FNTT Season 7: the But, Wait, Have You Thought About The Men? round

cartoon of a man saying to a woman, "Look, kitten, if I say I'm a feminist then by God I am one!"

Background on Feministe’s Next Top Troll is here. Today’s trolls are activists for the must-maligned, widely disenfranchised, entirely discriminated-against Western male. Vote below the fold.


Why American men should boycott American women
I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.
This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

2. AlexNY:

… mansplaining …
I guess this is code for any opinion other than yours.
British Airwayes, Quantas, and Aire New Zealand all have an explicit policy prohibiting any adult male from sitting next to an unaccompanied child, even when the child’s parents are elsewhere on the aircraft. If no way can be found to re-arrange passengers to accomodate this openly anti-male rule, the man is ejected from the aircraft. This despite the fact that there has never been a case of child abuse on an aircraft.
How is this example, one of thousands, not a case of institutional sexism experienced by men? The presumption of male guilt is something that men face every day.

3. Wow!:

Hey Chuck, maybe you should try apologizing for being male before being onto part 2 of your point sometime? Might get a little better reaction.

4. Randall Shake:

Let me get this straight. Feminists are insisting that American Men who reject Feminized Women should have no legal right to associate, or love non Feminized Women? This is Feminists who embrace Fascism. I love it. The Man hating fraud that is feminism is exposed as is the fraud of Sex Trafficking. As Third Wave Feminists who are “Sex Workers” complain that they are legit Feminists. The parody that Feminism is and has become is a great source of comedy. This FemLogic was hurled at Michael Noer who wrote the article “Don’t Marry A Career Woman”.

It is perfectly okay in fact Female Empowerment for over forty Women to enjoy Sex Vacations not men. Got it, right. More Feminist hypocrisy. Get over it.

5. Supes:

There will always those claiming victimhood and bashing the opposite gender as the source of their woes. Irrational, I think.

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70 comments for “FNTT Season 7: the But, Wait, Have You Thought About The Men? round

  1. January 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Randall Shake, because I still have no idea what the hell he is talking about, but his capitalization tells me it’s important.

  2. Ed
    January 17, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    I’m going with Randall because his long meandering paragraph reminds me of taking a very long piss while extremely drunk and trying (and failing) to avoid my shoes.

  3. tinfoil hattie
    January 17, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Alex, because the presumption of male guilt is something that men, who commit 99% of all violence, face every day.

    (Yes, I made up the 99%. Because I like to make shit up, too!)

  4. phira
    January 17, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    I picked Randall, for his amazingly ridiculous rant involving Feminized women and FemLogic. But I almost picked Alex, for his, “This made-up rule that discriminates against men PROVES that you’re all wrong” bit.

  5. January 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Randallshaker is pretty bad, but I still go with Boycott American women. There is no problem with having a preference for non-Americans, but when it goes to an extreme of suggesting people boycotting them, that’s just too far.

  6. Dorian
    January 17, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    I was tempted by both Alex and Randall, but in the end I had to give it to BAW. I admire both his dedication and his unintentionally appropriate acronym.

  7. January 17, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Haha, I’m going to have to vote for “Boycott American Women”–the dude’s left some nasty comments on GAB as well, and he deserves credit. After all, does he know that America is a continent? Hehe.

  8. January 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Randall Shaker, for his curious devotion to complex sentence structure. I suspect he is a lawyer, but his secretary refused to help him with this little venture.

  9. January 17, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    The unifying theme of all of these trolls is that old adage: too clever by half. Their viewpoints would still be offensive, but since they are trying to be cute, in the process, it cheapens whatever it is they are attempting to say.

  10. cifweltr
    January 17, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    I went with AlexNY simply because he failed to properly spell any of the three airlines, and two of them aren’t really that difficult to spell.

  11. evil fizz
    January 17, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Alex gets my vote, in no small part because my office prosecuted a guy for sexually assaulting a child on a commercial air flight last year. So much for never.

  12. RD
    January 17, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Well Randall was confusing (can anyone understand what he was trying to say? Like, at all?), but I went with AlexNY because I laughed so, so fucking hard when I got to the part where they are “ejected from the aircraft.” From the gulfstream, without a parachute?


  13. Miku
    January 17, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I almost went for Randall, but Supes has this Yoda-like charm that is irresistible.

  14. AtheistChick
    January 17, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    While I appreciate Randall’s epic logic fail and general incoherence, I went with Alex NY because he knows me so well– “highly unchaste…don’t want to have children.” Also, the first sentence (“I am an american man, and I have decided to boycott american women”) made me think of some brave little man, nearly in tears, standing in front of an entire crowd of brave men hated by all the highly unchaste feminists, and expressing his feelings to his new-found community in some sort of AA-style spilling of the guts.

