There’s been much in the news about celebrity infidelity lately, not only with Tiger Woods and Jesse James (Sandra Bullock’s horrific ex-husband) but it’s been brewing in the Hip-Hop/R&B world. Much of the discussion started around Alicia Keys, who fell in love with (and got pregnant and just married) producer Swizz Beats, who was married at the time to Mashonda, another (less popular) R&B singer. He also has kids with Mashonda, and another woman, so Swizz apparently isn’t so good at keeping it in his pants. Keys’ most recent album, “The Element of Freedom,” (which I admittedly love) speaks of all the varied emotions that came with this messy situation.
Over the last couple of weeks, American Idol winner, Fantasia Burrino, has been in news because of her entanglements with a married man. She tried to commit suicide because of much of the drama that accompanied this love affair (lawsuits, stress from media coverage). There’s also speculation that she staged the whole incident as promotion for her upcoming album and reality show. She does have a new “Behind the Music” premiering on VH1 tomorrow night…hmmm, but I know I’ll be watching. I hope in my heart that it’s not true but the first rule of publicity (one that is up for debate) is that any press is good press. Regardless of the intentions, the major question everyone is asking is why these accomplished and talented women are getting caught up in drama and infidelity when it seems that they would have their pick of available men.
Though I’ve been curious about this phenomenon and tried to psychoanalyze what these talented women are thinking, I don’t really have any answers. I’ve been reading different resources about this and I came across a thought-provoking article on the Root that focused on the disparate media coverage of both situations : Alicia Keys vs. Fantastia Burrino. The premise is that the mainstream media has framed Alicia’s affair more favorably (and romantically) than Fantasia’s, even though it was same situation, because of warped standards of beauty and stereotypes, especially around skin color and class. Although you will hear consensus within the Hip-Hop community that Alicia Keys is a homewrecker, the mainstream media reports her marriage, wedding and pregnancy as a fairy-tale. Fantasia, on the other hand, has been scorned for her “inappropriate” relationship and her suicide attempts have been ugly gossip fodder.
Whether or not you are buying that theory, it is an interesting premise. It’s one that makes me think about representation of black women in the media. Sure, we now have Michelle Obama for young black girls to look up to, but what about the other Black women in the media? For many young girls, celebrity is more captivating and relevant than political figures, so what messeages are they absorbing? If anything, they are probably well-versed on gossip and the nuances of Alicia Keys and Fantasia, along with Nicki Minaj and Beyonce. They are all successful musicians in their own right but don’t exactly offer a well-rounded or realistic view of Black women’s experiences.
However, I’m encouraged by Black women who are working to counteract these stereotypes and to help young ladies dissect and examine the media. Aiesha Turman, who I’ve had the pleasure to connect with via Twitter, has started “The Black Girl Project” a non-profit organization dedicated to “nurturing the next generation.” Ms. Turman has an extensive background of working with young girls and through the Black Girl Project she provides training on leadership, decision-making, and skill-building to prepare them for bright futures. She also runs the blog, Superhussy, and often features her brilliant daughter, TinyHussy, who often has innocently brilliant thoughts on pop culture (see her classic review of Erykah Badu’s “Window Seat“).
With so much emphasis on celebrities, and usually their “bad” behaviors, the Black Girl Project is right on time. To directly address this issue of Black women and girls’ portrayal in the media, they are hosting a documentary screening in Brooklyn this Friday. The film will explore the idea of the dualistic images of Black women and girls as either victims or the victimizer. It’s a dichotomy that applies to both Alicia Keys and Fantasia…yet in which category they fall is open to interpretation.
I’m just guessing here, but could it be that Keys is getting a pass because of her talent? She’s always kind of the golden girl of pop (as far as I can tell, anyway…I’m much more into classical), and she also has done some impressive philanthropic work regarding AIDS in Africa. My point is that people tend to think highly of her, and so perhaps they’re giving her the benefit of the doubt.
I think any favorable attention Alicia Keys got is due to the fact that her and Swiss were in a relationship and it didn’t take long for her to get a ring. I don’t know if people were more likely to think that “hey they were really in love” and “he left his wife and married Alicia so maybe he was just really unhappy with his ex and Alicia came along before the divorce” as opposed to Alicia just sleeping with a married man. If a married man actually leaves his wife and marries his mistress, people tend to have less of a negative reaction. I suppose it legitimizes the relationship for some.
Very good point on the victim/victimizer dichotomy.
