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Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
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51 Responses

  1. Lweydd
    Lweydd February 6, 2012 at 12:15 pm |

    My vote is for Mir Losen because, holy shit, the woman was gang raped and he suggests she just doesn’t like hugs. Holy crap, Egypt, that’s freedom! Burqas and gang rape! Yay!

  2. Nahida
    Nahida February 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm |

    Wtf is Mir Losen talking about? Is he referring to the reporter who was assaulted?

    I wish American men could get theirs.

    …..the fuck.

  3. Brennan
    Brennan February 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm |

    Well, I’m just so *terribly* sorry that we got a little social justice in your pink, Princess, but if you don’t at least learn the correct spelling of “Feminazi,” you’ll never be taken seriously as a big bad troll like your hubby.

  4. Andie
    Andie February 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm |

    Unapologetic, for invoking Nirvana ironically, given KC’s vaguely feminist leanings.

  5. Bridget
    Bridget February 6, 2012 at 12:35 pm |

    Had to go with Princess Pi because of the cat thing.

  6. Mztress
    Mztress February 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm |

    Perhaps if you could find the clitoris–which is centrally located–I wouldn’t need a sex toy.

  7. Mztress
    Mztress February 6, 2012 at 12:38 pm |

    Had no choice but to vote for #1. The others were so outrageously stupid & twisted that I could not understand wtf they were talking about…

  8. altarego
    altarego February 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm |

    Princess Pi because “not to bright.” I’m a grammar nazi as well as a feminazi.

  9. Jen
    Jen February 6, 2012 at 1:06 pm |

    Had to go with Princess Pi, “Just saying.” Though, quoting Nirvana is always appreciated.

  10. Tumpp
    Tumpp February 6, 2012 at 1:08 pm |

    Unapologetic is really hilarious, but I don’t know why xD

  11. Sera
    Sera February 6, 2012 at 1:10 pm |

    NOO! Damn John with his stupid 5 word comment. (As I’ve stated before, I vowed to vote for the most succinct troll.)

    Be that as it may, he has NO chance of going on to the next round – not up against Princess Pi the PINK CRUSADER OF PINK PRETTINESS!!1!!

    (Bonus points also go to PUA for putting an awesome song in my head.)

  12. Jadey
    Jadey February 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm |

    Honorable mention: Mir Losen

    Another recent incident was a female news anchor mocking..on live TV about her male co-hosts genitalia size..once again had that been a man doing that he would be fired and eight balled from the news industry for life.

    The relative proximity of these statements made me assume he was referring to someone with eight testicles.

    Runner-up: Unapologetic PUA

    So in the words of Kurt Cobain, “Here I am now, entertain me”

    Oh punctuation, you fickle mistress.

    WINNER: Princess Pi

    I like anyone who implies that feminism has a central membership roster and a candidate vetting process, which clearly has set its standards for entry too low.

    Also, because I can actually use her comment to respond to her comment (and, really, all of these trolls):

    a few courses in effective speaking and charm might help, too. Just saying.

    Truer words, guys. Truer words.

  13. Jadey
    Jadey February 6, 2012 at 1:22 pm |

    Perhaps if you could find the clitoris–which is centrally located–I wouldn’t need a sex toy.

    Usually, maybe. Mine hangs to the left. :D

  14. ShanBonan
    ShanBonan February 6, 2012 at 1:35 pm |

    I had to go with Princess Pi for the comment about being not “to” bright. For obvious reasons. And because Princess thinks feminists need courses in charm, clearly being a charming person herself.

  15. annajcook
    annajcook February 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm |

    Princess Pi. For assuming some random woman she saw on television talking feminism was “one of your members.” Shit, we keep membership rolls! Why was I not informed?!

    Also for the body/appearance shaming and total incoherence.

  16. LC
    LC February 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm |

    So torn. Princess Pi just edges out unapologetic PUA just due to being more interesting to read. Both excellent old-school trolling of just casually explaining things that are going to provoke reactions.

  17. Esti
    Esti February 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm |

    Princess Pi wins by a mile for unironically declaring someone to be “not to bright”.

  18. AndrewJenny
    AndrewJenny February 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm |

    “To some extent, we even care about how you feel because, well, repeat fucks are usually a lot better than one night stands. But caring about you is not the point. ”

    Glad you cleared that up, I was confused for a bit.

    “I think your problem is, especially with the pro-death stance, that you cannot get a man in the first place for you to have to make that choice. My husband always says WHAT was that thing? Yes, thing.”

    ???????

  19. number9
    number9 February 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm |

    Princess Pi. The passive-aggressive “just saying” really did it for her!

  20. Cat
    Cat February 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm |

    Princess Pi, because pink, and cats, and her assumption that us “feminatizis” all desperately want “a man” – presumably like hers. *shudder*

  21. Emolee
    Emolee February 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm |

    Princess Pi, because she is

    not to bright

  22. Donna
    Donna February 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm |

    I’m torn between Princess Pi (for making numerous spelling errors in her assertion that feminists are not only apparently ugly, but also “not to bright [sic]“. Also for entertaining the notion that cats give a crap about what people look like) and Unapologetic PUA (for the embarrassing Kurt Cobain misquote which would almost certainly make Kurt Cobain roll over in his grave if such a thing were possible. And not just because he changed a few pronouns and stripped the phrase of its original context entirely).

