Ah, the kindness of pro-lifers: [trigger warning]
My Dark-Haired Daughter, who suffers from bipolar disorder and limited cognitive abilities, went missing last Monday. For more than 48 hours, we had no idea where she was. Without all the gruesome details, after she was found, it came to light that she’d been brutally and repeatedly sexually assaulted. She’d been taken to the local women’s shelter, where (at least in our area) they do the exams in such cases.
The nurse told me the antibiotics she’d administered, that we’d need to wait some time for HIV testing, and then handed me a box – Plan B, and told me we had 24 hours to use it.
So there it was. The whole moral conundrum of abortion in a little green box in my hand.
But Plan B is a whole other thing, isn’t it? It’s about taking the life of an innocent child. (Click here to find out more about Plan B’s abortifacient properties.)
Don’t think I didn’t think about it. Don’t think that I didn’t want to grab a cup of cool water, hold it to my precious daughter’s lips and say, “Here; take this.” Don’t think I didn’t want to never even think of the possibility that pregnancy would result (and still may). Don’t think I didn’t want to spare my daughter the burdens of dealing with a pregnancy from these circumstances.
But I shoved that green box in my bag. It’s still there… unopened.
I know many, many people – some who call me friend – will think this is a monstrous decision. I should have just had her swallow the pill and never looked back. There – done. One less thing to worry about.
My daughter, though, you see, is adopted. For all I know, she herself is the product of rape. Her birth mom was known to prostitute herself, and for women in that life, rape is common.
And even if this wasn’t the case, what child deserves to die due to a parent’s sins and brutality? Taking an innocent life is wrong – I know it, and every genuinely honest person on the face of the earth knows it.
But I thought about it. God help me, I thought about it.
Despite my desire to murder, despite my desire to never think about the possibility of pregnancy, despite the burden of this whole experience: I am pro-life.
So, look. I’m not suggesting that taking EC is the only right decision after being sexually assaulted. There’s no one “right” response to assault. But the choice in how to respond should rest in the hands of the victim. Where is the young woman in all of this? The blog post says she has some cognitive disabilities, and a later interview specifies that she functions at a level of about an eight-to-ten-year-old. But as far as I can tell, no one even asked her opinion. No one accurately explained the situation — that is, explained what Plan B actually does, which isn’t abortion — and let her have a say. If she was incapable to deciding for herself, it doesn’t even sound like anyone sat down and thought, “What is in her best interests here?” Her mother just single-handedly decided, based on religiously-motivated pseudo-science, that her already-traumatized daughter could not have Plan B, and if the rape resulted in a pregnancy, would be forced to undergo a pregnancy against her will. And mom wrote about it on the internet for a bunch of anti-choice sycophants who think a fertilized egg is a person deserving of full rights and privileges, but a rape victim isn’t — especially if she has disabilities.