I agree with the first post, it has nothing to do with color or any of those things, the fact is that Alicia has carried herself very classy and very low Key since being on the scene and she is a media darling, something about her exudes a kind and caring spirit and I think that people were more willing to give her the benefit that she did not break up their marraige, plus he spoke out himself in her defense and said that the marraige was over and they were seperated. That is why it is important for people to live right because you never know when you will need to give people the benefit of the doubt.
So here’s my question… why is anyone upset at either of these women? They’re not the ones who cheated while married, right? Seems to me the label of “inappropriate behavior” ought to fall squarely on the men who were being unfaithful – no one made them cheat. Neither Keys nor Burrino made their paramours cheat. They made that decision on their own.
Related question – is the role of these sorts of “homewrecker” stories to absolve men of responsibility from their immoral choices by transferring that responsibility to someone else? I mean, when was the last time you heard a man described as such?
What media are you talking about…if it is the mass media they haven’t been condemnatory towards Fantasia they just point out that she has been accused of knowing being in a relationship with a married woman and the fact that the wife is considering a lawsuit.
If you are talking about bloggers…well they are pretty much calling her a homewrecker…which they also call alicia keys and they also point out that Swizz beatz is useless.
The difference between the two is that Swizz beatz wife didn’t go on T.V, magazines and call Alicia homewrecker and nor did she say that she was going to sue her for alienation of affection like that of fantasia current lover. I think that makes a big difference between the two. Mashonda may have posted something on twitter a while back but it wasn’t well known and she hasn’t said anything about the two in the media or on any blogs since.
The guy Fantasia is dating is still legally married to his wife and hasn’t legally filed for divorce…..
Besides, by the time the media knew about Alicia key’s relationship with Swiss beatz…Swiss beatz legally separated from Mashonda and did divorce his ex wife before marrying Alicia keys.
“they are all successful musicians in their own right but don’t exactly offer a well-rounded or realistic view of Black women’s experiences. ”
I don’t get this two…why should these two woman be expected to be a symbol of all black women’s relationship…
The media isn’t framing these women as a symbol of how black women’s relationship is dysfynctional ( let’s be frank there are some black women who have been in this situation)…it more goes along with the idea that WOMEN BEWARE THERE ARE HOMEWRECKERS OUT TO GET YOUR HUSBAND ( LETS FOCUS ON THE WOMEN ASPECT AND IGNORE THE FACT THAT THE HUSBAND BROKE THE VOWS) I mean look at how the treat Leann Rhimes, Angelina Jolie and Mel Gibson’s ex- girlfriend… they were vilified in the media for stealing someone’s husband…seen as vixens..dangerous…evil.
I am surprised that Alicia actually got a cover of a tabloid considering she is black and you rarely see black people in the tabloids or that non-black blogger sites.
The difference is that one of them has been shamed and accused of the egregious act of HOME-WRECKING in public by someone’s spouse, the other has had everything sweeped under the rug by keeping it on the down-low and sanctifying it with marriage.
Thank you, because seriously.
Also, for all those who are pushing this media darling thing – I’m not disagreeing with you, but I’m asking you to think about why Keys is a media darling and Fantasia is not. Alicia has been raised to be a member of elite New York society (she went to fucking Columbia, for instance). Fantasia dropped out of high school after being raped, had a baby at 16, and so on. Alicia is a media darling because her life hasn’t been a fraction as trying as Fantasia’s.
When you say Alicia is classy as a juxtaposition to Fantasia, it’s disappointing. We have no way of knowing who Alicia would be if she faced Fantasia’s hardships.
Hi Jay, I have a slightly OT question (I seriously know little about Alicia Keys or Fantasia, or their relationships – but I would say that, in general, I agree with Jeff and PrettyAmiable.)
Anyway, I love the idea of The Black Girl project, but it seems more (online, at least) geared toward adults and supporters at the moment, and offline girl outreach. So, I was wondering if you, or anyone else, know of a similar, but more interactive site, that caters to Black teen girls? I suppose something similar to gurl.com or something, with articles related to being a Black girl, and maybe forums or something where they can talk about issues that affect them.
I have a teen granddaughter (who spends most of her online time on MySpace and is pretty uninterested in any of the teen type sites I send her to because they are primarily geared to white teen girls) and I (sort of) look from time to time for something geared toward Black or nonwhite girls and have not been able to come up with anything.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Whoops! Jaz, I mean (sorry for getting your name wrong.)
I’m sorry but Alicia Key was from a lower middle class family and she went to Columbia on a scholarship…please don’t diminish her intellectual abilities to prove a point or assume that everything was handed to her in life b/c it wasn’t.
What is wrong with promoting a black woman who went to an IVY league ( she dropped out the first year I think…she doesn’t even have a college degree) and is a classical trained pianist, excellent singer, and a talented song-writer.
