Do you ever feel like your skin has that unpleasant skin texture? Are you worried that your waist isn’t narrower than your head? Do you look at photos of yourself and think, “Oh, no, I look like myself!”? Have no fear–you stop looking like a human being and start looking like the walking incarnation of an unrealistic, unattainable beauty standard with Fotoshop by Adobe.
“This commercial isn’t real,” says faux-ad creator Jesse Rosten, “and neither are society’s standards of beauty.” (For the record, the whole “eat healthy and exercise” thing ain’t a slam-dunk either, Rosten. But your overall point is sound.)
VOICEOVER. Introducing the next revolution in beauty. Get ready to experience a whole new you.
REDHEADED MODEL: It’s you, perfected.
VO. Say goodbye to fine lines and wrinkles and hello to full lips, sparkling eyes, and lashes that never end. And that’s just the beginning.
Transform your look the way celebrities do with this beauty industry secret that’s now available for the first time ever.
Introducing Fotoshop by Adobe. Finally look the way you’ve always dreamed. The difference is clear. Just one application of Fotoshop can give you results so dramatic, they’re almost unreal…istic.
Use Healing Brush to target blemishes at their source by simply erasing them. Pro-pixel intensifying fauxtanical hydro-jargon microbead extract infused with nutritive volumizing technology will leave your face virtually unrecognizable.
REDHEAD. My skin feels like plastic!
VO. Take control of your color with Hue/Saturation. Use this breakthrough formula to change hair or skin color, brighten eyes, whiten teeth, or even adjust your race.
Tired of fighting with your shape? Wish you could be a total knockout? Dial in the perfect you with Liquify. Reshape your body without the expense–and mess–of surgery. Why eat healthy and exercise when you can just look like you do? And the best part is…
BOXING MODEL: It won’t rub off.
VO. The results don’t lie. Pictures like this are all Fotoshopped. The celebrity beauty secret used in virtually every major magazine is now available to you. You don’t have to rely on a healthy body image or self-respect anymore.
BRUNETTE MODEL: Now that’s the power of Fotoshop.
VO. There’s only one way to look like a real cover girl: Fotoshop by Adobe.
WHISPERY VOICE. Maybe she’s born with it.
VO. No, I’m pretty sure it’s Fotoshop.