Most watertight breakup letter ever

A lady friend of mine who happens to be an incipient lawyer recently broke up with her boyfriend. The boyfriend sent her a long post-breakup email (we’ve all sent that email). She composed a 100% kind, sweet, watertight response that could not possibly engender any further criticism or argument on his part.

It is my pleasure to share that response with you today; you should feel free to steal it if you need it for your own purposes:

[LETTER REMOVED AT REQUEST OF AUTHOR. SEE COMMENTS.]

Relatedly, I just wrote a post on how to break up and take it like a champ. Good luck, lonelyhearts. Virtual hugs.

About Clarisse Thorn

Clarisse Thorn is a Chicago-based, feminist, sex-positive activist and educator. Personal blog at clarissethorn.com; follow her on Twitter @clarissethorn; you can also buy her awesome book about pickup artists or her awesome best-of collection, The S&M Feminist.
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58 Responses to Most watertight breakup letter ever

  1. Yo, that shit is tight. It’s classy, short, an APOLOGY-apology that doesn’t leave any room for “give me a chaaaaaaaance.” Good work, your friend!

  2. Ladeeda says:

    There might be an imminent break-up in my future. I will bookmark this.

  3. *applause*

    And I thought my last breakup was clean.

  4. Sheelzebub says:

    I really don’t get the whole “email or call after your ex broke up with you” thing. I mean, you can get stuff of your chest, but what is going to change?

    The only time I’ve emailed an ex after he broke up with me was to say, “Hey, I still have your CD’s–I am dropping them in the mail today. You should have them by Tuesday.”

  5. Ladeeda says:

    Sheelzebub:
    I really don’t get the whole “email or call after your ex broke up with you” thing. I mean, you can get stuff of your chest, but what is going to change?

    The only time I’ve emailed an ex after he broke up with me was to say, “Hey, I still have your CD’s–I am dropping them in the mail today. You should have them by Tuesday.”

    27-year-old me knows this. 20-year-old me definitely did not. For some, that’s a skill that requires practice.

  6. LC says:

    Captain Awkward: Yo, that shit is tight. It’s classy, short, an APOLOGY-apology that doesn’t leave any room for “give me a chaaaaaaaance.” Good work, your friend!

    What Captain Awkward said. And, you know, this is the case. We waffle and make it worse, (I’ve been on both sides of that kind of breakup, as I suspect many of us have) so admitting that is solid and kind.

    And I think it is about getting stuff off your chest, and hopefully (all too rarely) getting some sense of acknowledgment that you were hurt. I’ve only ever ended up still friends with the exes who we took the time to acknowledge the hurt involved and not pretend the bad things never happened so we can claim we are being “good people” and “friends”.

  7. Soullite says:

    That isn’t classy. If it was classy, this lawyer friend never would have showed it to anyone but her ex-boyfriend. Having shown it to other people, she proves the real intention of this letter: to make her sound like the good guy; to alleviate guilt. That she shared it with a blogger she could be sure would report it proves that fact more than anything.

    Real apologies aren’t passed around for accolades, and they aren’t designed to close off any response. If you you truly feel you’ve done something wrong, then you say your piece, listen to whatever the aggrieved party has to say, and then you just walk away. If you’re the one in the wrong, you don’t have the right to the last word.

  8. Andie says:

    I don’t think they claimed it was a ‘real’ apology, just that it was one that left very little opening for waffling and that it was direct and succinct, while still validating the other party’s hurt feelers.

    I’d say that the letter itself is classy.. the act of sharing it, not so much. But meh, we don’t know what went on in the relationship.

    For all we know it IS a fake apology designed to get the dumpee off their back after being a douch-a-rama. And if so, good on her, this should get the job done.

  9. Anecdotal says:

    Hm, I think at first read this sounds like a pretty air tight apology. It’s well written, well rounded, impersonal but just personal enough, and acknowledges the other person’s feelings. Also, I think it gives a pretty honest explanation about how the letter writer feels. Gentle but firm. However, I have to agree with Soullite, to some degree, that getting in the last word might not be the kindest thing. Perhaps that wasn’t the intention since we don’t know the extenuating circumstances. I have mixed feelings about this one.

  10. Sarah Harper says:

    Cruelty doesn’t get much more artful than that.

    Congratulations.

  11. Sarah Harper:
    Cruelty doesn’t get much more artful than that.

    Congratulations.

    Why do you think a clean break-up is cruel?