  15. randomosity
    January 17, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Boycott American Women was close, so close. It’s not just a troll, it’s a website!

    But Supes ran away with it for a statement that describes hirself more than it describes us.

  16. AtheistChick
    January 17, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Oops, I meant give it to Boycott American Woman, not Alex.

  17. January 17, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    I didn’t think anyone could ever beat that first one until I read Randall Shake.

  18. RD
    January 17, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Does anyone voting for Randall have any idea what he’s even trying to say?

  19. RD
    January 17, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    I’m just curious, cuz I have NO IDEA.

  20. Athenia
    January 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    Went with Randall. Really love this whole “Feminized Women” vs. “Non-Feminized Women” thing.

  21. Bushfire
    January 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    As an ode to BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN, I have edited the problems in this paragraph so that it better represents the North American population.

    I am an American *woman*, and I have decided to boycott American *men*. In a nutshell, American *men* are the most likely to cheat on you, to *abuse* you [until you just have to leave], to get fat, to *spend* half of *the* money in the divorce courts [so that the only people who get it are lawyers], don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to *take care of* children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent *woman* would want to get involved with American *men*?
    American *men* are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American *men* is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    And now I press the vote button. It is so nice when trolls voluntarily decide they want nothing to do with me!

  22. Tony
    January 17, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Wow, this is so unfair. Boycott American Women is not a troll, it is spam! Sending up Alex, Wow!, Randall and shakes against this entire campaign is like sending the Lion, the Tin Man, Dorothy and the Scarecrow against the hordes of Sauron. They don’t really stand a chance. I knew you were horrible feminists, but sadists?

    Granted, Randall Shake brings a Gatling gun to the table, which is unheard of in Middle Earth and might just mow those spammy hordes down like flies, but my brain sort of passed out while reading his comment, which means I can’t really vote for him.

  23. debbie
    January 17, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    I had to go with Randall Shake. I couldn’t make sense of his post, but the random capitalization intrigued me.

  24. Molly
    January 17, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    Randall gets my vote for “Sex Vacations”.

  25. (a different) Maggie
    January 17, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    For me it’s a toss up between BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN for his sincere dedication to sexism (he started a blog!) and Randall Shake, Because he is Serious (capital letters!) and connects Feminism to Fascism (Gasp!) while maintaining only a fleeting relationship with grammar.

  26. January 17, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Dorian: I was tempted by both Alex and Randall, but in the end I had to give it to BAW. I admire both his dedication and his unintentionally appropriate acronym.

    I… never noticed the acronym before, for Ban American Women.  This has made my morning.

  27. JetGirl
    January 17, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    I absolutely love the cartoon running with this.

  28. snobographer
    January 17, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    AlexNY, for bringing to our attention the greatest human rights abuse of our time, discrimination against male child molesters on commercial airlines.

  29. becky
    January 17, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    “Boycott American Women” was pretty good at including an impressive number of the most misogynistic statements he possibly could have in a medium-length comment, but with regards to the “but what about the men?!?!?!?!?!?!” theme, I have to vote for the more concise AlexNY. Poor dude – his story made me cry… This whole institutionalised sexism towards single male passengers sure is horrifying… Next.

  30. January 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    I had to go with AlexNY. The disconnect between “mansplaining” and something something airplanes struck me as too adorably nonsensical NOT to vote for.

  31. January 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Not the most entertaining round, in my opinion … a few were so confusing the humor value kinda fell apart.

    But in the end I voted for Randall for the same reason as Jadey: the random caps and words like “FemiLogic” … as well as the overall tone of “haha you chicks are so cute!”

    The second-place winner was BAW for constantly clarifying that “foreign” women equaled “non-American” women. Not sure the point he was trying to make there.

  32. January 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    Gave my vote to BAW, though Randall could also have received it purely for his dismissal of sex trafficking as a fraud.

  33. January 17, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    I voted for BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN, because I couldn’t stop laughing at the delusional notion that AMERICAN WOMEN would miss this fucker if he BOYCOTTED them.

  34. Arania
    January 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    I went for Randall Shake. I am a feminized woman! Whee!

    Supes came in second with his succinct “both-sides-are-to-blame” whine. It’s quite fashionable these days!

  35. Emeryn
    January 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Randall, because Randomly capitalizing Words apparently grants them SuperPowers.

  36. Tim
    January 17, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    (Quote this comment?)

    Yes, Alex for this — “airwayes” and “aire” made those airlines seem kind of hobbity or elfin, rather appropriate considering their home countries. And it was cute how he misspelled Qantas because he knew the rule for spelling with “q.”

  37. Gembird
    January 17, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    I voted for Randall Shakes, who was being very helpful and Capitalising Important Words.

