Author: has written 5265 posts for this blog.

Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
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77 Responses

  1. Marksman2010
    Marksman2010 February 1, 2012 at 10:05 am |

    Chris is the real winner here, hands down.

    People like this make me want to move into a tornado shelter…permanently.

  2. Nahida
    Nahida February 1, 2012 at 10:08 am |

    Snoozefest. I got halfway through the first and I was like Z_Z.

  3. Nahida
    Nahida February 1, 2012 at 10:08 am |

    “I studied the case.”

    LMFAO.

  4. mim
    mim February 1, 2012 at 10:11 am |

    Alex, because clearly the MRA butthurt shows best by summarizing his post as “what about teh menz?!?!?!?!??!”

  5. miga
    miga February 1, 2012 at 10:15 am |

    I must say this was a SPECTACULAR round, Jill. From what about the menz to beautiful soliloquies of rape apology to the foreshadowing that we’re going to be replaced in 20 years by passive Japanese fembots (extra racist sprinkling FTW!). I had a hard time choosing.

  6. schnei
    schnei February 1, 2012 at 10:18 am |

    These are fairly boring, but I voted for Jim for “Adult solution.”

  7. wasabi
    wasabi February 1, 2012 at 10:20 am |

    Wow! These guys are really something. I think Chris just for the all around level of hating going on, but it was certainly a tough call.

  8. annajcook
    annajcook February 1, 2012 at 10:23 am |

    Chris, for reaching the underpants-on-head quota for exclamation points, creative use of caps, $ signs, etc., and then ending it all with references to a loving God.

    Though both Alex and the truth hurts scored points for preemptively explaining all of the reasons that their own comments were inappropriate but then going on to submit a frigging wall-o-text into the ether, assuming it would never see the light of day. I wonder if that conviction of invisibility makes people more or less likely to display their unlovely, hateful colors?

  9. Jadey
    Jadey February 1, 2012 at 10:34 am |

    A, for overwhelming creepiness and a zip file of mystery. (Which I assume – and hope – was never opened.)

    Chris seems to be the favourite, but I still can’t bring myself to believe that a person who says, “I don’t like people who don’t stand for God bless America.”, actually exists outside of farcical comedy sketches, and I don’t want to be disabused of that comforting halo of ignorance.

  10. Katie
    Katie February 1, 2012 at 10:36 am |

    tl;dr

  11. Altarego
    Altarego February 1, 2012 at 10:44 am |

    Chris for “I’m not weird or anything.” LULZ

  12. unyun
    unyun February 1, 2012 at 10:49 am |

    It was a toss-up between the truth hurts (for being an arbiter of sexual assault “statistics”) and Chris (for his blatant bigotry). The part about Chris not liking anyone who hasn’t lived in Texas is almost too ridiculous not to laugh at. I mean, that guy is a real person. Also the fact that he doesn’t like minorities. WTF?

  13. Li
    Li February 1, 2012 at 10:53 am |

    As much as Chris is VERY trolling, I just can’t go past A’s attachment to zip files and vintage sitcoms.

  14. Past my expiration date
    Past my expiration date February 1, 2012 at 11:02 am |

    Is there no way to explain who the real feminists are in less than 150 words?

    I’m voting for A, because of the demanding regimen which is life with a devoted feminist, and also the zip file.

  15. accalmie
    accalmie February 1, 2012 at 11:03 am |

    Chris FTW!

    I would give my life for a Blue state and there have been nights when I have *literally* physically shaken with pride over the fact that this country has elected a republcan five out of the last seven presidential elections. Im not a weirdo or anything, it just makes me feel proud.

    …this is… pure gold.

  16. Deborah Lipp
    Deborah Lipp February 1, 2012 at 11:19 am |

    A.’s left turn into explaining why the solution is “Real Dolls” is too delightful.

  17. Sara
    Sara February 1, 2012 at 11:34 am |

    A actually took the time to create a zip file to go with his message, which is pretty absurd. Chris was trying too hard to offend.

  18. sabrina
    sabrina February 1, 2012 at 11:34 am |

    I think this needs to be named the wall o’ text round aka why feminism SuXXXXX.

    In all seriousness I voted for chris. Mr. I’m going to give you my position on every little thing and tell everyone that I assault people who aren’t exactly like me. Then I’m going to pretend that my fire and brimstone mythical creature in the sky is actually benevolent and loving.

