Against Coldplay

What SFJ said.

Seven out of ten times, Coldplay sound almost exactly like U2—the U2 that exists now, not the wiry, feral U2 of 1980 (which would be a decent idea). U2 have not broken up. This is inefficient. Coldplay should consider copying Big Star or The Monkees.

Yes. I don’t hate Coldplay with the fiery passion that I direct at, say, John Mayer, but I’m generally offended by the fact that people think they’re good. I mean, they are fine. They are generally inoffensive, even if I can’t stand listening to them for more than a few seconds before wanting to stab myself in the temple? But dear god, they are not good.

Also I hate modern-day U2.


Everyone go listen to some Tom Waits.

Author: has written 5281 posts for this blog.

Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
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87 Responses

  1. Adult Child
    Adult Child October 28, 2011 at 7:15 pm |

    You know who are good? The Monkees. Realtalk.

  2. Nick
    Nick October 28, 2011 at 7:25 pm |

    I used to do crazy drugs with my girlfriend years before. We’d listen to coldplay if one of us started to freak out. It was actually really effective for calming people on pcp-like drugs. Outside of that I think they’re really intolerable.

  3. red3blog
    red3blog October 28, 2011 at 7:31 pm |

    Hey, the Monkees are good. Respect.

    I’ve never gotten the appeal of Coldplay. Whenever they come on the radio, I invariably do this mumble sing-along, usually to a different Coldplay song than is actually on the radio because they all sound exactly the same so you really can sing over one song with another. Its silly that they get treated like the second-coming of R.E.M. when they just do “Clocks” over and over again.

    My favorite line every about Coldplay comes from the AV Club on their latest single: “‘Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall,”’a name seemingly chosen by an extremely sarcastic committee tasked with producing the ultimate Coldplay song title.”

  4. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 28, 2011 at 7:34 pm |

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvHvWVEJbHI

    Now there’s some goood English rock. I’ve also inherited my mom’s infatuation with David Bowie. Though not her liking of ColdPlay. They’re okay, but they just don’t rock hard enough for me. Green Day is about the only active English band I like right now. And I hate their old stuff.
    U2 has it’s moments, but I don’t like them enough to plunk down a hundred bucks.
    By the way, when they toured in my town, here’s the dude I saw instead.

  5. XtinaS
    XtinaS October 28, 2011 at 7:41 pm |

    I actually don’t mind Coldplay at all, and I have never quite figured out what the mad-on for Coldplay is.  I asked once, though, and apparently it’s the fanbase.  But past that… the points listed in the article could be applied to nearly any pop star who has ever existed, and yet Coldplay.

    I don’t even like them enough to be all fussed about people not liking them!  Which I think is the gripping point for me: there’s nothing substantive about them, really, and so people having strong feelings about them is strange.  (Not like “how dare you”, but like “aroo?”.)  It’d be like having firm opinions about water.

    On the con side, and for reasons I really cannot figure out, he has one of those faces that I really want to punch.  *shrugs*

    (Although I am pleased that this reminded me that I am in hearts with Lotus Flower by Radiohead.)

  6. Joan Fritts
    Joan Fritts October 28, 2011 at 7:47 pm |

    Long live the Pogues!

  7. machina
    machina October 28, 2011 at 8:05 pm |

    Modern-day U2? I thought they were ripping off early Radiohead.

  8. Melanie
    Melanie October 28, 2011 at 9:27 pm |

    The latest album is kinda lame, admittedly and unfortunately. But you’re really really wrong if you think A Rush of Blood to the Head is bad. Its awesome. They’re no U2 two, and they sound better anyway. Second people like them because they’re original and their songs are listenable. Chris Martin’s piano in ARBH was wonderful.
    1.U2 and Radiohead do not do piano, and if they do its not as half as good as CP.
    2.Radiohead’s lyrics are too out there. Some of them just make no sense.
    3.Bono’s moaning is annoying at times. Christ Martin doesn’t moan on and on in songs.
    4.Bono is not worth 900 million(capitalism gone awry).
    Not every mainstream artist is a copycat or bad.

    Don’t hate on early Coldplay, they put out good shit.

  9. Archie
    Archie October 28, 2011 at 9:41 pm |

    Tom Waits is beautiful like a face with a gap tooth smile.ans one eye bigger than the other, or a broken down cast iron boiler converted in use to a flower pot. Weeds on the path and a broken tread on the stairs or two.

    Now who the Fuck is coldplay?

  10. Bridget
    Bridget October 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm |

    I agree with this post. Except I’m actually not so crazy about Tom Waits, either (unlike ALL of my friends, it seems).

  11. Glundank
    Glundank October 28, 2011 at 9:47 pm |

    Hell yeah. Tom Waits is the voice of all generations.

  12. Miku
    Miku October 28, 2011 at 10:00 pm |

    Since we’re all up in it about music, I really want to express my love for Shad.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3nbTB2KHuM
    (Link to the music video for Keep Shining, by Shad).

    Not as big as Radiohead or Tom Waits, but I hope he’s an artist more feminists feel they can get behind. This song (the one I’ve linked to) is all about empowering women to be more active in every scene – from rap to being a sister. It’s really great.

    Okay, okay, I’m done with my plug. :)

  13. Anon21
    Anon21 October 28, 2011 at 10:12 pm |

    Tom Waits has got an extremely Muppet-ish voice. Which I guess is fine, if you’re into Muppets.