  12. nas says:

    If the guy in question reads this blog post, he will probably feel humiliated. In that sense, it is not particularly classy. As far as tone, the cold formality would feel a little bit cutting, to me.

    I feel like at the end of a relationship, though, there is really nothing you can say that the other person wants to hear. At that point, I think it is best to just say nothing at all, or something along the lines of “what we had was great, I am really sorry I hurt you, you didn’t deserve it.” And then, radio silence..

  13. EG says:

    But nothing in this post indicates that what they had was great, that she is actually sorry she hurt him, or that she doesn’t want to cut him. The title of the post wasn’t “Classiest Breakup Letter Ever,” or “Kindest Breakup Letter Ever.” It was “Most Watertight Breakup Letter Ever.” And it is. There is not a cranny or a fingerhold for further reply or debate in that letter.

  14. She actually asked my advice on composing the letter, and sharing it with the public was my idea, not hers. When I asked if I could write a post about it, she worried a bit about the ethics of posting it to the internet and I said that if she concluded that the chances were too high that he would see it or be identified, then we could totally take it down, but that I figured the chances are pretty low, especially since he doesn’t read Feministe. Personally, my thought process was that it’s probably the single greatest breakup letter I’ve ever seen and I thought that it might help people out to see such a good example. Seriously. Breaking up sucks, and sometimes you just need a good example or two in order to do a good job at it.

  15. Miku says:

    You can be as logical and straight-forward as you want, but the response is always going to be confused, hurt, and quite possibly irrational. They broke someone’s heart (I’m assuming), they didn’t just scratch someone’s car…

  16. Tracy says:

    Most of the letter is great. But I disagree with this:

    “My hesitation had a lot to do with my concern about your feelings, and not wanting to make things even worse for you when you already had so much on your plate.”

    That’s the opposite of taking responsibility – it’s telling the other person that it’s his fault that the breakup wasn’t earlier/cleaner. It’s self-serving and reads designed to make the other person feel like crap (if he had been stronger/less busy/blah things, things wouldn’t have been strung out.) And without that sentence, it would read just as well and close things off cleanly.

  17. LC says:

    Tracy, I see your point, but I think that is somewhat mitigated by the next sentence basically saying that they were wrong to think that.

  18. Malienation says:

    When I asked if I could write a post about it, she worried a bit about the ethics of posting it to the internet and I said that if she concluded that the chances were too high that he would see it or be identified, then we could totally take it down, but that I figured the chances are pretty low, especially since he doesn’t read Feministe.

    The lack of identifiers isn’t relevant. Let’s say this letter was actually the cruelest letter ever, but the dumpee was not clearly identifiable. He is still entitled to be offended at the public exhibition at what for him is painful. Sure, he’s not going to have people pointing and laughing on the street…but he might get the online equivalent. Sound like something you want to silently endure?

    By the way, even if the letter was indeed the best breakup letter ever written, it’s only the best once. After that, it’s a lawyer’s form letter.

  19. Heather says:

    It’s awesome that you wrote this Clarrise and posted the break up letter here because I just broke up with my boyfriend and he is not taking it very well. I moved out and got my own place, but he came over this weekend and has been texting me all of his feelings ever since. All I want is to be left alone. Maybe I’ll use this, thanks.

  20. Why are people jumping all over Incipient Lawyer for this, when I’ve written dozens of posts in which I discuss my own experiences with breakups, relationships, etc. very clearly, and I haven’t gotten nearly the same backlash or accusations of being non-“classy” or “cruel”? I don’t get it.

    Also: her experience with the breakup is hers. HERS. She hasn’t publicly revealed any details whatsoever about what went down between them. Nothing he said, nothing about him. The chances that anyone will ever identify him based on this letter are nil. All she’s done is allow me to share, anonymously, something that SHE WROTE, that had everything to do with HER OWN EXPERIENCE, which I thought could be helpful for others.

  21. Or rather — I have gotten backlash, but it’s usually been from antifeminists who write posts with titles like “Another Sexually & Emotionally Defective Feminist”, not from other feminists.

  22. Kristen J. says:

    Its lawyer-hate. I.L. will have to learn to bear such things with good humor as nearly everything she produces will henceforth be critiqued through the lens of “all lawyers are evil scumbags.”

