Author: has written 5267 posts for this blog.

Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
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89 Responses

  1. outrageandsprinkles
    outrageandsprinkles January 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm |

    fuck-a-feminist was just too obvious for me, it was like he was reading from The Big Book of Anti-Woman Cliches. I had to go with Rivethead for multiple reasons:

    1. The repeated assertion that she packed multiple sex toys, despite no.
    2. The idea that she would somehow know for certain that people would see the toy in question.
    3. The idea that because a women has the NERVE to pack her own vibrator in her own bag, she deserves a beating. Quality human being.

  2. emandink
    emandink January 26, 2012 at 2:28 pm |

    It was close between nobody and Brian, but nobody’s casual racism won me over Brian’s worn out blame-the-mother fact “questioning”.

  3. JGirl
    JGirl January 26, 2012 at 2:43 pm |

    I had to go with Steve on this round. His comment is simple, straightforward and horrifying.

  4. Nahida
    Nahida January 26, 2012 at 2:44 pm |

    fuck-a-feminist

    LMFAO WTF.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  5. Nahida
    Nahida January 26, 2012 at 2:45 pm |

    Though I must admit, Steve’s comment was a close second.

  6. Andie
    Andie January 26, 2012 at 2:45 pm |

    F-A-F hands-down. It’s like he wrote the book on trolling and is following it to the letter.. complete with stupid pointless misspelling.

  7. Jadey
    Jadey January 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm |

    I’ve just got to go with the guy who sounds like a 1-800 number. Call me, BITCH. Who could resist?

    Jill, if it helps, I’ve actually gone a few weeks without thinking about your vag.

  8. Donna L
    Donna L January 26, 2012 at 2:51 pm |

    I also had to go with Steve’s comment; it was just so sublimely piquant.

  9. accalmie
    accalmie January 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm |

    I appreciate Brian’s “fatherless life”, but I have to go with Steve in the end, because holy crap…

  10. Laurie
    Laurie January 26, 2012 at 2:59 pm |

    Gotta go with fuck-a-feminist!!!!! Call me, bitch!

  11. William
    William January 26, 2012 at 3:01 pm |

    FAF gets my vote because he failed to leave a number for Jill to contact him at. Talk about missed connections here, we coulda been hearing wedding bells by now.

  12. igglanova
    igglanova January 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm |

    Totally Steve. His is almost innocently creepy.

  13. ginmar
    ginmar January 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm |

    I”m going for the dark horse, here, “nobody” because he manages to pack in so many dogwhistles. “Sista”—racism. “The new TSA”—-aw, implication of PCness and all kinds of other stuff. “That’s a woman’s handwriting”—-I bet he posted this after the TSA worker had been IDd already. Finally, diminishing it—”oh, it’s just a nod of approval.”

  14. Deborah Lipp
    Deborah Lipp January 26, 2012 at 3:09 pm |

    “fatherless life” FTW. Talk about left field!

  15. Shawn
    Shawn January 26, 2012 at 3:10 pm |

    Steve. Bet he works for the TSA.

  16. auditorydamage
    auditorydamage January 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm |

    Count me among the “fans” of f-a-f’s cry for love, attention, and personal phone calls. Steve’s succinct oversharing was a close #2, and Mr. Racial Prejudice took 3rd place.

  17. 10G
    10G January 26, 2012 at 3:48 pm |

    William–YES!! And you’d think if F-A-F’s package was THAT, um, “promising”, he’d be waving it up and down the street and on Youtube.

  18. Emolee
    Emolee January 26, 2012 at 4:03 pm |

    Steve, because I was not prepared for that comment, and I think he is serious.

  19. Anon21
    Anon21 January 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm |

    Brian, for implying that either Jill isn’t a feminist or that feminist isn’t a real thing. (I really enjoy silly scare quotes.)

