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17 Responses

  1. Jessica Isabel
    Jessica Isabel March 20, 2011 at 8:19 pm |

    Thanks to the writer for this thought-provoking piece. I’ve often reflected on how all the different intersecting identities we all possess shape our understanding of the philosophies and political agendas we choose to adopt.

    I know that for me, it’s very difficult to situate myself for a variety of reasons. For one, although this proud Latina can cook up a storm of arroz con gandules and can speak Spanish fluently, I have all of the physical cues of a white woman. I am often mistaken for Italian, Mediterranean, and sometimes Middle Eastern. Given that I’m not easily racializable, I have alot of white privilege I wouldn’t otherwise have if I was darker-skinned, if my hair wasn’t straight, or my features less European. So, even though I’ve had awful, traumatic experiences of racism and prejudice that did happen to me, I often feel that in the context of an anti-racist dialogue, I straddle the boundary between the one who has experienced, and the ally who sympathizes.

    In a similar way, in terms of my sexuality and gender, I’m a cisgender woman in a relationship with a cisgender man. Most people make the assumption that I’m straight. I tend to dress femme, and though I have a short haircut, it’s never been something that has made people question my sexuality. So even though I do identify as queer, and I am attracted to people of all genders, when I attend LGBTQ events and discussions, I’m again straddling that line: the subject and the ally.

    Don’t be surprised if this ends up as a blog post over at Scribbles & Sonnets. This really got me thinking.

  2. Jadey
    Jadey March 20, 2011 at 10:16 pm |

    Thank you.

    I can’t scrape up enough brain cells to make a more constructive comment so heartfelt and brief will have to do, but as an aside if anyone is interested in yet more writing from the black male feminist perspective (I personally can’t get enough of it), I recommend Gary L. Lemons’ Black Male Outsider: Teaching as a Pro-feminist Man : A Memoir, which also includes a pedagogical perspective. It was first cited to me by someone on Feministe who was a former student of Lemons, and it did not disappoint.

    Thank you again, G.D., for this post.

  3. Brigid Keely
    Brigid Keely March 20, 2011 at 11:20 pm |

    Thanks for writing this, it was really interesting and I’m thinking about what you’ve said. I’m hopping over to check out your website now; I’m sure it’ll be as thought provoking as this piece. Sorry if this sounds kind of generic and not thoughtful, but I do want to say thanks for a piece from a Black male feminist perspective. It’s not a voice I hear a lot, so I’m really interested in hearing/reading more about your experience.

  4. Geo
    Geo March 21, 2011 at 1:49 am |

    Very, very helpful – writing! Thanks for allowing us all to read it. Byron Hurt – is (already) noted on A Men’s Project (my link here) – as a national/international speaker- other individuals (such as the author of this) or websites related to Men and Sexism/Racism and similar are Always welcome – to get added to A Men’s Project to help make it more relevant. Thanks!

  5. Iany
    Iany March 21, 2011 at 2:41 am |

    This is a really great article. Thank you for sharing it. I think you really hit the nail on the head with the how your experiences have informed your views, instead of the other way around. Good stuff, I’m going to go read your blog now :)

  6. Medea
    Medea March 21, 2011 at 4:12 am |

    Thanks, that was great.

  7. Kaija
    Kaija March 21, 2011 at 6:48 am |

    Thank you so much for this heartfelt and eloquent piece. As others have said, it is definitely thoughtprovoking and echoes some of the realizations and awarenesses that I have developed about racism and other identities as an outgrowth of my own experiences as a woman and a feminist. I also especially liked the observation that some of the “click” moments occurred once out of the place where you grew up…as was the case for me as well. I’m grateful for the broader view and scope of feminism when it is truly intersectional and this piece is a wonderful example of that.

  8. Tawny
    Tawny March 21, 2011 at 9:12 am |

    Thank you for writing this. =) I’m at work, so I can’t say much, but I really appreciated reading your experiences, and it is always good to know that there are hetero dudes out there actually empathizing and understanding.

    It makes all those times when one of them is doing the opposite easier to bear.

  9. Essential Concepts: How Patriarchy and Rape Culture Hurt Men | Change Happens: The SAFER Blog

    […] Also see: Patriarchy Hurts Men Too, The Patriarchy is Bad for Everyone, Gender Stereotypes Hurt Men Too, In Which Another Dunderhead Dodobrain Fails to Realize That Feminism is His Friend, Not His Enemy, This Post Really Is About The Menz, Why I Am a Male Feminist, Black. Male. Feminist? […]

  10. Katie
    Katie March 21, 2011 at 11:33 pm |

    This was great. Sent it to a friend who has a really similar history, and it was meaningful for us both in different ways.

  11. Li
    Li March 22, 2011 at 2:41 am |

    After the day I just had, it was really amazing to come home to an article like this. I’m not really able to do a longer response right now, but I really appreciate reading about another feminist/pro-feminist man’s experience.

  12. Yonmei
    Yonmei March 22, 2011 at 3:57 am |

    Why is it that any post by a man expressing himself as a strong feminist ally invariably receives thanks for writing it rather than discussion?

    It’s a great post. I find the answers that come up when you ask “When / how did you become a feminist?” endlessly interesting.

    But I do wonder – and I trust G.D. would react to that with thoughtfulness (and maybe another great post) about the politics of a man writing about feminism on a feminist blog.

  13. Emily
    Emily March 22, 2011 at 6:54 am |

    So many of the male voices in this space are antagonistic commenters. I think it’s really valuable to have contructive thoughtful posts from a male perspective. I love the way GD describes how his personal experiences made feminism make sense to him. I love hearing peoples personal stories and journeys. I think it’s one of the best ways to get people to see different perpectives, make new connections, enrich their theory and activism.

    Despite being female I have mostly always felt safe in my neighborhood, in my schools. I know that a lot of that is privilege, and maybe some of it is denial, but GDs vivid description living as a young person with the fear of being targeted for basically no reason – that bit definitely has me thinking.

  14. Lauren
    Lauren March 22, 2011 at 7:34 am |

    Yonmei: But I do wonder – and I trust G.D. would react to that with thoughtfulness (and maybe another great post) about the politics of a man writing about feminism on a feminist blog.

    Yonmei, I’m the founder of Feministe and this used to be my personal blog. There is a long history over this blog’s 10+ years of attempting inclusiveness on many levels and inviting voices that would inspire thought and discussion outside of our norms, including having male voices participate. This piece happened to be recommended by me as a possible guest post when I saw it and loved it on PB (I’m a long-time reader of their blog, which is great BTW). Incidentally, the mods always welcome guest posts and posts can be recommended by writing feministe at gmail. But I don’t see any reason why another post dissecting the usefulness of men writing about feminism is necessary unless one believes feminism is a woman-only movement.

  15. What We Missed
    What We Missed March 23, 2011 at 3:55 pm |

    […] G.D. on being black, male and feminist. […]

  16. Victoria
    Victoria March 24, 2011 at 9:48 am |

    Great post. If you’re looking for more to read, I’d recommend Mark Anthony Neal’s book New Black Man. He offers a practical theory of Black male feminism that was really refreshing to read. He also talks a great deal about parenting daughters and brings up some of the issues you mention.

  17. Catholic School and Feminism | The Overeducated

    […] me pinpoint a third reason why that incident means so much to me. The first was a guest post from G.D. of PostBourgie at, and the second was the article that inspired G.D.’s post by Byron Hurt over at The […]

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