A reader writes in:
Four years ago I was raped by my ex-boyfriend in college and my life has been going sharply downhill ever since and I don’t know how to stop it.A year and a half ago, I was kicked out of school (raped, reported, they ignored it, said i would be better of elsewhere) with no degree and a crushing amount of student loans. I can’t afford to go back to school until I get a job (rejected for any loans), but I can’t get hired. Things were looking up earlier this year until (a different) ex beat me up and kicked me out of the apartment and I feel like I am even further back than square one. I am now living in a really unhealthy environment with absolutely zero money, no friends, no support system. I went to counseling for a few months after the ‘big’ assault and such, but it didn’t help at all. Now I can’t even afford to go back because I have no money to leave the house. My family is also having financial troubles and the clock is quickly ticking on me bringing in an extra income before everyone is homeless.
What can I do? Is there any feminist job placement type of resources? I am in the New York City area – but not IN the city. in the suburbs where a train round trip of 15 dollars or some gas to drive somewhere close is something I just cant afford. I’ve applied to retail, food service, office jobs, temp agencies…all of them with absolutely no results. I was really into the feminist community earlier this year, but now I feel really jaded now that when I’ve been needing help the most I can’t find anything to assist me. I feel like I’ve been trying so hard to do everything right and I still end up stuck. I got a call from the student loan people and saying my account will default in a few days (this was last month) because they don’t offer anything beyond the 6-month deferment regardless of economy situation.
Am I just shit out of luck? It seems to be the only option. I am told “I would help you if I could” but I only hear willingness to help from people who CAN’T help me. After the expulsion I threw myself into writing, activism, volunteering, and even did a paid internship. Now I have run out of steam. I really have no resources or access to anything that can help and I’m starting to think – how can I believe in and fight for justice for all if I can’t even see it happening in my life?
thanks any help would be appreciated.
Help? Resources? Suggestions?
- Feministe Feedback: Feminism 101 Resources by Jill May 21, 2010
- Feministe Feedback: Sexual Assault Resources on Campus by Jill January 4, 2011
- Feministe Feedback: Talking to Students About Women in Popular Culture by Jill August 31, 2010
- Feministe Feedback: Why Is It Wrong to Want to Date a Virgin? by Jill March 17, 2010
- Feministe Feedback: Dealing with racist relatives during the holidays by Jill December 14, 2010