  14. Sid
    Sid October 28, 2011 at 10:48 pm |

    Err, huh? Isn’t it a teensy bit passe to be hating on Coldplay, now, at the end of 2011? (And might I add nearly as much as whining about how wayward U2 have gone) It’s getting to Jefferson Airplane/Starship level.

  15. Gabrielle
    Gabrielle October 28, 2011 at 11:40 pm |

    @Anon21: Thank you for saying that.

    I like Coldplay. They will always have a special place in my heart.

  16. auditorydamage
    auditorydamage October 29, 2011 at 1:05 am |

    And by “Tom Waits”, you meant Arch Enemy, right?

  17. Mercedes Allen
    Mercedes Allen October 29, 2011 at 8:18 am |

    I actually kind of like Coldplay at times.

    Even so, I can’t understand how anyone at all can hear “Talk” and not see it as ripped from Kraftwerk’s “Computer Love.”

  18. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 29, 2011 at 10:59 am |

    Auditorydamage: Hey, another fan! I could listen to Angela allll day!
    At the risk of incurring the wrath of the spam warrior software, I present:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTygvT3_Mds&feature=related

    I dare anyone to hate it.

  19. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 29, 2011 at 11:01 am |

    As for Tom Waits, not bad, but I like moar bass’n drums.

  20. zuzu
    zuzu October 29, 2011 at 11:29 am |

    Anon21:
    Tom Waits has got an extremely Muppet-ish voice. Which I guess is fine, i fyou’re into Muppets.

    Dwarfish, maybe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4_zaZ3utUY

  21. Comrade Kevin
    Comrade Kevin October 29, 2011 at 12:43 pm |

    I wouldn’t turn it off if I heard Coldplay, but I wouldn’t exactly turn it on in the first place, either.

  22. Auguste
    Auguste October 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm |

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRQZMreM5Qs Just looks like a good place to put this down.

  23. Rush of Blood
    Rush of Blood October 29, 2011 at 2:11 pm |

    A Rush of Blood to the Head was actually one of the best albums of the 2000s. Not many pop bands write melodies like that anymore.

  24. andie
    andie October 29, 2011 at 2:14 pm |

    Thank you. I hate Coldplay with a passion that burns like 1000 fiery suns.

    I loved U2 in my early teens, but couldn’t really get behind anything they did after Zooropa. (except hold me thrill me kiss me kill me, I thought that song was decent).

    I like the idea of Tom Waits more than I think I actually like Tom Waits.

    More people need to listen to the first five or six albums put out by Hawksley Workman. That man is crazy talented. And I have an undying love for The Tragically Hip (except for Music At Work, that was kind of a crappy album). I’m kind of a Can-Rock loyalist (except Nickelback. Fuck Nickelback. Stupid Douche-rock giving my country a bad name).

  25. Cody
    Cody October 29, 2011 at 2:19 pm |

    I feel like Coldplay is a sterilized version of Radiohead.

  26. Josh
    Josh October 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm |

    Oh man, I hate it when people like music that I don’t like. Don’t you? Movies and art, too. Those people who like different things than I do just don’t *get it*. People who don’t like the same things I do need to go listen to the music that I like, and eat the food I enjoy.

    (I don’t even like Coldplay, but I don’t see the point in ragging on stuff that other people enjoy. What does anyone get out of that? Jill – do you really think Coldplay fans will see this post and realize the error of their ways? No, they’ll resent the person telling them they have no taste and immediately tune you and Sasha out.)

  27. igglanova
    igglanova October 29, 2011 at 8:13 pm |

    Can’t we all just hate Coldplay in peace? I guess that would be too close to having an opinion and god, how pointless is that? Some people might feel judged, Jill.

  28. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 29, 2011 at 8:46 pm |

    Auguste: WTF was that? My ears, my ears. *Whimper*
    I dunno, I hardly listen to the top 40 anymore. Youtube, the local free-range radio station, the merch I bring home and my Itunes satisfy my needs.

  29. Juke
    Juke October 29, 2011 at 8:53 pm |

    I never really understood the Coldplay hatedom. Maybe it’s because I never listened much to the bands they supposedly rip off, so I didn’t get the “this is such a rip off” vibe. Or…I dunno. I’ve always enjoyed them. Except X&Y. That was pretty bland all around.

    Mercedes Allen: Even so, I can’t understand how anyone at all can hear “Talk” and not see it as ripped from Kraftwerk’s “Computer Love.”

    Does it count as ripping off if they asked for and received permission from the band before using the melody? If so that would indict a good portion of hip-hop and electronic artists.

  30. Raja
    Raja October 30, 2011 at 5:38 am |

    If you don’t like a band than don’t listen to them, seems like a waste of energy to spend time hating them.

  31. Safiya Outlines
    Safiya Outlines October 30, 2011 at 6:25 am |

    I could agree with the Coldplay hating part, but not the go and listen to Tom bloody Waits.

    Tom Waits is like brussel sprouts. People try to make you listen to him because he’s such a maverick genius supposedly, but I think most prefer would prefer a bit of Queen instead and rightly so.

  32. Computer Soldier Porygon
    Computer Soldier Porygon October 30, 2011 at 6:30 am |

    One time I was in a car accident to Coldplay, it was totally weird and so not how I want to die.

  33. William
    William October 30, 2011 at 8:55 am |

    If you don’t like a band than don’t listen to them, seems like a waste of energy to spend time hating them.