  19. Alberthe
    Alberthe February 1, 2012 at 11:43 am |

    Why, why, why do they have to write so LONG? I’m exhausted.

    Chris can’t be for real, can he? It looks as if he’s trying to go over the top in order to make us laugh, but instead of going over, he just sort of hovers where no one can determine whether he is joking or not… What he did to his brother for wanting to buy a hybrid? Lolz.

    I think I’ll go with the sex bots. His concern is duly noted;)

  20. jrockford
    jrockford February 1, 2012 at 11:43 am |

    I wonder what it is that makes these particular comments so exceptionally long compared to most of the other entries we’ve seen.

    I have a few ideas.

  21. Anecdotal
    Anecdotal February 1, 2012 at 11:53 am |

    Chris, for taking the time to list all the people he doesn’t like, for his disclosure about hitting his neighbor in the face, verbally abusing his brother over buying a hybrid and for his assertion that he’s ‘not a weirdo or anything’. So awesome.

  22. jrockford
    jrockford February 1, 2012 at 11:58 am |

    Oh, and Chris. Because god, that’s the most hilariously, “Cool story, bro.” post ever.

  23. Tim
    Tim February 1, 2012 at 11:59 am |

    @ Jadey: A young man of my acquaintance joined the military. His parents were not thrilled with this, to understate the situation rather a lot, but did their best to be supportive because, well, he’s their kid. The military have a lot of “friends and family” events, mostly for family actually, with parades, drill exhibitions, etc. to keep everybody feeling all warm and fuzzy about things.

    At one of these, they played, in addition to the national anthem, GBA and also the Lee Greenwood “STAND UP” song. The dad stood for the first, but refused to for the other two while everybody else did. He was pretty much the only one of a couple hundred at this event who didn’t. The kid certainly doesn’t hate him for it; they have a pretty good relationship actually, but did make a point of asking his mom something like, “what was wrong with Dad; were his legs tired or something?”

    @ Jill: I haven’t voted for any of these yet — maybe my “might as well laugh as cry” function just isn’t working that well this morning because I couldn’t get much of a laugh out of these (not that this blog is here to make me laugh, not what I mean at all). They’re just icky and sad and kind of scary. I’m really sorry you have to get these. And I’m gathering that you must read them all? I hope that not too many are as long as these, at least. I had some idea of this stuff, but these kind of make it sink in. Maybe I will come back later and vote out of curiosity just to see the results. Hope I am not being too much of a downer; I get a lot of information out of the blog.

  24. groggette
    groggette February 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm |

    I had to vote for A since I’m a sucker for fembots and zip files, but I do wonder if “I’m no fly-by troll” Chris ever made another comment here.

  25. Dominique
    Dominique February 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm |

    I know Chris has a big, honking target on his back, but Jim… oh, Jim. Let’s take a look:

    “You’re a person with a vagina. You want to interact in a certain place with a certain people, deal with how those people are, or go somewhere else. You keep wanting the double standard in your favor, where there shouldn’t be one at all. Seriously, you need to grow up, realize the world isn’t roses, and stop making it an issue of sexism. You don’t want to be ridiculed or harassed on reddit? Don’t go there. Adult solution. … quit whining about how much of an asshole everyone else is. You’re an asshole too.”

    You want to be around teh menz? Well, of course we’re going to be assholes! That’s not a stereotype, sez Jim. That’s just “life”.

    Not sure about where the “double standard” is coming from, or what he’s referring to there, but it’s almost like this automatic I-have-to-say-this-cause-it’s-part-of-the-dogma thing.

    The world isn’t roses, ladies, you have to grow up… So no one in the world has the right to ask for a raise, or even ever hope to go beyond daddy’s career as a janitor. Because life is not roses and, therefore, it should not change.

    Don’t want to get harassed? Don’t go where the harassment is. Like here. Because I’m harassing you here as well. See how that works?

    If you “whine” about someone being an asshole, that makes YOU an asshole! Ta da! See how this works? Well, it works for me…

    So Jim may not be as over the top as Chris, but his arguments are classic, non?

  26. Tim
    Tim February 1, 2012 at 12:10 pm |

    OK, so I broke down right away and voted. I figured Chris would have it and he was pretty impressive with the nuttery, the examples of which everybody else has already mentioned. But I went for the truth hurts for the scientistic precision of the “1.16 to 1″ male to female rape victim statistic, that is, after he factored out prison rape. That, and knowing in advance that he would have 6 points against ANY point made about “modern female oppression.”

