)

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