    Normally I’d agree with the “if you don’t like it don’t do it” sentiment but music is different. The problem in music is that, even with all of the advances in DIY technology, its still expensive to make an album and get it out there. A band like Coldplay eats up resources, cheapens the art form, and makes it harder for artists who actually give a shit about being something other than the soundtrack to a 30-something’s awkward attempt to remain hip to get a break. Instead of funding recording for new artists doing interesting things record companies are looking for the next Coldplay (or Green Day, or U2, or Nickleback).

    Meanwhile, you have entire genres of music which remain basically unknown in the US. Whole groups of artists doing new and interesting things who either don’t come to play live in the US at all or who do so mainly because they want a US audience to see them and accept that the American market isn’t going to make them real money. There is no goddamn excuse for Coldplay, especially when you’ve got a band like Opeth releasing things like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1pi7Dn87mY

  34. Kathy
    Kathy October 30, 2011 at 9:35 am |

    I like the idea of TomWaits more than I think I actually like Tom Waits.

    I feel that way about a lot of punk and indie rock, particularly the current deluge of 90s nostalgia for riot grrrl: I’m glad it existed, but I’d rather not to it.

    For those comparing Tom Waits to a muppet, his earlier records were far less “Cookie Monster.” I love Waits, but sometimes he sounds like a bad Tom Waits impersonator.

  35. EG
    EG October 30, 2011 at 9:48 am |

    Raja: If you don’t like a band than don’t listen to them, seems like a waste of energy to spend time hating them.

    Why is it that so many people don’t seem to understand the great pleasure that comes from bitching about something you hate? It’s not like bitching about Coldplay does anybody any harm.

  36. petpluto
    petpluto October 30, 2011 at 10:14 am |

    XtinaS:
    I don’t even like them enough to be all fussed about people not liking them! Which I think is the gripping point for me: there’s nothing substantive about them, really, and so people having strong feelings about them is strange. (Not like “how dare you”, but like “aroo?”.) It’d be like having firm opinions about water.

    I actually like Coldplay, much in the way you describe. It’s my morning commute music, actually, because if I’m awake-ish, it’s soothing, but if I’m sleepy I can have it as background noise that is consistent enough not to be jarring, but “noisy” enough to block out other train passengers. It’s like the perfect music for that. I like Opeth, but I can’t sleep to them on the train.

    I like them infinitely better than U2, mostly for the reasons Melanie up in comment 8 mentions.

    However, there’s a piano part in “Death and all of His Friends” that I swear they stole from something else, and it naggles at me every time I hear it, even when I’m asleep.

  37. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 30, 2011 at 11:14 am |

    William: I wouldn’t underestimate Opeth. They played the biggest club in my town recently, (didn’t go, suffering from concert fatigue and cash flow problems) and are getting quite a lot of airplay on certain stations. I’m considering getting their latest album, but I want to hear more. I mean, they might not be selling out stadiums, but they’re doing pretty well. That said, I wish we could attract more symphonic metal bands, or metal bands with front women. We have one local female led band here, and to be honest, I’m not sold on them.
    Although maybe I’m a little biased, because I live in a town where people will listen to *anything.* Spoken word? Yep. Hip-hop and R&B that doesn’t suck? Yessiree. Dudes with washtubs? Check. Four guys with kickdrums and three guitars? Not only will people listen to that, they’ll pack the club.

  38. Safiya Outlines
    Safiya Outlines October 30, 2011 at 3:07 pm |

    Jill – *Shudder*.

    William – No, actually a label having a big seller (especially in this era of apalling record sales), brings money into the label and allows the label to fund smaller acts. Think Bjork at One Little Indian, The Prodigy at XL and Oasis at Creation (the latter until Alan McGee fritted all the money away on drugs). Certainly, there will be bands at Coldplay’s label who are only there because Coldplay’s royalties are supporting them. Labels need the money to invest in new bands and a guaranteed unit shifter like Coldplay brings it to the

    Just like authors bemoan the popularity of celeb autobiographies, they know that they sell by the ton and help to keep the publishing houses afloat.

    In an a world where music is so easily accessible and you can hear everything instantly, you’d think people would have better taste, but sadly not. As for metal bands, they tend to do very well with out ever being near the mainstream, especially when it comes to touring, which is now the biggest guaranteed money earner. The market for metal is there, without the mainstream having to take much notice of it.

    Really good article about the rapidly diminishing sales of even supposedly successful artists: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/oct/27/when-bands-fall-off-cliffs (It is a bit UK centric though).

  39. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve October 30, 2011 at 6:11 pm |

    andie: andie 10.29.2011 at 2:14 pm
    Thank you. I hate Coldplay with a passion that burns like 1000 fiery suns.

    I loved U2 in my early teens, but couldn’t really get behind anything they did after Zooropa. (except hold me thrill me kiss me kill me, I thought that song was decent).

    I like the idea of Tom Waits more than I think I actually like Tom Waits.

    More people need to listen to the first five or six albums put out by Hawksley Workman. That man is crazy talented. And I have an undying love for The Tragically Hip (except for Music At Work, that was kind of a crappy album). I’m kind of a Can-Rock loyalist (except Nickelback. Fuck Nickelback. Stupid Douche-rock giving my country a bad name).

    Lowest of the Low, Headstones, The Odds…you got good loyalties there.