  20. jrockford
    jrockford January 26, 2012 at 4:21 pm |

    Gotta go with ‘nobody’ on this one. Weird, “not really veiled” racism for the lose.

  21. annajcook
    annajcook January 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm |

    Mmm. fuck-a-feminist almost got my vote for the thoroughness with which s/he created the false email, but it was almost too blatant.

    In the end, I went with Steve for being short, stinky, and to the creep-tastic point.

  22. Suzanne B.
    Suzanne B. January 26, 2012 at 4:29 pm |

    Tough call, but I’m going to go with nobody. The racism, the rigid gender rules (every woman is identifiable by her feminine handwriting! IN PINK!)… so much packed into so little. And since this is FNTT, we’re looking for Potential for Growth. I think nobody’s got that “it” factor.
    Now to find out if he can smize.

  23. Computer Soldier Porygon
    Computer Soldier Porygon January 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm |

    Team Brian!

  24. Jjuliaava
    Jjuliaava January 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm |

    such difficult decisions! brian or fuq-a-feminist?
    brian because he obviously is projecting serious childhood issues
    FUQ because FAQ! And I think he wants Jill to call him a bad name? Nope, hands down it is FAQ and his big dick since he thinks people who want equality simply must be eh-hem “UGLY DRAG BULLDYKE BITCHES” and that is pretty creative like the various ways to spell fuck. Plus he is pissed off about dildos! HAHA!

  25. jennifer
    jennifer January 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm |

    Rivethead for suggestion of violence and suggestion that good girls don’t… FAF second place for the “bitch” remark–also, an ugly drag bulldyke bitch? WTF? Brian third for the air of superior dismissiveness.

  26. Jane
    Jane January 26, 2012 at 5:04 pm |

    Steve, because WTF, and WTF, and still WTF????

  27. number9
    number9 January 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm |

    FAF, because he can’t tell the difference between a dildo and a vibrator.

  28. Miku
    Miku January 26, 2012 at 5:48 pm |

    It must have been hard narrowing it down to five. That thread was full of the worst people imaginable. I voted for Brian because he’s the only one who questioned whether this was real or a set up.

  29. Miku
    Miku January 26, 2012 at 5:51 pm |

    @number9 TO BE FAIR, it wasn’t disclosed until later what the item in question was.

  30. Iam138
    Iam138 January 26, 2012 at 6:03 pm |

    I went with 3., Steve, because his was the most instantly laughable. To be fair, I thought Brian was good, and Fuck-a-Feminist was funny. But Steve was the best.

  31. Jo
    Jo January 26, 2012 at 6:12 pm |

    Oh god, these are hilarious in their stupidity… And they also make me feel bad for laughing at them. Must have been horrible, Jill, to have all that directed at you for something so harmless! *hugs*

  32. schnei
    schnei January 26, 2012 at 6:22 pm |

    yo, it’s all about nobody here. I mean we’re talking about the TSA, right???? high five.

  33. superior olive
    superior olive January 26, 2012 at 7:04 pm |

    Steve, definitely, yikes. He somehow manages to pack more creep in less than a dozen words than the rest combined. *shudder*

  34. SarahCost
    SarahCost January 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm |

    Absolutely Steve. Because when he sees himself on this list, he will probably have no.fucking.idea why that makes him a troll.

  35. Jamie
    Jamie January 26, 2012 at 7:14 pm |

    Team Brian, FTW.

    Also. I am so happy that this is a category.

  36. WitchWolf
    WitchWolf January 26, 2012 at 7:17 pm |

    fuck-a-feminist —

    Now that I touched that I have to go wash.

  37. Carolyn
    Carolyn January 26, 2012 at 7:18 pm |

    nobody, for the randomly inserted old-school racism that-pretends-not-to-be-because-really-they-like-black-people-because-they’re-so-cool (Sista, really? Does sie call all black men brothers, also?). But if I’d seen Fu*k-a-Feminist’s screenname before I voted, sie might have won.