    It helps if you work for a while in BigLaw and learn that for the most part people are right. :)

  23. Well, I kinda played up the lawyer connection. And mea culpa, I do think it’s kinda funny.

    In all fairness though, there is NOTHING WRONG with wanting a watertight breakup letter. Sometimes what you need is to be kind but 100% firm. I say that as someone who both could have sent this letter, and could have received it. I had at least one breakup in the past year where my ex could definitely have sent me this letter and it would have been 100% legit, reasonable, and excellent.

  24. glitterary says:

    I don’t think this is particularly amazing. But I realise that the reason I think that this isn’t exceptional, or shouldn’t be, has a lot to do with my experience reading blogs/writing comments regarding social justice. A lot of the things the letter does (staying respectful, acknowledging fault, trying to provide clarity without making excuses) are things I learned to do myself/value in writing from interacting in the feminist blogosphere. So I’m surprised it merits a mention here, where I would have assumed those qualities would be in higher supply among the readership than in (for example) a random advice column.

  25. Malienation says:

    Perhaps I should clarify. I meant to say, “Let’s say, hypothetically, this letter was actually the cruelest letter ever…”. I was trying to drive home the point that in this hypothetical scenario, someone is likely to be hurt even if they are not likely to be identified. This letter might not seem offensive, per se, but that too is irrelevant. I ask again, in different form: do you want your business waving on some website’s flagpole for all to see? Still don’t mind? Okay, how about they post an unflattering nude photo of you with the head cropped off and invite readers to take their best shot. Still don’t mind, right? I mean, no one can identify you, so what’s the problem?

    The fact that you don’t see this letter as offensive isn’t the issue. It’s not meant for you or anyone other than the recipient to judge.

  26. T. Smythe says:

    I think that’s a dreadful example of a breakup letter. I think I’ve gotten the first sentence (which is beyond insincere) back in form e-mails from customer service departments.

    I’ll grant that it’s “watertight,” though, and probably effective as a brush-off.

  27. DoublyLinkedLists says:

    I was watching a movie in hebrew last night and there was a great exchange between two sisters.

    “I’m sorry that you were offended”
    “Sorry that I was offended or sorry you offended me?”
    “I’m sorry I was born. There is that good?”

    I don’t know, it felt relevant.

    But seriously (not seriously), Clarisse! What are you doing posting OTHER PEOPLE’S PRIVATE BUSINESS on the internet?! This guy might see this and feel bad! How would you like it if you were subject to an objectifying and threatening post about your body! Because that is totally analogous.

    In the end its not important what you think. It’s important what I think!

  28. zuzu says:

    Clarisse Thorn: Why are people jumping all over Incipient Lawyer for this, when I’ve written dozens of posts in which I discuss my own experiences with breakups, relationships, etc. very clearly, and I haven’t gotten nearly the same backlash or accusations of being non-”classy” or “cruel”? I don’t get it.

    I’m sure these people are shocked, shocked! at popular music.

  29. Tei Tetua says:

    “Inconclusion”?

    In conclusion, let me say that “indecision” is the right word.

  30. This is great. *copies and pastes into a document to refer to for later use*

  31. DouglasG says:

    Ms Sheelzebub, whom I applaud, recalls to mind someone who didn’t return several of my favourite books eighteen years ago. I just hope they ended up in good homes with people who appreciated them.

  32. Unree says:

    Clarisse, is what you shared the whole letter, or did a few personal words get edited out? As rendered, wow, it’s hella cold. The kind of form blowoff note you’d write to someone you really didn’t care about.

  33. Based on these comments, the original letter-writer has requested that the letter be removed.

  34. Kristen J. says:

    THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

  35. samanthab says:

    I haven’t seen the original letter, and I don’t care to, but I do find the notion that there should be some sort of gold standard for a break up letter to be fairly unhealthy. Do we really need for women to feel inadequate because they’ve broken up with someone with insufficient poise? Can’t we just let people find what’s right for them and their emotional state, imperfect or not? Does everything in our society have to have some constrictive norm attached to it?

    By the same token, I think the author absolutely shouldn’t take offense that her letter got such inconsistent reactions. This is rightfully highly personal terrain, and what works for you is what works for you. There is no one “nice thing” here, and I don’t think it’s all that feminist or empowering to suggest otherwise. It’s a totally fabulous thing to support your friend and validate where she’s coming from- but not so fabulous to implicitly invalidate women who don’t do break ups according to the “perfect” standard.

  36. Sheelzebub says:

    I must be the biggest bitch in the universe, because honestly, I think Clarisse’s friend didn’t have to respond to her ex at all, and I’m taken aback by these expectations that she be nice and coddle someone who isn’t fucking letting go. Holy fuck, people, I am dog tired of the idea that women owe men explanations and apologies for having the nerve to break up with them.