  27. Emolee
    Emolee February 1, 2012 at 12:14 pm |

    I had to vote for A for suggesting that we should be more like fictional women from the 50′s and 60′s. Also for implying that this should be an “aspect of feminism.”

    I always find it amusing when trolls try to scare us with the idea that our feminism will prevent us from landing a man. Oh no!!! I think I better be a little more like Donna Reed, or else I will be replaced by a fem-bot and miss the opportunity to be with that wonderful guy who would obviously see and value me as a person… oh, wait.

    Although, second place goes to Chris:

    I don’t like people who don’t spend at least a fair portion of their life in Texas, and the rest of the South. I don’t like N.O.W. … I don’t like the ACLU … I’m a proud card-carrying member of the NRA. I hit my neighbor in the face

    Wow.

  28. outrageandsprinkles
    outrageandsprinkles February 1, 2012 at 12:24 pm |

    I honestly just stopped and voted for Alex after he quoted The Amazing Atheist (and then said the quote wasn’t true. Then why quote it?)

  29. number9
    number9 February 1, 2012 at 12:25 pm |

    Chris, hands down, and this was a pretty impressive round! His random capslock shouting made it so much easier to read than his fellow trolls’ tl;dr block paragraphs of doom. Once you add points for the random violence, his assertion that he’s not a troll, and the way he stuck the landing with his “one love, y’all!” proclamation after raging about liberals for a million paragraphs, you get a clear winner.

  30. shay
    shay February 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm |

    ugh. Mental illness isn’t all that amusing. At least three of these folks need to be medicated. I picked Chris because he’s such a hater, and because I can’t get over the fact that he literally shakes with pride sometimes when he thinks of republican presidents. Yikes. Which begs the question how does you reconcile that with hating people from Texas?

  31. Wiley
    Wiley February 1, 2012 at 12:35 pm |

    I. Freaking. Love. The guy who was obsessed with Real Dolls and sitcoms.

    FOR THE WIN.

    Everyone else: tl;dr

  32. igglanova
    igglanova February 1, 2012 at 12:37 pm |

    ‘I am a man; white, tall and, according to my Mom, affable and near-genius.’ A wins on that alone.

  33. shay
    shay February 1, 2012 at 12:40 pm |

    oops misread Chris. He doesn’t like people who don’t spend time in Texas… okay. Makes more sense.

  34. konkonsn
    konkonsn February 1, 2012 at 12:41 pm |

    I was going to vote for Chris, but then he started going into the violence against other people for their views, and it stopped being funny real fast.

  35. Donna L
    Donna L February 1, 2012 at 12:45 pm |

    A. No question, the winner.

  36. Amanda
    Amanda February 1, 2012 at 12:50 pm |

    To Chris, for textbook mansplanation-harassment-rapethreats: “I spent three hours yesterday explaining to my neighbor (shes 23, lives alone and is one SWEET piece, let me tell ya, lol) why she BETTER be in favor of Tort Reform or she and I would be having a little talk[.]”

    But he’s not weird or anything. And his ENTIRE congregation is VERY SIMILAR to him.

    Shudder.

  37. Shawn
    Shawn February 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm |

    Yikes. Difficult choice, here, but “A”, because he reminds me so much of the menfolks in the original “Stepford Wives” movie.

    These guys (sic) are kinda….different. Just think, they are likely standing in the grocery line next to you. Or living next door.

    Canada looks better every day.

  38. AndrewJenny
    AndrewJenny February 1, 2012 at 1:17 pm |

    “Equality is one of those things that, funnily enough, needs input from EVERYBODY, even the ones with privilege.”

    Translation: People with privilege have to agree that it’s in their best interests to give up their privilege before we can ever have real equality. Because, you know, ALL OF RECORDED HISTORY tells us that those with privilege just aren’t aware of it, and when you point it out they let it go WITHOUT ANY FUSS AT ALL.

  39. LC
    LC February 1, 2012 at 1:22 pm |

    This is a tremendous round, but I’m bucking the trend and going with Alex for the very careful explanation of why we’re alienating allies, in wall of text form, because it is just almost-reasonable enough to slip in, but then he throws the gloriously self-aware bingo card reference.

    But really, I’m happy with just about any winner out of this round, and think they are a shoo-in for the finals.