  38. Esti
    Esti January 26, 2012 at 7:26 pm |

    F-A-F was trying way too hard for me. Brian wins by a mile for his fatherless life comment.

  39. Ledasmom
    Ledasmom January 26, 2012 at 7:31 pm |

    F-a-f for the fake email address, which reminds me of the ever classic “fuckme@myass.com”.

  40. valentifan69
    valentifan69 January 26, 2012 at 7:41 pm |

    So she was mortified that someone commented on her sex toys, and not at all mortified that she was dumb enough to pack sex toys that several people would see, comment or no!?

    This guy’s got a bit of a point. It’s gotta be a pretty crap job going through peoples bags and accidently finding dildos all day. Doubt the dude went to work in the morning thinking ‘today’s gonna be great, hope I run into loads of random women’s dildos’, gotta be fairly gross really. Not really nice being on the other end.

  41. Iris
    Iris January 26, 2012 at 7:42 pm |

    Gotta be # 3 Steve – eeuuww. I think he was serious.

  42. Li
    Li January 26, 2012 at 7:51 pm |

    Brian, because I’m a sucker for daddy issues.

  43. Greg
    Greg January 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm |

    I went with Steve ultimately. I felt like he was breaking new ground in trolling, while f-a-f (who was a close second for me) was going over well trod ground.

  44. William
    William January 26, 2012 at 8:43 pm |

    This guy’s got a bit of a point. It’s gotta be a pretty crap job going through peoples bags and accidently finding dildos all day. Doubt the dude went to work in the morning thinking ‘today’s gonna be great, hope I run into loads of random women’s dildos’, gotta be fairly gross really. Not really nice being on the other end.

    Yeah, I feel really bad that the guy who gets paid money to invade the privacy of others so that a lazy, paternalistic government can look busy might feel bad. It must really suck to be occasionally grossed out while oppressing people for no reason other than a paycheck. My heart weeps.

  45. Nahida
    Nahida January 26, 2012 at 8:54 pm |

    .cum

    .CUM people.

  46. soveryunhip
    soveryunhip January 26, 2012 at 9:02 pm |

    I went with the last guy, because of the over-the-top EW of it all, but it was difficult not to go with “nobody,” for the racism. It was just so special.

  47. igglanova
    igglanova January 26, 2012 at 9:04 pm |

    This guy’s got a bit of a point. It’s gotta be a pretty crap job going through peoples bags and accidently finding dildos all day. Doubt the dude went to work in the morning thinking ‘today’s gonna be great, hope I run into loads of random women’s dildos’, gotta be fairly gross really. Not really nice being on the other end.

    Yeah, we’re just inflicting our harmless private possessions on innocent service workers when we feel like taking them with us on a trip, as is our right. I’m sure that worker was compelled by an unseen force to leave an unprofessional note in Jill’s luggage after running into something no more disgusting than people’s dirty unders. (Actually, probably less disgusting, since I’m assuming the vibe would have at least been washed pretty thoroughly. …OK this is getting into some seriously creepy speculation about her personal life, I’ll stop right there.)

    I hope this doesn’t revive that exhausting did-not-even-read-the-article flame war, because life is just too damn short for that shit, you know?

  48. Vertigo
    Vertigo January 26, 2012 at 9:21 pm |

    Voted for Brian. The ‘fatherless’ line took me for surprise, and I like my trolls to to surprise me.

  49. Drew
    Drew January 26, 2012 at 9:38 pm |

    fuck-a-feminist

    LMFAO WTF.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Yes, this.

  50. Katherine
    Katherine January 26, 2012 at 10:06 pm |

    How could Fuck-A-Feminist not win this?

  51. librarygoose
    librarygoose January 26, 2012 at 10:15 pm |

    I voted Brian because FAF just seemed to be trying too hard. But I kinda wanna change my vote to #39 on this thread.