    People’s feelings change, and they end relationships. It sucks, I’ve been there. Life is hard. Move the fuck on already.

  37. TeiTetua says:

    I can’t agree with Sheelzebub. By putting it in terms of what women owe men, there’s a hint that men owe women something different, and I don’t think that ought to be true at all.

    But as an overall thing, I think if you seriously cared about someone in the first place, you’d be as kind and polite as possible if it ever came to a breakup. Telling them “Move the fuck on already” seems to say we both need to get on to the next unsatisfactory relationship, and then the one after that.

  38. debbie says:

    Sheelzebub: I must be the biggest bitch in the universe, because honestly, I think Clarisse’s friend didn’t have to respond to her ex at all, and I’m taken aback by these expectations that she be nice and coddle someone who isn’t fucking letting go. Holy fuck, people, I am dog tired of the idea that women owe men explanations and apologies for having the nerve to break up with them.

    People’s feelings change, and they end relationships. It sucks, I’ve been there. Life is hard. Move the fuck on already.

    Agreed. So many of these responses seemed to presume that women are responsible for taking care of everyone’s feelings, even when they are trying to end a relationship.

  39. Kristen J. says:

    From the desk of Kristen J., esq.

    Dude,

    We’re done. I know I may not have been clear before, so let me be clear now. We.are.done. Please find enclosed:

    [Itemized list of his shit]; and
    One pre-paid shipping label to be used to return any of my items that remain in your possession.

    There is no need to reimburse me for the cost of shipping your items.

    Best wishes,

    K.

  40. rox says:

    Just to sayClarisse has mentioned that she has been in the position of not handling a break up well, as hve I.

    Women can suck at handling break ups too.

    Which is why being kind to people who are handling a break up terribly can in fact be beneficial to women who struggle with it at times.

    Really in general, when human beings learn to be kinder to each other, no matter if it’s a man to a woman or a woman to a man or woman to woman or man to man or other genders— you get the point when human beings are kind to each other and recognize that life is hard and people sometimes struggle it is good for feminism.

    Maybe the problem is when some men don’t feel social responsability for the well being of others, and that instead of as women saying, “fuck everyone else I only care about myself and that’s the world I want to see, and that’s how men behve so I want to also!” we could instead maybe see that caring about the well being of yourself and others at the same time might be a good thing and that maybe we could encourage society to value realizing that men can and should do this as well as women.

  41. EG says:

    Sheelzebub: I must be the biggest bitch in the universe, because honestly, I think Clarisse’s friend didn’t have to respond to her ex at all, and I’m taken aback by these expectations that she be nice and coddle someone who isn’t fucking letting go.

    I could not agree more. Every so often over the past several years, an ex would email me. I happen to know that this ex likes to be friend with his ex-girlfriends (he kinda collects them), and that if/when an ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to be in touch, it upsets him. Nonetheless, it has never once occurred to me that I should email him back because of his feelings. Here are my feelings: we broke up. Done.

  42. Sheelzebub says:

    Yeah, women suck at handling break ups as well. And we’re told to suck it up and move on. And not for nothing, but I have zero sympathy for women who email or call or write to their exes to vent their spleens or demand explanations as to why. No good comes of it.

    Vent your spleen to your friends. Leave your ex alone.

    And frankly, I don’t think anyone in the world is obligated to continue to communicate with someone they’ve broken up with. Yes, show someone you’re breaking up with respect while you’re doing it. Don’t be a jerk about it. But once it’s done, it’s done, and it’s unreasonable and frankly entitled and creepy to expect them to continue to apologize to you, reassure you, and hover around you because you weren’t expecting it or your still hurt by it.

    When someone breaks up with me–or I them–it’s because either he or I didn’t want to have a continuing romantic relationship with the other person for whatever reason. Demanding they provide explanations, etc. is utter bullshit. It’s just another way to try and continue contact they’ve made clear they no longer want.

    And really? I don’t see what’s so cold or mean about ignoring an email from someone you broke up with. If she got raked over the coals by the peanut gallery here, I can imagine what her ex did and how he went off for being cold, for not being nice enough, for what the fuck ever.

    EG: Every so often over the past several years, an ex would email me. I happen to know that this ex likes to be friend with his ex-girlfriends (he kinda collects them), and that if/when an ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to be in touch, it upsets him.