  40. Argenti Aertheri
    Argenti Aertheri February 1, 2012 at 1:23 pm |

    Chris, for the same reasons as Amanda, plus that note at the end about how he’s *not* the type we need to fear.

  41. Honesty, Privacy, Blogging, and My Book | HitchDied

    [...] remains for some great examples of mansplaining).  I KNEW that would be the case, because well, I read feminist blogs, but I didn’t expect it to be so demoralizing.  It’s the primary reason that blog [...]

  42. Natalia
    Natalia February 1, 2012 at 1:41 pm |

    To borrow the punctuation style of another top troll contender:

    Chris. Is. Epic.

  43. Anon21
    Anon21 February 1, 2012 at 1:54 pm |

    So, I just didn’t buy that Chris was for real. Maybe this is just me protecting my sanity, but I have to believe he was just an exaggerated caricature of a violent, intolerant, right-wing asshole. So, no vote for him.

    A. seemed pathetically, bizarrely sincere about his robot wives for everyone spiel, so he gets my vote.

  44. Emolee
    Emolee February 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm |

    I just didn’t buy that Chris was for real. Maybe this is just me protecting my sanity, but I have to believe he was just an exaggerated caricature of a violent, intolerant, right-wing asshole.

    I thought that, too, at first. Especially when he followed his hate for non-Texans and the ACLU and support for the NRA with a tale about assaulting his neighbor. I actually laughed when I read “I hit my neighbor in the face,” then immediately felt bad because I began to think he actually was serious. Shudder.

  45. rhian
    rhian February 1, 2012 at 2:42 pm |

    A, because I really enjoyed the incongruence of his organized and calm writing style with his bizarre threats that men will leave us all for Lucy Ricardo and real dolls.

  46. Mattapan Trolley
    Mattapan Trolley February 1, 2012 at 2:46 pm |

    “Many have gone overseas to find wives.”

    haha classic.

  47. Nell
    Nell February 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm |

    A: the tall, white, affable dude, whose genius apparently does not extend to recognition of his overwhelming sense of entitlement to a fun, smart mate whose purpose in life is to bring him peace and joy.

    Bonus points for the mention of those madcap ladies of 50′s/60′s sitcoms. Donna Stone, June Cleaver, Harriet Nelson, and Margaret Anderson were probably smart enough, but just didn’t bring sufficient entertainment value into the lives of their deserving husbands.

    And Northampton. Yeah, definite points for Northampton.

    As for the rest of this week’s contestants, thanks for playing, but I’ve heard it all before. Ho hum.

  48. shfree
    shfree February 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm |

    There was too much wall of text for me to really choose. I think I’m just going to have to go with A, just because it was first, and I’m feeling lazy that way.

  49. DoublyLinkedLists
    DoublyLinkedLists February 1, 2012 at 3:57 pm |

    Chris, because his comment made me feel actual fear. Especially for the neighbor.

  50. SecondJen
    SecondJen February 1, 2012 at 4:16 pm |

    A, totally wielding the threat of a wave of men abandoning us for imaginary sitcom women and Japanese robots. After reading all that, I could go for a Japanese robot myself, right about now.

  51. Daisy
    Daisy February 1, 2012 at 4:17 pm |

    Like Amanda and DoublyLinkedLists, I went for Chris because he just had to throw in the part about educating his neighbor on tort reform – and oh yeah, she’s a hot 23-year-old – and she better agree with me or I wil MAKE HER AGREE.

    Which makes me wonder if this is the same neighbor he hit in the face when the Republicans took the midterms in 2010.

    I also agree with Tim. These were particularly ugly.

  52. Brennan
    Brennan February 1, 2012 at 4:59 pm |

    @ shay

    You know what else isn’t all that amusing? Ableism. (Well, okay, it’s a *little* amusing, but only in a “let’s mock Chris mercilessly” kind of way.) Just like having a mental illness=/=being untrustworthy, trolling/spewing nonsensical hate/generally being an asshole=/=having a mental illness.

  53. Comrade PhysioProf
    Comrade PhysioProf February 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm |

    I voted for “according to my Mom, [I'm] affable and near-genius”, but “I hit my neighbor in the face” was very, very close.

  54. Jadey
    Jadey February 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm |

    These guys (sic) are kinda….different. Just think, they are likely standing in the grocery line next to you. Or living next door.

    Canada looks better every day.

    Trust me, we grow them like that up here too.