  52. Joedj
    Joedj January 26, 2012 at 10:42 pm |

    I just finished reading all of the comments and it made me wish that all of you were my daughters and grand daughters.

  53. SecondJen
    SecondJen January 26, 2012 at 11:05 pm |

    Brian for his “use” of quotation marks and pretending to be inside your mind… ooohhh….

  54. Amanda
    Amanda January 26, 2012 at 11:49 pm |

    Gotta go with Steve here; love the honesty.

  55. Comrade PhysioProf
    Comrade PhysioProf January 27, 2012 at 1:30 am |

    I voted for Brian, because his “your momma” was quite subtle: “she was extremely difficult to live with”.

  56. The Dormouse
    The Dormouse January 27, 2012 at 1:42 am |

    This was a hard choice. In the end I fear I went with the obvious answer but I stand by my choice. (Also, one time TSA stole my underwear which was weird.)

  57. The Dormouse
    The Dormouse January 27, 2012 at 1:44 am |

    .cum

    .CUM people.

    Also, I agree.

  58. Natalia
    Natalia January 27, 2012 at 2:49 am |

    Brian sounds like an entertainingly bitter creature.

  59. LotusBen
    LotusBen January 27, 2012 at 4:08 am |

    I voted for Brian. I appreciate his comment because it seems as though he wanted to bypass the standard, cliched insults and go for something more personal and close to home, without knowing whether he’d be right-on or not. He was going for the Hail Mary, either his comment would seem like ridiculous, unfounded speculation or it would hit a button, a weak spot.

    Brian. . .how convenient of you to be trolling on a feminist website. What’s your point? Still hoping to gain your older brother’s admiration? It must have been oh-so-hard how he was into football and you were into computer programming, and your grandparents who raised the both of you just always gave him favored treatment. But yeah, now you’re a “real man” Brian. Good job.

  60. NBarnes
    NBarnes January 27, 2012 at 4:19 am |

    I simply had to recognize the privileged TMI that Steve displayed. Not as hateful as FAF or racist as nobody, but… ewwww…. Steve just made my skin crawl.

  61. Alberthe
    Alberthe January 27, 2012 at 7:13 am |

    Close between Brian and Steve, but I feel Steve is in a creepy league all of his own, so he gets my vote.

    That didn’t sound right;)

  62. Kim
    Kim January 27, 2012 at 8:38 am |

    As a feminist who was not raised by her mother, but by her father (who did not identify as a feminist, or have the most feminist views in his life), I am going to have to with Brian. FAF comes in a close second but at least his lame stereotypes are something I have heard before.

  63. Past my expiration date
    Past my expiration date January 27, 2012 at 8:52 am |

    I voted for Brian because of his belief that just insulting Jill isn’t enough — he has to go on and insult her family, too.

  64. Wendy
    Wendy January 27, 2012 at 9:28 am |

    Had to go with Steve because ew.

  65. Sandy
    Sandy January 27, 2012 at 9:37 am |

    I voted yesterday and I can’t stop thinking about this choice. I was SO torn between fuck-a-feminist and Steve… and now I can’t remember which one I finally went with. They’re both so priceless. Fuck-a-feminist seems to be the more proper traditional messing-with-you-for-fun type troll, and he does it well. But Steve’s blithe creep factor is off the charts. They both made me lol.

  66. astronautgo
    astronautgo January 27, 2012 at 9:52 am |

    .cum

    .CUM people.

    That does have that soupçon of je-ne-sais-quoi, but Brian got my vote because he totally has the “feminists’” number. How conveeeeeenient for a “feminist” to get this note. Save your Confederate notes, boys, the female conspiracy’s “days” are “numbered!”

  67. Emolee
    Emolee January 27, 2012 at 10:15 am |

    This guy’s got a bit of a point. It’s gotta be a pretty crap job going through peoples bags and accidently finding dildos all day. Doubt the dude went to work in the morning thinking ‘today’s gonna be great, hope I run into loads of random women’s dildos’, gotta be fairly gross really. Not really nice being on the other end.