  40. Jaime
    Jaime October 30, 2011 at 6:27 pm |

    I like the idea of Tom Waits more than I think I actually like Tom Waits.

    FWIW I feel this way about Bjork and Radiohead. Lurve lurve LURVE Tom Waits, but I just couldn’t get into ALICE or BLOOD MONEY. I also ‘ship Emmylou Harris, but her latest HARD BARGAIN didn’t grab me. So, you know, to quote the Chief Dan George from Little Big Man: “Sometimes the magic works, sometimes it doesn’t.”

  41. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve October 30, 2011 at 6:36 pm |

    andie: I’m kind of a Can-Rock loyalist

    Can’t believe I forgot to mention DOA, Ch 3, The Sub-Numans and The Forgotten Rebels. Plus the greatest fictional punk band ever Hard Core Logo (though from what I hear the sequel is so bad it can make one forget how good the original was.)

  42. Lori
    Lori October 30, 2011 at 7:54 pm |

    Coldplay is catch to run to; I don’t really get the hate. I would rather listen to Radiohead or Bon Iver. If you made me listen to Tom Waits, I might have to stab myself in the temple.

  43. Raja
    Raja October 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm |

    Taste in music is entirely subjective like many other forms of art in this world. To be honest I am not a fan of Coldplay but I don’t hate them either. I’ve listened to one song or two that I thought was nice but that’s about it. As for U2, haven’t really listened to them a lot either but I liked electrical storm. The only musician I can say I really hate with a passion is Justin Bieber but I don’t spend time focusing on him rather I pretend he simply does not exist and listen to music I find enjoyable.

  44. PeggyLuWho
    PeggyLuWho October 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm |

    Does anyone else have that thing where Pandora keeps trying to convince them that they like Coldplay? I really do not. That guy’s voice? It bugs. Nails on a chalkboard.

    But if anyone needs me, I’ll be over in my corner listening to The Postal Service or The Xx

  45. EG
    EG October 30, 2011 at 9:49 pm |

    Safiya Outlines: Just like authors bemoan the popularity of celeb autobiographies, they know that they sell by the ton and help to keep the publishing houses afloat.

    Not in my experience. I mean, yes, crap like Snooki’s memoir sells tons, but the days when publishers were run by literature-loving types who liked to use the proceeds from big-selling crap to fund the prestige projects of actual decent writers are long gone. Nowadays the Big Six want/expect every book to be a celeb book, every children’s fantasy to be Harry Potter, every vampire to be Twilight. On the plus side, there’s been a proliferation of small presses trying to pick up the slack.

    From a contrastingly uninformed standpoint, a similar thing seems to be happening in music, at least rock, as more bands move toward indie labels or even no labels. I don’t know if the cause is similar, though (i.e. the corporate drive to blockbuster or nothing).

  46. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 31, 2011 at 2:14 am |

    EG: I think some of the drift toward self-released albums and self-run labels is due to a shift in technology. You don’t have to have all the big clunky machinery anymore, now all people need is some place with nice acoustics, a space for the band to play in, and a bunch of computers. That said, it ain’t foolproof. One of the big indy bands around here has a frontman with a recording studio in his apartment. He got burglarized, and two other bands lost an album each. (It’s all good though. They had a big honking benefit to raise funds for replacements and to compensate the affected bands.

  47. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve October 31, 2011 at 7:35 am |

    Raja: The only musician I can say I really hate with a passion is Justin Bieber

    Pretty sure that’s NOT what andie meant by ‘Can-Rock’. Though perhaps she does feel some Canadian loyalty to make fun of his hair only every OTHER time she sees him.

  48. Andie
    Andie October 31, 2011 at 8:32 am |

    Fat Steve:Can’t believe I forgot to mention DOA, Ch 3, The Sub-Numans and The Forgotten Rebels. Plus the greatest fictional punk band ever Hard Core Logo (though from what I hear the sequel is so bad it can make one forget how good the original was.)

    HCL is my favorite movie ever. I’m a little afraid to see the sequel because frankly I don’t think it needed a sequel at all. From what I’ve heard I like the way they tied it in with the original (singer obsessed with Joe Dick) but I’m not sure that’s enough to make me watch it. I kind of have a hate-on for sequels.

    I’m not greatly familiar with the hardcore punk scene in CA, but I will say that Forgotten Rebels have provided a lot of fodder for campfire sing-a-longs.

  49. Andie
    Andie October 31, 2011 at 8:35 am |

    Politicalguineapig:
    EG: I think some of the drift toward self-released albums and self-run labels is due to a shift in technology. You don’t have to have all the big clunky machinery anymore, now all people need is some place with nice acoustics, a space for the band to play in, and a bunch of computers. That said, it ain’t foolproof. One of the big indy bands around here has a frontman with a recording studio in his apartment. He got burglarized, and two other bands lost an album each. (It’s all good though. They had a big honking benefit to raise funds for replacements and to compensate the affected bands.

    The technology and the Internet has done a lot to level the playing field.. I don’t think we’ll see any huge generation-uniting performers or albums anymore, but that’s not a bad thing.. there’s a lot of freedom now that if you don’t like what is playing on the Radio, to go elsewhere… I’ve discovered a lot of music I like through Grooveshark, and listening to CBC radio 3. I think a lot of smaller bands are actually able to make more of a living because they don’t necessarily require the backing of a major label.

  50. EG
    EG October 31, 2011 at 9:15 am |

    Politicalguineapig: I think some of the drift toward self-released albums and self-run labels is due to a shift in technology.