  38. clownybee
    January 17, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    I voted for BAW, although quite sincerely, I would rather you American girls keep that kind of idiots to yourselves; we’ve got our fair share of d-bags here in The Foreign.

  39. AK
    January 17, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    I’ve got to go with Alex too, the whole airline thing is just so silly it has to be the perfect example of the “what about the MENZ?!” thought process. I mean, women face economic disparity, violence, and sexism every day, but men might be kicked off an airplane if suitable seating arrangements cannot be made! Who is the real victim there, ladies?

    And is that even a real rule?

  40. xtinA
    January 17, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Randall because of “It is perfectly okay in fact Female Empowerment for over forty Women to enjoy Sex Vacations not men”. He’s so confusing I thought at first he meant the offer was limited to a certain number of women.

  41. January 17, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    Alex, for inventing three airlines that don’t exist, and for the lovely image, as others have said, of men being ejected midflight.

  42. January 17, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    I gave my vote to AlexNY, but I’m amused by Randall Shakes slagging off on “Feminized Women”. Usually these guys slag off on Feminized Men, but I guess that men who actually hug their children and shed a tear on occasion are just so bad, so…so…*human*! that he can’t even mention them in polite manly-man society.

  43. Pidgey
    January 17, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    I’m a sucker for the classics, so I had to vote for Supes and his “hey life is difficult for everyone, so stop complaining” argument. I might have given my vote to BOYCOTTAMERICANWOMEN if I wasn’t already familiar with that movement. It takes a special kind of arrogance to think you are spiting women by preventing them from dating a man who does not appreciate free will.

  44. Opheelia
    January 17, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    I nearly went with BAW because I misread his first sentence. I thought it said, “I am an Australian man, and I have decided to boycott American women.” But I voted for Randall because of the capitalization as well as his Confusion as to why we’re All so Worked Up about Sex Vacations. He’s probably the type who dresses up and Wears Cologne when he’s going to the Strip Club because he Knows the Dancers Like It.

  45. Richard
    January 17, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Hi, I haven’t voted, but if I did it’d be for BAW, probably.

    Some context: I am a 23-year-old, white, lower-middle-class male, mostly able-bodied, and a feminist.

    What I want to want to comment on is that it really doesn’t seem to me that Alex’s point about that particular airline policy, if horribly stated, is all that controversial a statement. I would absolutely not say that such policies are “anti-male”, but there is legitimate discrimination going on there. And whether or not men commit the majority, or strong majority, of violent or abusive acts, it remains discriminatory.

    If it were a statistical fact that people of Middle-Eastern origin committed 99% of terrorist plane hijackings, I would still be very uncomfortable having policies specifically restricting that demographic. Having restrictive (in however so minor a way) policies which are men-specific based upon my statistical chance of being a child abuser is not without some similarities, even when who it’s restricting is a privileged group.

    Now, sure, Alex’s broader argument, that this shows that men have it awful, is bullshit. Just because this is one case where there is a real, institutional policy which could legitimately be found to be offensive, doesn’t mean that women have it better: this is obviously not the case. In no way do I agree with that.

    I don’t know. I’m not really intending to stick up for Alex so much as just throw in there that hey, that one particular point wasn’t as awful as is being portrayed. Just because there’s vastly unequal discrimination between various groups, doesn’t mean there’s not still discrimination on all sides.

    If this comes across as comically wrong and stupid-headed, please let me know how. Thank you.

  46. maribelle1963
    January 17, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Easy call: BOYCOTT is trying too hard. Doth protest too much.

    But Randall the Shakeable, with his recreational use of caps and turbocharged hyperbole really brings it home.

  47. k not K
    January 17, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    I went with Randall, because FASCISM!!!

  48. January 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    k not K: I went with Randall, because FASCISM!!!  

    Ditto. Boom.

  49. Sheelzebub
    January 17, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    Boycott American Women. First, I kinda think it’s a fake site. I suspect it’s a spoof blog that’s parodying the Ameriskanks site. But if it’s not, I’d still vote for BAM. Even though he was spamming blogs with this copypasta, it makes me sleep just a little bit better knowing that d00ds like him will steer clear of me. However, my heart goes out to the women they will be inflicting themselves on–who needs that? It’s not as if these women are going to give these d00ds a warm reception.

  50. Djinna
    January 17, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    BAW is, of course, a ringer. Beautiful example of trolling, but since it’s from a professional, I’m disqualifying it from consideration. If you’ve put enough thought into your crap to put together a whole web site behind it, that can’t be included with off-the-cuff trolling from devoted amateurs.

    Supes, without context, can’t really tell that it’s a troll comment, exactly. Could be a reasonable reaction when faced with something like what Alex put forth. If it’s not obvious trolling without the context, I can’t vote for it.