    It’s like a dream within a dream.

  68. Angie unduplicated
    Angie unduplicated January 27, 2012 at 10:18 am |

    F-A-F gets my vote. Bettin’ he’s a multitasker who went from this to claiming that Obama is the Antichrist, in his next comment. Also betting he has a one-inch dick, a six-foot bluff, and women wouldn’t touch him with the proverbial ten-foot pole.

  69. LB
    LB January 27, 2012 at 10:21 am |

    Steve, because he doesn’t have to seek out negative validation by trolling a feminist site with the same old rants. He’s just a creep without any pretense about it. Somewhere, he’s had access to some unfortunate woman’s home…

  70. Kristin A
    Kristin A January 27, 2012 at 10:29 am |

    FAF is trying too hard, unfunny, and I can’t believe they have any votes ??!

  71. Matt
    Matt January 27, 2012 at 11:16 am |

    “.cum” and “Call me, bitch.” are all great reasons to vote for FAF, but I especially like that he objectifies you and directly addresses you in the same clause of the sentence. Just the right amount of over the top.

  72. Eris
    Eris January 27, 2012 at 11:27 am |

    I can’t decide between Steve and Fuck-a-feminist. Steve is just making me laugh, because I don’t know what else to do when faced with a statement like that.

    But then there’s F-a-f, and his misspelling ‘fuck’ even though he already got it once in his username. Also for ‘call me, bitch.’

    Decisions, decisions.

  73. oldlady
    oldlady January 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm |

    Definitely Steve. But–couldn’t it be “a WOMAN and a vibrator walk onto a plane”? Guess it’s because I’m still fighting being called a girl–with white hair yet.

  74. valentifan69
    valentifan69 January 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm |

    It must really suck to be occasionally grossed out while oppressing people for no reason other than a paycheck. My heart weeps.

    Come on, no one thinks I really need to oppress those dirty fucking hippies – I know – I’ll get a low paid job looking through random bags at a airport, mwahhahahaha. And I don’t want to be too controversial, but I think might be a good idea to try and keep bombs off planes.

    Yeah, we’re just inflicting our harmless private possessions on innocent service workers when we feel like taking them with us on a trip, as is our right.

    Well you’ve got a right to shit in your luggage too, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea or would be nice for the guy looking through it. Just saying you’ve got to balance your rights with common decency to others, particularly service workers.

  75. Lolagirl
    Lolagirl January 27, 2012 at 7:13 pm |

    I voted for Brian, but now I’m rethinking that FaF should get the dubious distinction of biggest loser. Any guy who feels the need to mention his member and imply its ampleness on the internet is sure to be completely inadequate irl (yes, I went there.)

    I used to blog back in my infertility days and shut down shop in part because of the abusive and crazy trolls. Just when one thinks the depths have been plumbed there is always someone willing to come along and dispell that notion.

    Haters gotta hate, after all.

  76. Jjuliaava
    Jjuliaava January 27, 2012 at 9:41 pm |

    #73

    Well you’ve got a right to shit in your luggage too, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea or would be nice for the guy looking through it.

    Did ya not read the post directly above yours?
    #72

    Definitely Steve. But–couldn’t it be “a WOMAN and a vibrator walk onto a plane”? Guess it’s because I’m still fighting being called a girl–with white hair yet.

    Yo! Not all service workers are men.

  77. Jjuliaava
    Jjuliaava January 27, 2012 at 9:42 pm |

    GO FAF!

  78. igglanova
    igglanova January 27, 2012 at 11:18 pm |

    Boo fuckin’ who. No way am I depriving myself of orgasms, or unnecessarily inconveniencing myself by going to a fucking laundromat on the off chance that some busybody might be grossed out by activities that are so ordinary as to be bland and just plain boring.