    Oh, of course! Luddite that I am, I completely forgot about this. The same is true for publishing–the way that computers made desktop publishing, layout, things like that a real possibility, so that small presses could produce books that actually looked professional is what made this shift possible in that field as well.

  51. Vaginal Obsession – TSA, you’re doing it wrong « The Legal Satyricon

    [...] lose his or her job. Nevetheless, she did not call for the agent’s head. (She admirably dislikes Coldplay more than she dislikes this Agent). It’s easy to scape-goat one individual here, but the problem [...]

  52. Natalia
    Natalia October 31, 2011 at 9:51 am |

    Fun fact: When I moved to Amman, the lyrics to “Viva La Vida” suddenly became relevant to my life.

    I was not a happy person in Amman.

  53. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 31, 2011 at 10:38 am |

    Andie: You’re right about the internet making a lot of bands and performers more accessible. I have a couple of downloads sitting in my inbox right now, I get alerts from bands on Facebook, which is really helpful when planning an evening out. (I have a small tech question, by the way. Is it possible to do a ‘save link as’ from hotmail?)
    I use Youtube to search interesting bands, and I listen to a local radio stations’s internet archives. Said radio station is about as far from top 40 as you can get. It’s DJs are all volunteers, and all are devoted to their respective formats.
    EG: Yeah, the ‘nets have really done a lot for businesses like publishing, producing music, and the arts in general. It’s even produced whole new genres, like dubstep and techno. Heck, there are some people recording themselves on their smartphones and distributing their music via the phone network.
    I pretty much grew up in the internet age, so it doesn’t seem that strange to me until I stop to think about it. That said, have you ever seen the equipment in the recording studios? Looks like it was stolen from NASA.
    Unfortunately, sometimes the sound quality isn’t the best on the EPs or promotional CDs. I have three that have a lot of background noise.

  54. Florence
    Florence October 31, 2011 at 10:52 am |

    You guys, since we’re talking music, I watched the “loudQUIETloud” documentary on the Pixies this weekend and it was great. Kim Deal FTW.

    Which kind of leads in to why I can’t stand Coldplay (seconded on temple-stabbing urges): THE PRODUCTION. It’s so sleek it lacks any character or soul. Sure you can sing along and the melodies are inoffensive, but it ain’t rock n’ roll. So, look at Tom Waits who is all discordance and unusual melodies — he’s an acquired taste partly because you have to be able to tolerate and understand the discordance to love the song-writing, which is almost always impeccable. Or on the other hand, you have someone like Bjork who is known for extremely sleek production values on all of her albums, but is equally discordant and quirky as Tom Waits. Then you’ve got an Elliott Smith who was made an indie rock god for his early folkish albums, all of which were quiet and raw, and who was roundly dismissed from indie circles for “selling out” and adding corporate production values to his albums, despite arguably being particularly amenable to these production values due to the easy comparisons to the Beach Boys and the Beatles. Production, in other words, can give added value to music, but when the main added value is inoffensiveness what’s that saying about the music itself?

    But Coldplay is all production, some memorable guitar riffs, and a lot of nonsensical/cliche lyrics packaged and sold (like William said) to the too-old-to-be and too-young-to-be cool. Coldplay is the Christopher Cross of the aughts. My son’s elementary school choir bought the sheet music to “Clocks” and I’ve been forced to listen to a hundred kids earnestly singing “youuuuuuuuuu ohhhhhhhhhhh” at me every year for four years at the annual pageant.

    Finally, Coldplay has only one degree of separation from GOOP, so fuck ‘em all.

  55. Crys T
    Crys T October 31, 2011 at 10:55 am |

    Can I hate both Coldplay and Tom Waits (as a musician-I kinda like him in films)?

    Also, come on people, it’s 2011–time to get more multilingual: MC Mabon, Rachid Taha, Ricard Pugidomenech, Aias, Perrozompopo, Femin Muguruza and on and on.

    Also, yes, the Monkees were ever so excellent. I don’t buy into all the 60s mythologising that goes on (I actually have some pretty clear late-60s memories, so I know a lot of it was shit), but the Monkees is one 60s band that’s still worth a listen. Them and the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band.

  56. Crys T
    Crys T October 31, 2011 at 10:58 am |

    Ew, I hate the way my excessive use of “60s” is showing one lined up exactly under the other.

    Also: who doesn’t get that it’s fun to argue about which bands are crap and which aren’t? That was my entire youth!

  57. Florence
    Florence October 31, 2011 at 11:24 am |

    Crys T: Also: who doesn’t get that it’s fun to argue about which bands are crap and which aren’t? That was my entire youth!

    Right? Let’s argue about something low-consequence for once.

    Tom Waits rules, Coldplay drools.

  58. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve October 31, 2011 at 11:33 am |

    Andie:
    HCL is my favorite movie ever. I’m a little afraid to see the sequel because frankly I don’t think it needed a sequel at all. From what I’ve heard I like the way they tied it in with the original (singer obsessed with Joe Dick) but I’m not sure that’s enough to make me watch it. I kind of have a hate-on for sequels.

    I’m not greatly familiar with the hardcore punk scene in CA, but I will say that Forgotten Rebels have provided a lot of fodder for campfire sing-a-longs.