    Alex and Randall are the only ones that I feel are deserving of the honor in this category. And, as completely made up and irrelevant as Alex was, it was just too comprehensible. Randall covered all the major troll bases, and is the clear choice for me.

  51. January 17, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    I went with Randall because I had to read it three times to even get a glimmer of what he was talking about. And also, I Like Capitalization!

  52. Brennan
    January 17, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Randall, for sheer incoherence, you win. A word to the wise: “Sex Trafficking.” “Fascism.” Neither of these words mean what you apparently think they mean. Also, go back to third grade and *insist* that someone teach you how to string a sentence together.

  53. Malcolm
    January 17, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    At least in some regard the airlines rule is real (not sure about the ejecting someone if the arrangement cannot be made):

  54. January 18, 2011 at 5:52 am

    I’m perfectly capable of cooking for myself, and if she doesn’t cook that just means I have better control of the menu. Which means no eggplant. I like the sound of this already.

  55. January 18, 2011 at 8:14 am

    Randall for typing sex trafficking as Sex Trafficking.

  56. January 18, 2011 at 9:13 am

    Randall, for all the reasons given by other commenters, plus I’m pretty sure that “As Third Wave Feminists who are “Sex Workers” complain that they are legit Feminists” was a case of this style of thinking:

    “All big red vehicles are fire engines. Now, why doesn’t this London bus driver put the fire out!?”

    Classic logic FAIL combined with so many classic troll elements make this one very fun.

    (I also thought it sounded like he was claiming that sex traffickers were somehow defrauding him, which seemed… odd, and somewhat scary!)

  57. Picadillo
    January 18, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    I just had to vote for Wow! as their comment provides such inspiration. I now demand every man shamefully apologize for being a man before speaking to me. Universally improves the quality of life.

  58. LC
    January 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Snowdrop Explodes explains why Randall got my vote.

  59. Maggie
    January 19, 2011 at 12:10 am

    Randall, for the bizarre capitalisation :P

  60. Blacky
    January 19, 2011 at 7:01 am

    snobographer: AlexNY, for bringing to our attention the greatest human rights abuse of our time, discrimination against male child molesters on commercial airlines.  

    So, every adult male is a child molester in your book?
    Explains a lot.

  61. January 19, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    AlexNY’s comment may be a bit overblown, and I don’t know the context, but if that is a real policy, it is definitely problematic. The widespread perception that women are better/nicer/safer around children is just the other side of the “all women belong in childcare positions” coin.

  62. January 19, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I thought about giving it to Randall for the sheer confoundedness of his comment, but I had to go with BOYCOTT. I feel that it is good and right to give my support to his cause, for the sake of American women everywhere.

  63. LisafromOz
    January 19, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    My vote to AlexNY for mistaking his own ignorance for knowledge- my sister and I were sexually molested on a plane 29 years ago, seated beside a man, while our parents were across the aisle from us.
    So sorry to disappoint, AlexNY, but just thinking something can’t be true, doesn’t make it truth. Go away and read a little more.

  64. Jjuliaava
    January 20, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    LisafromOz: My vote to AlexNY for mistaking his own ignorance for knowledge- my sister and I were sexually molested on a plane 29 years ago, seated beside a man, while our parents were across the aisle from us.So sorry to disappoint, AlexNY, but just thinking something can’t be true, doesn’t make it truth. Go away and read a little more.  

    Right. This policy is not “discriminatory” when it works to protect children from abuse. If I was male, I would have absolutely no issue with procedure because it successfully protects kids. The only rationale behind calling this policy “discriminatory” is that men’s rights to sit next to unaccompanied children on flights trumps children having the right to not be unwittingly in a situation where there is a possibility they could be fucked with.
    No doubt Richard is a Feminist. However, those hetero white males of a certain age have PRIVILEGE. It is so typical for those privileged to object the one time they are denied their privilege. It is like, cry me a river of tears. It is not asking so much for the privileged to give up this one little thing–sitting next to children on planes. Oh please, that is in no way “discriminatory” practice. Is just sensible policy. C’mon y’all.
    Alex for the win.

  65. Jjuliaava
    January 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    @Richard: check the cartoon at the top of this page!

  66. Dae
    January 20, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    Supes, for taking the High Road of Unacknowledged Privilege.

  67. sabrina
    January 21, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    boycott american women because he has his own site dedicated to it!

  68. Another Sarah
    January 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    Randall Shake for inventing something called “Feminized Women”, presumably because regular women won’t come near him. I’m not sure how a woman becomes “feminized”–is it like being lobotomized?

    AlexNY’s quote shouldn’t have made it on. He’s actually right about there being a “presumption of male guilt”; it’s one of the ways sexism hurts men (especially black men), by presuming violence to be part and parcel of being male.

    BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN almost won, but he wasn’t creative enough to make up any new words, so Randall Shake comes out the winner in my book.

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