  79. igglanova
    igglanova January 27, 2012 at 11:23 pm |

    I also find it weird that you think such overboard anticipation of others’ comfort before one’s own is at all balanced. Particularly because it is not a foregone conclusion that your luggage will be opened at all. So you’d advise anxiously squirreling away all evidence of being a living creature with ordinary body functions *just in case*? That seems like a very stressful way to lead a life.

  80. superior olive
    superior olive January 28, 2012 at 3:29 am |

    Well you’ve got a right to shit in your luggage too, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea or would be nice for the guy looking through it. Just saying you’ve got to balance your rights with common decency to others, particularly service workers.

    I’m trying to reconcile this line of thought coming from someone with the screenname “valentifan69″. Trying…nope, and failing.

    Decency? Really? That’s the arguement you’re going with? 0_o

  81. valentifan69
    valentifan69 January 28, 2012 at 3:42 pm |

    So I take it you never travel back home with dirty underwear in your bag? You do all your laundry on the very last day of your vacation so as to be decent, right?

    I do, but it depends on what state they’re in. It’s all about balancing my needs with other people’s needs. I would normally discretely fold and pack them in a seperate bag, so they’re isolated and people have warning. But that’s just normal used underwear, if I’d actually soiled myself I wouldn’t pack them. I just don’t think having poo in my luggage is a good idea or would be nice for anyone searching the bag.

    I’ve also got to say I’m not very comfortable with the personal questions and the way this conversation is going.

  82. outrageandsprinkles
    outrageandsprinkles January 28, 2012 at 4:01 pm |

    valentifan, while I’m no longer 8 years old I feel confident saying “you started it”. You did, after all, imply this was somehow Jill’s wrong-doing, which was already gone over for hundreds of comments in the original threads. People should be able to bring whatever personal items they want, and it’s silly to assume that your bag absolutely will be searched so you should leave anything at home that might send the message “I am a human being.”

  83. jorge
    jorge January 29, 2012 at 11:38 pm |

    I do, but it depends on what state they’re in. It’s all about balancing my needs with other people’s needs. I would normally discretely fold and pack them in a seperate bag, so they’re isolated and people have warning. But that’s just normal used underwear, if I’d actually soiled myself I wouldn’t pack them. I just don’t think having poo in my luggage is a good idea or would be nice for anyone searching the bag.

    So you’re equating a vibrator (presumably washed) with poo? Wise up, chum. A vibe is no dirtier than a toothbrush…

  84. LotusBen
    LotusBen January 30, 2012 at 12:22 am |

    Wow valentifan. . .so you think people should keep their suitcases in good order because the government has decided to search our luggage? WTF. Should I keep my apartment clean and stocked with Chardonnay so I’ll be ready to entertain the FBI when they come knocking on my door, too? Give me a break.

    Also, plenty of jobs are distateful. I used to wipe the ass of disabled people for a living. . .being a trash collector or sewer worker isn’t exactly aesthetically appealing either. If a person has a problem with what they might find as they’re getting paid to search people’s luggage, maybe they should get another job.

  85. LotusBen
    LotusBen January 30, 2012 at 12:28 am |

    And I don’t want to be too controversial, but I think might be a good idea to try and keep bombs off planes.

    Oh, but I almost forgot. TERRORISTS!!!!! Booga booga booga!!!

  86. astronautgo
    astronautgo January 30, 2012 at 9:49 am |

    I’ve also got to say I’m not very comfortable with the personal questions and the way this conversation is going.

    Holy crap, you’re meta-trolling the troll thread.

  87. Daisy
    Daisy January 31, 2012 at 6:02 pm |

    Is it possible that this is valentifan69′s audition for FNTT Season 9?

  88. Dahlia Jones
    Dahlia Jones February 6, 2012 at 6:07 am |

    F-A-F for the win.
    Call me. Bitch should be a meme. In fact, I think I’ll go make an image for it now and get back to you if that’s acceptable?

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