17-year-old high school student meets 29-year-old McCain campaign staffer. He asks her out, because that is totally appropriate. They date, because why wouldn’t a 30-year-old man have tons in common with a high school senior? He proposes in front of the high school where they met, where she was a high school student and he was almost 30. She swoons that her father “wouldn’t have given me up to anyone else.” They have a 700-person wedding. There is a big dress and bigger hair and a pink ballroom. Somehow, I do not wake up screaming at the end of this nightmare.