You act like she got all these things handed to her….NO she worked hard for it and earned it.
This isn’t about who had it worse growing up…and b/c both of them weren’t rich ( Alicia keys grew up in Hell’s Kitchen), both of them come from broken homes, and both of them were raised by a single mother( who isn’t a member of the elite…she’s a freaking waitress).
Just b/c Alicia Key’s was fortunate enough not to have been raped ( maybe she has but decided to not be vocal about any incidents) doesn’t mean that she hasn’t had a hard life.
Your post was gross and just horrible.
What are you trying to prove.
We are all blind if we do not acknowledge that skin color did not mitigate the media’s reaction to Alicia as opposed to Fantasia.
How can anyone say that Alcia handled it with more class than Fantasia? Neither one of them gave a verbal confirmation of said affair.
As far the the “inappropriate behavior” the blame should be placed on the husband (especially as far as the wife is concerned); however, that does NOT lessen Alicia’s or Fantasia’s accountability. Just because they were not married does that make them any less of an aldulterer. True, they are human and prone to faults and fallacies but what they did is morally reprehensible. Adultery should be celebrated. I do not care how classy the guilty party.
PrettyAmiable, what? Keys was raised by a single mom in 1980′s era Hell’s Kitchen. That she worked her way to Columbia, I think, is quite different than being “raised to be a member of elite society.” Sure, Keys didn’t have to deal with a very public high school rape, to the best of my knowledge, but I don’t think you can assume her life was without hardships. Barrino had, by birth, closer ties to celebrity, with a cousin who was in the group Jodeci.
More than 150 women raped in Congolese Village, the cnn wire store below:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/08/24/drc.rebels.rape/index.html
Jeff-you raise a great point. The onus has totally been on the women. In terms of Alicia, it seems like his behavior and consistent issues of infidelity have just been accepted as his M.O. because he has cheated on previous wives/girlfriends, etc. That’s just how he does :/ It’s a reflection of how easy it is to blame women…we don’t even think there’s anything wrong that. Our gender stereotypes accept men as cheaters and women as homewreckers.
Pretty Amiable and Samantha b.–I’m glad you mentioned the class and status issue which was raised in the Root article. I certainly think class is a major factor. While Alicia Keys isn’t from an “elite” rich family (she was raised by a single Mom in Hell’s Kitchen before it was the trendy expensive place it is now), her upbringing and trajectory has been different from Fantasia (lower-income upbringing, she is a single mom, educational issues, etc.). But I think the media latches on to the stories they want to create and what they want us to believe. I also think the PR machine shapes how we view both women, sometimes capitalizing on what they think is going to captivate the public and thus drive album sales/create fans.
I agree with both Jeff and Pretty Amiable. In both relationships, it is the men who were unfaithful to their wives, and who are mainly responsible – no one can make you cheat. Of course it is wrong to have a relationship with a married man, but we don’t know the intricacies of how either of these women fell into the arms of these men. The bottom line is that Fantasia is being judged more harshly for the same exact behavior. And skin color, class and level of success are the reasons why.
And as Jaz stated, our society is always ready to accept a man’s infidelity as natural and vilify the other woman. It is a shame that in our society women’s sexual urges are not deemed as important as men’s; it seems that women are so often thought to use their sexuality in a devious way. By no means am I saying that it is okay to engage in affairs with married individuals, I just think the way male vs. female sexuality is a factor in this discussion.
Jeff so are you saying that there is a problem if someone is lucky enough to have a good upbringing and they should be punished for that? Alicia went to Columbia because she got a scholarship, she graduated at the age of 16 , because she was pretty much a genious, her mom was a single working mom, and she grew up in a rough neighborhood in hells kitchen, she had two choices stay in or get out. Fantasia grew up in a strong Christian family, her Grandma a pastor, working single mom dad in and out. Fantasia had two choices, go to school and learn and get out or not. We all saw her story, the school system failed her but she also made some very bad decisions. Its all about choices. If you recall when Alicia first came out she was a bit rough around the edges, but she was still very low key and kept her personal business personal, no partying, drinking, getting arrested none of that. When you saw her she was working on behalf of a charity or foundation or performing. Fantasia situation blew up because the people chose her. America chose her and they have had a vested interest ever since. They saw this as a second chance, this is why she was put on blast. The wife filing using her name, and the attempted suicide. That is news they had to cover it. This is not about anything other than news.