    Ugh. I’ve had guys who’ve broken up with me (or who I’ve broken up with) want to be friends, and my response is always the same: Right now, it would be a little weird for me. There was one guy like yours who seemed to think that us being friends would help his Nice Guy cred–I finally snapped and asked him what the fuck part of “Being friends with you would be weird for me” didn’t he understand? Jesus. I will give you your wish and make myself scarce (break up with me and you’ll never see me or even hear my name again) but I will not be your buddy to validate your self-image.

  43. Andie says:

    Just a question.. for those that are saying that no one should be obligated to explain a breakup, are you speaking solely in the context of dating or do you believe this applies to a marriage/co-habitational situation as well?

  44. Sheelzebub says:

    Andie, the original letter was about a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, not marriage or cohabitation. I get rather stroppy with this whole OMG MARRIAGE rhetorical thing because I’ve seen it flung about far too many times. In other comment threads I’ve seen people cast aspersions on those who want to leave an unhappy relationship (before the marriage or moving in part) because ZOMG what would you do if this issue came up if you were married? VOWS. Except they aren’t married, and it’s a hell of a lot easier and less complicated to end a relationship that isn’t working for you before you marry them or move in with them.

    It would be nice if we all knew why a relationship didn’t work out. But with marriage or a cohabitation, one would think that both people would have some idea it was on the rocks for a while. That there were attempts to work things out. That the breakup wouldn’t be a complete surprise.

    But let’s say one person was caught completely blindsided. It happens, I know. First, both people would be in touch over splitting up their stuff, etc. So whether or not you want to have contact with the other person, there will be some to straighten that out (and if you have kids, there’s the co-parenting).

    But what is haranguing someone for an explanation you deem satisfactory going to do if they don’t want to discuss it? It’s shitty to be sure but it’s their prerogative. If someone dumps you with no explanation or warning–or if they just leave in the dead of night–do you really think you’re going to get any satisfaction if you demand an explanation? Do you really think that someone who’s capable of dumping you out of the blue with no warning is necessarily going to give you a straight answer?

    Having been harangued by an ex over my reasons for ending a relationship, reasons that he deemed Not Good Enough, it’s threatening and really fucking creepy.

    Also–the original letter alluded to the fact that she did explain why but he was still pissed and venting his spleen. Most people, when they break up, give a reason. I get hives over the idea of having to explain and justify reasons for breaking up (and apologize for breaking up) after I have broken up with someone and already gave reasons because a) I already gave him reasons b) it smacks of not accepting these reasons and negotiating/pushing boundaries and c) the spleen venting is misplaced. It sucks to be dumped. That doesn’t mean that the person who breaks up with you or me or the Nicest Guy In the World Ever We Swear is supposed to nurse our feelings through this.

    Like Heather upthread, when I broke up with boyfriends, I had my reasons. I get that they didn’t like it but the constant demands for contact and attention from two winners were tiring and after a while scary.

  45. Koga says:

    Women who want to break up and move on says its over and get on with life.

    Women who are needy stalkers who can’t just move on write these juvenile “break up letters”.

  46. Andie says:

    Okay thanks for the feedback. Usually I adhere to the ‘This is a discussion thread, not an advice forum’ but I wanted to get some feedback as to whether I’m justified in still being ‘really fucking pissed’ on occasion that I never got any explanation from the horses mouth, even though I long ago gave up on getting a straight answer on why the ex-hub walked without warning, which is why I asked about the marriage v dating context.

  47. groggette says:

    Noooo! I missed it :(

    I have a feeling I could have used a letter like this with the most recent ex (not that I would have worked, but it definitely couldn’t hurt) who hounded me again ang again for my reasons for breaking it off with him, sometimes just immediately after I explained why. And then repeatedly called me a bitch and asshole… followed promptly by begging for me back again and not wondering why that wasn’t a winning strategy for him. I even asked him one time why he still wanted to date me if I was obviously this huge monster in his eyes, and why I would want to date him, knowing he felt that way about me, and I only got confused silence in response.

  48. Unree says:

    Apologies if I was the last straw up there at #32. Although I do think the letter is/was hella cold (to repeat, I don’t know if we had the whole thing; a personal detail or two would have warmed it), hella cold could have been EXACTLY what was called for. Maybe even generous.

    Also, thirding EG and Sheelzebub that a dumpee is not entitled to reasons. Even for the end of a marriage or cohabitation, IMO. The trouble with a reason is that it’s not a GOOD reason when you’re at the receiving end.