    I saw it at perhaps it’s only showing in NY at the Tribeca Film Center (I think…it was on Varick ST.) Bruce McDonald was there for a Q&A and I swear there were probably less than 20 people in the audience including me and 3 friends (probably closer to 10.) The thing I remember the most was while we were waiting outside in the lobby, I saw him eyeing me up and was wondering if he could have possibly took offense to my question about using a cover of ‘Sonic Reducer’ in the film, when he sidles over and asks ‘Could you possibly spare one of those Marlboros?’ (Those were the days you could still smoke in the lobby and he was apparently unhappy with his Canadian cigs.) The chat we had in the next 10 minutes was much better than the Q&A.

  59. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig October 31, 2011 at 11:35 am |

    Crys T: Ooh, you don’t know what you’re in for.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpVHIDLXUPg&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFbsqEO5Qjw&feature=BFp&list=PL7F6F6C21E596EA8D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCFfuq_1iJA

    I tend to listen to mostly European and Asian bands, but I like some Mexican and Hispanic groups. I keep hoping that an Ecuadorean folk metal band will show up someday, because panpipes are awesome. Any kind of pipes just makes a great song better. Chinese rock is really cool, even though most of the acts sing in English. (May I plug Chthonic here? They need more respect.) I like J-rock too, though the lyrics and videos break my brain, and some of the acts are way too polished for my tastes.
    In closing..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECK9t3aLaDg

    Musical trolling in one of it’s finest moments. I think it’s the best parody that Weird Al Yanckovic didn’t do.

  60. Andie
    Andie October 31, 2011 at 11:45 am |

    I love the Sonic Reducer cover. I was disappointed that they never used Son of a Bitch to the Core in the movie.. I kept waiting to hear it after finding it in a Headstones anthology (turns out it wasn’t on the soundtrack, just the ‘inspired by’ album). Found out later that it was one of the songs in the book though.

  61. Natalia
    Natalia October 31, 2011 at 11:57 am |

    Finally, Coldplay has only one degree of separation from GOOP, so fuck ‘em all.

    GOOP is criminal, I agree. But I’m still a sentimental loser who associates “Yellow” with good times, so I just can’t bring myself to associate Coldplay with the horror of it all.

  62. Kathy
    Kathy October 31, 2011 at 12:18 pm |

    Crys T:
    Also, yes, the Monkees were ever so excellent. I don’t buy into all the 60s mythologising that goes on (I actually have some pretty clear late-60s memories, so I know a lot of it was shit), but the Monkees is one 60s band that’s still worth a listen. Them and the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band.

    The Monkees may have been wholly manufactured, but at least they had some ace songwriters at the helm. Granted, being born in t he 70s, I view the Monkees with nothing but historical distance. They were were my first concert though — their 20-year reunion (minus Mike Nesmith) with Weird Al opening.

  63. amethystt
    amethystt October 31, 2011 at 12:37 pm |

    …and when you’re finished listening to Tom Waits, listen to Man Man (because if you like Tom Waits it follows that you should like Man Man!): http://grooveshark.com/s/Van+Helsing+Boombox/2QeuY6?src=5

  64. Andie
    Andie October 31, 2011 at 1:31 pm |

    amethystt:
    …and when you’re finished listening to Tom Waits, listen to Man Man (because if you like Tom Waits it follows that you should like Man Man!):

    Oooh! Just recently discovered Man Man and I friggin’ LOVE THEM. In this kind of vein I also recommend The Burning Hell

    http://radio3.cbc.ca/#/bands/The-Burning-Hell

  65. Florence
    Florence October 31, 2011 at 1:37 pm |

    Yes, Man Man is pretty great.

  66. zuzu
    zuzu October 31, 2011 at 3:05 pm |

    Florence: Right? Let’s argue about something low-consequence for once.

    Tom Waits in a fascinator.

  67. Jadey
    Jadey October 31, 2011 at 3:45 pm |

    Jill: PLEASEsomeonewithPhotoshopdothis.

    I am imagining a fascinator resembling some sort of vortex, where if you stare deeply into it, Tom Waits stares back into you.

  68. Crys T
    Crys T November 1, 2011 at 4:28 am |

    Thanks politicalgiuineapig! I’m at work right now, so I can’t listen, but am looking forward to hearing something new.

  69. Crys T
    Crys T November 1, 2011 at 4:33 am |

    @Kathy Yeah, the Monkees were put together as actors for a TV show, but they’re also a great punk rock story. When they were told to be good little boys & do as they were told, they stood up, said, “Screw this, we’re doing what we want,” and proceeded to compose, choose, arrange and record some really good pop tracks.

    I wish some of the “real” bands around these days had anywhere near their guts. Hell, they even put out songs referencing the Viet Nam war & other political/social issues. How embarrassing is it that the fictional band from a freakin’ kids TV show from nearly 50 years ago was so much braver and more outspoken than nearly all the “legitimate,” “serious” artists around today?

    I’m depressed now.

  70. Florence
    Florence November 1, 2011 at 7:03 am |

    Jadey: I am imagining a fascinator resembling some sort of vortex, where if you stare deeply into it, Tom Waits stares back into you.

    Like this.

  71. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve November 1, 2011 at 7:46 am |

    Crys T: @Kathy Yeah, the Monkees were put together as actors for a TV show, but they’re also a great punk rock story. When they were told to be good little boys & do as they were told, they stood up, said, “Screw this, we’re doing what we want,” and proceeded to compose, choose, arrange and record some really good pop tracks.