Here is a simple thought. One lady adressed the rumors, one absolutely did not. One lady was voted to stardom by millions of Americans black and white, the other was not. One lady was naed in the divorce proceedings, which could be done in any state, which is seperate from a possible suit. One lady had a very bad PR team and the other did not. One lady had very well documented information that the man was seperated before she came into the picture and the other did not, and one lady broke under the pressure and admittedly tried to end it all but the other did not, and might I add TMZ does not discriminate they go after everyone, and even with all the rumors about the first lady, they never touched it. Why because it was so well documented and so well known in the industry that this couple had been seperated for years and it had been confirmed by their publicist. There are vast differences between these two situations, at the end of the day even though one person has a different complexion than the other, if they were just regular citizens and something went down they would both be considere black and treated as such. Profiled and everything else.
Except that Alicia Keys is constructed as black, not white. She may be light skinned, but she doesn’t pass for white. Racially, she is mixed but socially, we have a one drop rule (not that I agree with it). So I don’t think skin color plays as much of a role as some of you think.
It’s worth noting that mixed/multiracial who are partially black are almost always constructed as such.
Nanette: I’m going to ask around for you about some resources for your daughter. Are you familiar with Sex, etc.? (http://www.sexetc.org/) That may be a good place to start because they have teens answering questions for other teens and tons of good resources. They are official (affiliated with Rutgers University). I’ve been some of the peer educators who work there and the coordinators of the site and they are doing fantastic work for young people. I’ll see if I can dig up anything else but I’d love to know how that pans out.
Miss S–the idea of skin color is operating under the assumption that Alicia is a Black woman (biracial or otherwise). I’m biracial as well but consider myself to be a Black woman or woman of color. The premise is that we (society) have hangups about color when it comes to beauty standards. It’s in our personal preferences and in the media. I’m not saying there aren’t other differences in the situation besides skin color but there are differences in the experiences and realities of Alicia and Fantasia, and that the media and people are more apt to side with one over the other. And Mary’s reference to the difference in their publicists is real!
I recommend watching Fantasia’s Behind the Music, that woman is a survivor.
This has nothing to do with skin tones. I don’t know why that would even be suggested. Right, Ak was a little rough around the edges when she first started out but nothing like what you see of some young celebrities now. She has kept her public life clean. Her work with Keep A Child Alive is very inspiring and she seems to be a genuinely good person. What may or may not have happened in her personal life is not my concern. She doesn’t owe me any explanations or anyone else. Neither women do. We all live and learn. My main problem with Fantasia is knowing she has a small child who she didn’t stop to think about when she supposedly attempted suicide. Also her so called spiritual upbringing didn’t seem to help her out any either. ???? Just saying the child should have been her first thought and main reason for sticking around. Forget the man and whatever problems were there. I have much respect for Ak. Seems like she is handling this situation and every other rumor situation she has had very well.
I didn’t say Alicia Keys was born to a rich family and had everything handed to her. I didn’t say she hasn’t deserved her success. I’m saying that she was always pointed in the direction of success (which, shocker, you can be told by your parents that you deserve all the best even when they can’t hand it to you right that second). Fantasia was not. This has translated to people deeming Alicia Keys classy and Fantasia as something else.
Furthermore, I made no judgment of Alicia Keys at all – the point is that Fantasia should have been cut a fucking break because her life has been HARD. But, you know, reading comprehension isn’t for everyone.
And no, actually. My comment was EXACTLY about who had it worse growing up, and how that translates to who gets to be a media darling and who doesn’t. So fuck off.
finally la blog with a good debate, with disagreements, not childish nonsense. I have a few points 1)why is adultery being treated like the ultimate sin. blacks celebrate T.I.(who I like) & Weezy who are criminals & serial baby makers themselves. I think the words “morally apprehensible” were used. So are their crimes & serial babymaking. Also, what about all the married black athletes that cheat as sport, no one is having a fit over them. And where is Gabby & the married Dwayne Wade in this. Gabby completed throws out the skin color debate cause she is on the darker side w/ little mainstream media attention 2)I want to ask black america, what ‘punishment’ do you want these ladies to face? Should Alicia lose her entire career b/c she fell in love w/ someone before the papers were filed? All these blogs, morning radio, just talk talk talk about this, but as I stated earlier, if we are willing to forgive T.I. Weezy, Chris bRown, Mick Vick etc. for breaking laws, why can’t we as a community realize that these women weren’t meant to be perfect because they are talented. By all this talk, you would think black culture was full of nuns & monks, no fornification, out of wedlock babies, cheating by ‘regular’ folk’, etc. only then, should we sit in so much indignant judgement of either of these woman. You might find their actions disappointing but is it really that earth shattering?
I feel that a man cannot be stolen. He leaves because he wants to. I believe that because these females are famous that their stories are magnified. Things like this happens all the time everyday in the real world. Blame the man.