  55. LotusBen
    LotusBen February 1, 2012 at 6:32 pm |

    I also voted for Chris. . .it was an easy call. One of the most impressive instances of trolling I’ve ever seen. I’m awestruck–a true work of art.

    I agree that he most definitely is not for real. Who says “I don’t like minorities”? I mean–at least from what I’ve seen–racists don’t talk that way, and non-racists certainly don’t talk that way either. And as someone who lives in the Lone Star State, people here may be a bit colorful, but not so colorful as to say that they don’t like “people who don’t spend at least a fair portion of their life in Texas.”

    Then again, my whole life I’ve run into people who’ve said things in earnest that were so outlandish that the only time I had heard them before was on The Colbert Report (or something similar). So I could be wrong. *shudder*

  56. Chase
    Chase February 1, 2012 at 6:52 pm |

    Chris: “[T]his country has elected a republcan five out of the last seven presidential elections.”

    This only works if he starts with Reagan and doesn’t count the last election. I can’t imagine why he would do that.

  57. AnotherTracey
    AnotherTracey February 1, 2012 at 7:00 pm |

    Wow, quite a selection here … looks like Chris is a shoo-in with his vague threats and list of ’101 things I don’t like’.

    BUT … Alex does it for me with his ‘drop everything and educate me NOW’ sook. His awareness of FAQ issues like derailing and bingo suggest he’s been around, so his monumental failure to get-a-clue is even more amusing.

    Jim is just nasty in a very cliched way.

  58. LC
    LC February 1, 2012 at 7:25 pm |

    Re: Canada

    Trust me, we grow them like that up here too.

    Yes, yes we do.

    Sadly.

  59. santossangre
    santossangre February 1, 2012 at 7:36 pm |

    A vote for the truth hurts. His skewed statistics on rape. Equating rape to a robbery. Mention of the Bobbit case. Really? However, my personal favorite was “My mother was a feminist back when it meant something.” Mom must be so proud.

  60. tigtog
    tigtog February 1, 2012 at 8:16 pm |

    have to go with the first one

    hyperlinks to faceless, condescending websites

    Hey, that’s my faceless, condescending website, mate!

  61. DouglasG
    DouglasG February 1, 2012 at 8:37 pm |

    I miss Pandora Spocks.

  62. Angie unduplicated
    Angie unduplicated February 1, 2012 at 9:33 pm |

    Chris is classic trollery, with his litany of dislikes justified by a god of love. A’s a close second, though, with his unashamed insistence that his women be scripted 50s actresses. As for overseas wives, we redneck gals describe it accurately: offshoring junk males.

  63. Iam138
    Iam138 February 1, 2012 at 9:50 pm |

    This one was just torture, so I didn’t vote at all. Can’t they just say what they need to in one pithy sentence?

    o wonder their moms don’t call them up to the kitchen for their lunch until the Elio’s pizza is out of the oven. Eleven minutes of this, and they would shoot themselves.

  64. Reznicek111
    Reznicek111 February 1, 2012 at 10:23 pm |

    While not as over-the-top as many of the other FNTT entries, “Jim”‘s entry highlights just how pervasive, banal, and toxicity everyday misogyny really is and takes it to its core:

    You’re a person with a vagina. You want to interact in a certain place with a certain people, deal with how those people are, or go somewhere else.

    Substitute the words “brown/black/yellow/red skin,” “a wheelchair,” “elderly,” or any number of other characteristics, and see how those words roll out to their logical conclusion.

  65. Vertigo
    Vertigo February 1, 2012 at 11:07 pm |

    Voted for Chris… had a good laugh when he said ‘Please do not remove my post. I am not trolling.’

  66. Pidgey
    Pidgey February 2, 2012 at 8:11 am |

    I voted for Alex. He just sounds so earnest compared to these other trolls. I imagine myself giggling sadistically as I tear apart his worldview. My favorite quote of his is “Do not ostracise your next greatest ally.” Don’t we know that he could solve all our problems if only we’d listen to him? By not catering to his entitlement we are dooming ourselves! For clearly a man who can’t even be bothered to read up on the basics could potentially lead Feminists to victory!

  67. Maria
    Maria February 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm |

    Does anyone have a theory for why these entries were all so long?

    I went with Alex for Japanese fembot wives and .zip files.