    I wish some of the “real” bands around these days had anywhere near their guts. Hell, they even put out songs referencing the Viet Nam war & other political/social issues. How embarrassing is it that the fictional band from a freakin’ kids TV show from nearly 50 years ago was so much braver and more outspoken than nearly all the “legitimate,” “serious” artists around today?

    I’m depressed now.

    First of all that’s an oversimplification. Dolenz and Jones always regarded themselves as actors. Tork and Nesmith wrote some pop songs, but you render the term’punk’ meaningless, if you use it to describe ‘really good pop tracks’. That’s like saying Garth Brooks went punk when he did that alter-ego Chris something or Beyonce was punk when she assumed the Sasha Fierce character. Nearly all manufactured pop bands decided at one point they want to write/play their own music, and occasionally make decent music but usually fail commercially, and do what the remaining 3 Monkees have been doing for 30 plus years. Playing the old hits, most of which were the ones they didn’t write or play on.

    The Monkees are one of those bands that are simultaneously underrated and overrated. Their original fans didn’t appreciate that Mike Nesmith was a musical genius, while their disciples conveniently overlook that their best stuff was done with The Wrecking Crew.

    They’re not the Clash. But then again, who is?

  72. XtinaS
    XtinaS November 1, 2011 at 8:00 am |

    Dear Jill:

    Ask, and ye shall receive:

    http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d117/XShaolin/fascwaits.jpg

    For some reason.

  73. Crys T
    Crys T November 1, 2011 at 8:27 am |

    Oh gee whiz, forgive me for “oversimplifying” when writing a casual, lightheared note on a less-than-serious thread. And what would a Feministe thread be like if some dude didn’t come along, completely misinterpret the reference and proceed to lecture?

    Fat Steve, you are mansplaining: I know more about the Monkees than you. I know more about punk than you. So consider this your virtual Monkees moment: You are Herb Moelis. I am Mike Nesmith. You start with your “Blah, blah-blah blah-blah blah blah.” I slam my fist through the wall and scream, “THAT COULD’VE BEEN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

    I used the term “punk” not in reference to the Monkees’ musical style, but to their actions. Because, Steve my sweet, punk was not just a style of playing or even just a way of dressing: it could potentially encompass your approach to all aspects of your life.

    If you had bothered to, I dunno, live in the world at some point since the late 70s, you would have seen the term “punk” applied to filmmaking, literature writing (both prose & verse), academic theory, and on and on and on. In latter years, it’s been pretty much replaced by the terms “DIY” or “DIY spirit” (which actually only capture one aspect of the punk ethos, but there we go: detail is being eroded over time), but that does not mean that punk has always and forever been restricted to only those things Fat Steve believes it should.

    The Monkees are a great fucking punk rock story. Because they were set up as a fictional TV pop group and they took over and actually became, despite opposition from much more powerful foces, for all intents and purposes a real band. As Dolenz has said many, many times, it was as if Leonard Nimoy actually became a Vulcan. They–the puppets, the four dumb kids–had Don Kirshner (at that time a quite powerful name in pop) kicked off the Monkees project, they went into the studio and put together their own records their own way.

    And if you don’t like that, tough titty.

    (Also, hilarious that you brought up the Clash, as your model of True Punkitude , because they were a fucking manufactured band put together by Bernie Rhodes.)

  74. norbizness
    norbizness November 1, 2011 at 8:35 am |

    Say what you will about the Monkees, but you don’t often see a song written by Harry Nilsson in a movie directed by Bob Rafelson (later to do Five Easy Pieces), written (!) by Jack Nicholson, and starring Davy Jones, a young Toni Basil, and a postscript with Frank Zappa.

  75. Andie
    Andie November 1, 2011 at 8:44 am |

    This is why I fucking hate genre-labels.

  76. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig November 1, 2011 at 8:51 am |

    Crys T: You’re welcome. Just please remember that I cannot be held responsible for any hearing damage/trauma that may occur. A few other international bands that are worth checking out: Lumsk (Norway) Eluvite (Swiss) Blind Guardian (German), Krypteria (German, with a German/Korean lead) L’ Arc N Ceil and Hyde (Japanese), and Black Guayaba (Puerto Rican.)
    As for locals, some of the acts I’ve seen recently are 4onthefloor, Hastings 3000 and the Sexrays and Phantom Tails. I haven’t yet seen the Rope or Pink Mink, but not for lack of trying. The Rope is worth checking out if you like ’80s bands. They started out as a Sex Pistols cover band, but now they sound a lot like early Bowie, and play original music. Also, the Rockford Mules, which sound like Alan Jackson’s love child raised on Metallica. Oh, and Mayda. She’s really cool.

  77. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve November 1, 2011 at 8:53 am |

    Crys T: Fat Steve, you are mansplaining: I know more about the Monkees than you. I know more about punk than you. So consider this your virtual Monkees moment: You are Herb Moelis. I am Mike Nesmith. You start with your “Blah, blah-blah blah-blah blah blah.” I slam my fist through the wall and scream, “THAT COULD’VE BEEN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

    I used the term “punk” not in reference to the Monkees’ musical style, but to their actions. Because, Steve my sweet, punk was not just a style of playing or even just a way of dressing: it could potentially encompass your approach to all aspects of your life.

