Author: has written 5301 posts for this blog.

Jill began blogging for Feministe in 2005. She has since written as a weekly columnist for the Guardian newspaper and in April 2014 she was appointed as senior political writer for Cosmopolitan magazine.
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12 Responses

  1. schism
    schism January 20, 2012 at 3:37 pm |

    Sunspots were also involved. The Illuminati detonated a gamma wave emitter under the surface of the sun just as I was heading back to rescue all the passengers and the emissions caused a space-time distortion that moved the lifeboat directly underneath me and catapulted it towards the coastline. It’s kind of a miracle that I survived, honestly.

  2. schnei
    schnei January 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm |

    I… don’t get it?

  3. Kea
    Kea January 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm |

    The person in charge of organising people in a rescue situation, ie. the captain, is not supposed to (i) give up their lifejacket (rule 1 in rescue theory = make sure the rescuers are fairly safe) (ii) shrug their shoulders and stay in the boat when they could climb out. So even if he’s telling the truth, he’s an ignorant dweeb.

  4. Kathleen
    Kathleen January 20, 2012 at 4:04 pm |

    see also: how I tripped and my hand landed in this cookie jar and these cookie crumbs got on my face.

  5. benvolio
    benvolio January 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm |

    I’m still giggling over the headline on the NY Post (a paper I generally ignore, but their headline writers are often great) on this guy: Chicken of the Sea.

  6. Donna L
    Donna L January 20, 2012 at 4:56 pm |

    shrug their shoulders and stay in the [life]boat when they could climb out.

    Look. As he explained very clearly to the Coast Guard, it was dark out. How could he have found his way back onto the ship? Besides, as he also clearly explained, he was coordinating rescue efforts from inside the lifeboat. I don’t know what more he could have done.

  7. Kea
    Kea January 20, 2012 at 7:01 pm |

    How could he have found his way back onto the ship?

    Well, of course I can’t say. But if this is all true, why can he not explain himself better?

  8. Donna L
    Donna L January 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm |


    Kea, I sincerely hope you realize that my entire comment was intended sarcastically, based upon the captain’s own excuses, and don’t think I was actually saying what I believe. (OK, maybe I do that kind of thing too much, and overestimate people’s ability to read tone on the Internet.)

  9. Marksman2010
    Marksman2010 January 20, 2012 at 7:46 pm |

    This is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to the guy. He’ll have his own reality show soon.

  10. Manju
    Manju January 20, 2012 at 8:31 pm |

    He punched my fist with his face.

  11. j.
    j. January 21, 2012 at 8:58 am |

    “I was coming out of the bathtub, and I tripped and fell on this giant dildo that some scoundrel had placed on the bathroom floor, embedding it in my anus. No, really, doctor.”

  12. speedbudget
    speedbudget January 21, 2012 at 9:27 am |

    Million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.

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