“We got rowdy, and we got maced,” Jeff Heim, 19, said rubbing his red, teary eyes. “But make no mistake, the board started this riot by firing our coach. They tarnished a legend.” [Translation: You made me hit you by talking back; men who create things that other men like deserve a get-out-of-rape-free card. See also: Polanski defenders who really loved Chinatown].
“I think the point people are trying to make is the media is responsible for JoePa going down,” said a freshman, Mike Clark, 18, adding that he believed that Mr. Paterno had met his legal and moral responsibilities by telling university authorities about an accusation that Mr. Sandusky assaulted a boy in a university shower in 2002. [Translation: It's not the fault of the person who did the bad act. It's the fault of anyone who points that out. See also: Calling someone a racist or sexist is worse than actually being racist or sexist].
Some blew vuvuzelas, others air horns. One young man sounded reveille on a trumpet. Four girls in heels danced on the roof of a parked sport utility vehicle and dented it when they fell after a group of men shook the vehicle. A few, like Justin Muir, 20, a junior studying hotel and restaurant management, threw rolls of toilet paper into the trees. “It’s not fair,” Mr. Muir said hurling a white ribbon. “The board is an embarrassment to our school and a disservice to the student population.” [Translation: Wahhh waaaaaaaaahh. Yes, it's the board that is embarrassing your school, and not a 20-year-old man hurling toilet paper into trees while speaking to a New York Times reporter. Also: The "girls in high heels dancing on the roof of a car" line is about the only coverage that female students received in this article. All of the people actually interviewed were men. The girls, I guess, are pretty additions, with their high-heeled dancing to keep the riot sexy].
Paul Howard, 24, an aerospace engineering student, jeered the police. “Of course we’re going to riot,” he said. “What do they expect when they tell us at 10 o’clock that they fired our football coach?” [Translation: Of course you got hit. What do you expect when you don't have my dinner on the table when I get home?]
Another student, Caitlin Miller, stood outside Paterno’s house for part of the evening with signs reading “We Are proud of you Joe” and “When Joe told Schultz, he told the police.” [Translation: LOL "facts"].
Scandal overshadows the big day, by Ryan Loy: It’s important to say that the boys identified as victims in the grand jury presentment are the ones who were truly hurt in all of this and can’t be compared to members of the 2011 team. But, the current football program, specifically those who take the field each Saturday, deserve the recognition and support that has been a trademark of Penn State for so long. [Translation: Sure, rape is bad, but let's focus on what matters: FOOTBALL].
Get it together, guys.