    If you had bothered to, I dunno, live in the world at some point since the late 70s, you would have seen the term “punk” applied to filmmaking, literature writing (both prose & verse), academic theory, and on and on and on. In latter years, it’s been pretty much replaced by the terms “DIY” or “DIY spirit” (which actually only capture one aspect of the punk ethos, but there we go: detail is being eroded over time), but that does not mean that punk has always and forever been restricted to only those things Fat Steve believes it should.

    The Monkees are a great fucking punk rock story. Because they were set up as a fictional TV pop group and they took over and actually became, despite opposition from much more powerful foces, for all intents and purposes a real band. As Dolenz has said many, many times, it was as if Leonard Nimoy actually became a Vulcan. They–the puppets, the four dumb kids–had Don Kirshner (at that time a quite powerful name in pop) kicked off the Monkees project, they went into the studio and put together their own records their own way.

    And if you don’t like that, tough titty.

    (Also, hilarious that you brought up the Clash, as your model of True Punkitude , because they were a fucking manufactured band put together by Bernie Rhodes.)

    Thought we were having a light discussion about music. My model of true punkitude is The Fugs. Then Yoko Ono. My favorite band is the Clash, because I love their music, not because of punk. I could go on and on about the missteps of the Clash, and would love to argue the Monkees thing, because i love a good music argument on a friendly level, but I guess it came of as ‘mansplaining’, so I’ll just quit now.

    My model of true punkitude is The Fugs. Then Yoko Ono. My favorite band is the Clash, because I love their music, not because of punk.

  78. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve November 1, 2011 at 8:58 am |

    sorry for the repeated line…it’s early for me…probably why my first response came across as a dickish attack on you Crys T. I never meant to imply my musical knowledge is better than yours…you clearly know your stuff…we just disagree.

  79. DP
    DP November 1, 2011 at 8:59 am |

    Crys T: me. Just please remember that I cannot be held responsible for any hearing damage/trauma that may occur. A few other international bands that are worth checking out: Lumsk (Norway) Eluvite (Swiss) Blind Guardian (German), Krypteria (German, with a German/Korean lead) L’ Arc N Ceil and Hyde (Japanese), and Black Guayaba (Puerto Rican.)
    As for locals, some of the acts I’ve seen recently are 4onthefloor, Hastings 3000 and the Sexrays and Phantom Tails. I haven’t yet seen the Rope or Pink Mink, but not for lack of trying. The Rope is worth checking out if you like ’80s bands. They started out as a Sex Pistols cover band, but now they sound a lot like early Bowie, and play original music. Also, the Rockford Mules, which sound like Alan Jackson’s love child raised on Metalli

    No one should ever care this much about the Monkees. That shit ain’t healthy.

  80. DouglasG
    DouglasG November 1, 2011 at 9:04 am |

    If memory serves, Miss Marple wore a fascinator in A Caribbean Mystery, but was never presented in it; she only recalled having done so in Nemesis when she read that Mr Rafiel had died.

    Nice to see it revived.

  81. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve November 1, 2011 at 9:11 am |

    Crys T: If you had bothered to, I dunno, live in the world at some point since the late 70s, you would have seen the term “punk” applied to filmmaking, literature writing (both prose & verse), academic theory, and on and on and on. In latter years, it’s been pretty much replaced by the terms “DIY” or “DIY spirit” (which actually only capture one aspect of the punk ethos, but there we go: detail is being eroded over time), but that does not mean that punk has always and forever been restricted to only those things Fat Steve believes it should.

    OK, I am going to address this bit, because we are in 100% in agreement of our definition of punk. In my opinion, DIY does not apply to a group that only got to play their own music as commercial success and were millionaire TV stars, then produced albums with a built in audience and top production quality.

    I really enjoy having this kind of back and forth and would have totally appreciated your response if you just addressed the ports of my argument you thought were bullshit, rather than making all sorts of assumptions ‘Fat Steve thinks this and that…etc’. I really would love to have a good discussion with you about music BECAUSE you know your shit.

  82. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig November 1, 2011 at 9:42 am |

    DP: Um, you were trying to quote Crys T, but quoted me instead. I’m not the one arguing about the Monkees. Honestly, I don’t really care about the Monkees. All the bands I mentioned are current ones.

  83. Politicalguineapig
    Politicalguineapig November 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm |

    Does anyone else have ‘Pumped up Kicks’ stuck in their head? It’s a fantastic earworm.

  84. Manju
    Manju November 1, 2011 at 8:31 pm |

    I could go on and on about the missteps of the Clash

    Strummer once said that as he got older he appreciated the fact that the Clash came, said their peace, then left. But it’s not quite true. First they purged Jones and then produced “Cut the Crap”, which is to the Clash what the Holmes fight was to Ali.

    So Jones was Trotsky and Strummer Stalin, at least around the time he was fretting about Jones’ “cultural imperialism” (Really. He used the term). He eventually came around and embraced Jones’ cultural sampling, but naming your Album after a lefty liberators who proved to be anything but was probably a misstep too. Could’ve been worse though: Shining Path, Khmer Rouge, Naxalite…

    But before that one, they had the greatest album cover of all time…though I was fond of this one too.

  85. Fat Steve
    Fat Steve November 1, 2011 at 8:50 pm |

    Manju: But before that one, they had the greatest album cover of all time…though I was fond of this one too.

    Was not expecting either of those…my fav clash album cover is Give Em enough Rope. Love the pennie smith shot of paul smashing his bass but the elvis rip off is a bit, y’know

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