  49. Mr. Kristen J. says:

    Dear Wife,

    If this is about putting your blue cashmere sweater in the dryer, please accept my apologies and a sincere promise to read the labels before washing your clothing. If I don’t hear from you, I will forward your things to the other half of the sofa.

    Yours with love,

    M.

  50. LotusBen says:

    People are so weird and complicated. If you want to see someone, see someone. If you don’t, don’t. And I don’t really understand why someone would want to see or talk to someone who doesn’t want to see or talk to them. Smacks of low self-esteem.

  51. Someone, please copy and paste the letter to me. I really want to see what all the talk is about. A man who keeps coming back, for explanations or whatever, is creepy. My response is to just not contact me. So, if this letter writer gets a person to stop contacting her, no matter if the letter is cruel, water-tight, cold, she has accomplished her goal. Men who do not accept a breakup signal a potential problem that could end in violence.

  52. Bloix says:

    “I am dog tired of the idea that women owe men explanations and apologies for having the nerve to break up with them.”

    Look, nobody owes anybody anything. Everyone has a perfect right to treat everyone else as an object to be used or not depending on his or her adaptability for any current purpose, and then to discard that person once his or her usefulness is at an end.

    Usually people who act like that are called assholes. If they’re really over the edge, we call them sociopaths.

    If you are dog-tired of the idea that other people are actually human beings and not objects, then go right ahead. Act like a dog.

  53. EG says:

    Unree: The trouble with a reason is that it’s not a GOOD reason when you’re at the receiving end.

    Exactly. I’ve been dumped. It sucks. At no point, when hearing my exes’ reasons, did I think “Oh, OK. That’s so true. He’s totally right to break up with me. I feel so much better.” Add to that the fact that the reasons given are not infrequently bullshit (“I’ve never thought of you as a lover, is the thing” my first serious boyfriend told me. “I’ve always thought of you more as a best friend.” “Oh, gee,” I later told him. “I guess I was just too blind to see that during the two years you were fucking me.“).

    Bloix: Everyone has a perfect right to treat everyone else as an object to be used or not depending on his or her adaptability for any current purpose, and then to discard that person once his or her usefulness is at an end.

    Yes, won’t somebody think of the epidemic of women not taking care of men’s feelings after they have broken up?

  54. Sheelzebub says:

    EG: Yes, won’t somebody think of the epidemic of women not taking care of men’s feelings after they have broken up?

    Jesus. This. Who knew that breaking up with someone you are not happy with is treating them as an object to be used?? Certainly, expecting someone who’s already been told that you’re not happy and want to end the relationship (and why you want to end the relationship) is not being unreasonable at all in launching angry communications and demands for further explanations as to why. It’s certainly not disrespectful of someone’s boundaries to try and continue contact they do not want by demanding yet more of their time after they’ve already broken up with you and told you why they want to do so.

    Really, Bloix? I’ve dealt with that creepy, threatening bullshit for far too long, and FUCK YOU and your shaming bullshit. I have every goddamn right to end a relationship, and I have every goddamn right to not spend another minute of my time on someone who refuses to let it the fuck go already and who demands MORE explanations and MORE apologies. Fuck that and FUCK YOU.

  55. Wow says:

    Sheelzebub, you have serious issues.

    Flip the genders around, and I bet you’d damn well be DEMANDING ANSWERS OMG from those “evil menz” who dared do something you didn’t want done.

    Feminism, the only place where what’s good for the goose isn’t good for the gander.

    Double standards abound.

  56. Bloix says:

    Oh, fuck me. Jill, would you please put me out of my misery and ban me already?

  57. Andie says:

    Wow: Flip the genders around, and I bet you’d damn well be DEMANDING ANSWERS OMG from those “evil menz” who dared do something you didn’t want done.

    Actually, having been around and seen many of her posts, I’m pretty sure Sheezlebub would tell a woman in the same situation to suck it up and move on as well. That’s pretty much what she told me, above.

  58. Sheelzebub says:

    Congratulations, Wow. You have won Most Likely To Drown In Straw as well as Clueless Troll of the Year. You have serious reading comprehension problems.

    Here’s what I said:

    Yeah, women suck at handling break ups as well. And we’re told to suck it up and move on. And not for nothing, but I have zero sympathy for women who email or call or write to their exes to vent their spleens or demand explanations as to why. No good comes of it.

    Vent your spleen to your friends. Leave your ex alone.

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