  68. Ashleigh
    Ashleigh February 2, 2012 at 2:49 pm |

    Not that I’m super happy with all that Alex says, he does have a legitimate point. A great deal of feminism does create more and more boundaries between men and women and does not make a strong enough effort to include men in the discussion. The patriarchal system on the whole benefits men but, as bell hooks explain in “Feminism is for Everybody,” not all men are on board with this system. We do need to make allies and not enemies of the men willing to listen and be engaged in establishing better social equality.

  69. iiii
    iiii February 2, 2012 at 3:22 pm |

    Oh, look! A herd of teal deer!

    Seriously, could not penetrate the walls of text. Maybe next round…

  70. Mark
    Mark February 2, 2012 at 3:43 pm |

    Oh my… this is a treasure trove. Thanks to Jill for stockpiling these winners in a suitable lead-lined toxic waste disposal facility until it was time to unearth them once again. I will just cut and paste some of the lines I found to be the best.

    “The download link below is for a simple compressed “zip” file, a folder within which are eight photographs.” (creeptastic line of the year)

    “I am a man; white, tall and, according to my Mom, affable and near-genius. ” (according to his mom!)

    “…Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy), Samantha Stevens (Bewitched) or Laura Petrie (The Dick Van Dyke Show), to try some recognizable figures. These women brought peace and joy into the lives of their families.” (Lucy brought “peace” into her home??? Has he ever watched an episode? He’s got some SPLAININ to do!)

    “[Realdolls are] a growing, need-based phenomenon, not some pastime of fringe trenchcoat wearers (except for me, perhaps).” (Well points for honesty for that last bit I guess)

    “Jamie Leigh Jones DOES, however, have a history of being sexually active BEFORE being married and a history of LYING.” (Pearls being clutched… NOW! Seriously, if all women are to be virgins until marriage, someone please explain to me who all the men are supposed to be fucking. Hmmm…)

    “they would know that there is about a 2:1 ratio of men getting raped to women. Take out the prison rape scene and it is still a 1.16:1 ratio of men getting raped to women THAT WE KNOW OF.” (Internet statistics FTW!)

    “I will be doing an AMA about chauvinism on the 20th of October on reddit.com” (An MRA? On reddit? surprise me some more!)

    Thank you for the lulz today.

  71. DragonBreath
    DragonBreath February 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm |

    Chris for reminding me of two male relatives, yes guys like him are real and for all the reasons already given. What is a teal deer?

  72. librarygoose
    librarygoose February 2, 2012 at 6:13 pm |

    it comes from the tl;dr (too long; didn’t read) or t eal deer.

  73. Mztress
    Mztress February 2, 2012 at 6:47 pm |

    You know what I am voting for? The option of rolling my eyes at crybaby men who throw tantrums and act as if their precious balls are getting cut off whenever women want a bit of equality, accountability, or a bit of punishment for any who perpetrate violence against women.

    They talk about what *real* men they are, but all I can envision is a spoiled two year old kicking and screaming after being denied something.

    #getoverit

  74. j.
    j. February 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm |

    Thank you for your concern, Ashleigh.

  75. wriggles
    wriggles February 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm |

    You can not discuss one gender without discussing the other.

    Prezactly. And let’s hear it for liberation, screw equality.

  76. wriggles
    wriggles February 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm |

    I should add that I would say sex, not gender.

  77. Sarah Harper
    Sarah Harper February 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm |

    I very nearly went with A. I love the way he starts out affably self-deprecating and mentioning his daughter (who, if she’s anything like him, I SINCERELY hope I never meet), then goes on to saying that, since due to evil feminism most women no longer act like 50s sitcom characters (Mark said it best when he said: “Lucy brought ‘peace’ into her home??? Has he ever watched an episode? He’s got some SPLAININ to do!”), the men have no choice but to replace them with Japanese fembots.

    But Chris… he won it, in the end, for his killer punchline. After spending a long, horrifying post:

    1) bragging about hitting his neighbor in the face because of 2010 election results
    2) implying that he beat up his younger brother for thinking about buying a hybrid
    3) implying future violence towards his neighbor (not sure if it’s the same neighbor, or another one) if she is not in favor of tort reform (possibly sexual violence, as he takes care to say she’s “23, lives alone and is one SWEET piece”)

    Chris then says he is, quote: “not the type of American citizen you need to be afraid of”.

    Guys like this are the exact reason I do martial arts.

    PS @shay: please don’t tell people they “need to be medicated”. I have been, by force. It hurt.

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