  23. Tim
    Tim February 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm |

    Princess Pi for knowing why her cats were leaving the room. Mine are always doing that and I can never figure out why.

  24. Deborah Lipp
    Deborah Lipp February 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm |

    There is something great about how “Unapologetic PUA” is so…apologetic…about PUA. I mean, if it wasn’t for the username, I would have voted for Princess Pi (like, apparently, everyone else).

  25. Han
    Han February 6, 2012 at 4:40 pm |

    Princess Pi for knowing why her cats were leaving the room. Mine are always doing that and I can never figure out why.

    I lost it.

    Unapologetic PUA for me because he didn’t start the gender wars, and he’ll be damned if he will be forced to carry the crosses for his forefathers.

  26. SecondJen
    SecondJen February 6, 2012 at 4:40 pm |

    So torn between Princess Pi (I like to consider myself “unsavory looking” enough to clear a room of cats…) and Unapologetic PUA (because whoever sounds like men I’ve actually met). I guess I have to go with PUA for making me want to punch stuff… that’s good trolling.

  27. SIVEAMBRAI
    SIVEAMBRAI February 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm |

    Unapologetic PUA because of the unintentional irony of quoting Nirvana.

  28. Iam138
    Iam138 February 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm |

    Princess Pi, apparently by a landslide. Her concern trolling is too good to ignore.

  29. alynn
    alynn February 6, 2012 at 6:42 pm |

    Pricess Pi all the way. I mean, HER CATS LEFT THE ROOM IN DISGUST!!!

  30. ellestar
    ellestar February 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm |

    I had to go with Mir Losen because of his totally weak grasp of reality. Hugs? 15 years for sexual harassment? “Eight-ball”ing? The last one made me lol.

  31. LC
    LC February 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm |

    Princess Pi for knowing why her cats were leaving the room. Mine are always doing that and I can never figure out why.

    Win.

  32. MTR
    MTR February 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm |

    and plus, “code drab.” Feminazis against color!

  33. Katie
    Katie February 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm |

    Princess Pi- because we all know the ‘Natzis’ overall agenda was to ruin pink for everybody.

  34. AnotherTracey
    AnotherTracey February 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm |

    Princess Pee all the way, for her cosmic fit of internalised misogyny, the cat thing, and claiming that sexism would be over if we all got good haircuts.

  35. Tapetum
    Tapetum February 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm |

    Princess Pi, for all the reasons already mentioned, and for the assumption that only single Feminazis without children could possibly be “pro-death”. Ahem. *waves* at my husband and two children behind me.

  36. igglanova
    igglanova February 6, 2012 at 11:54 pm |

    Had to go with john, for at least having the decency to not bore me with a word wall.

  37. armillaria
    armillaria February 7, 2012 at 2:13 am |

    Pi, but almost voted for dude misquoting Nirvana. X(

  38. Christina
    Christina February 7, 2012 at 6:28 am |

    Princess Pi, for successfully getting me to wonder for a minute how the death penalty was relevant…

  39. Angie unduplicated
    Angie unduplicated February 7, 2012 at 8:34 am |

    Princess by a nose, because her colors are bright and she apparently equates this with intellectual brilliance. She knows that real kyriarchic victories come from good hairspray and the right armpiece, and is unwilling to give up that edge to genuine talent or achievement.
    Unapologetic PUA ‘s just too math-impaired to buy a blow-up doll, even though it’s cheaper than all those drinks and PUA manuals.

  40. The Dormouse
    The Dormouse February 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm |

    Unapologetic PUA for repeatedly declaring that things in his comment were not the point and making me wonder what the point actually is…

  41. Jjuliaava
    Jjuliaava February 7, 2012 at 3:36 pm |

    I think your problem is, especially with the pro-death stance, that you cannot get a man in the first place for you to have to make that choice.

    WTF? Immaculate conception = tough decisions = pro-death
    I will never wear pink again.

  42. Ellie
    Ellie February 7, 2012 at 3:47 pm |

    John. I love how concise it is. No wasted blather there.

  43. Dominique
    Dominique February 7, 2012 at 7:26 pm |

    She knows that real kyriarchic victories come from good hairspray and the right armpiece, and is unwilling to give up that edge to genuine talent or achievement.

    Perfect.

  44. Stacy
    Stacy February 7, 2012 at 10:55 pm |

    Princess Pi, for getting to the really important issue: what her husband thinks.

  45. outrageandsprinkles
    outrageandsprinkles February 8, 2012 at 7:20 am |

    I almost gave all the things to Princess Pi for “not to bright” but I fell hard for Unapologetic PUA for quoting Kurt Cobain. Solid gold!

  46. Jamie
    Jamie February 8, 2012 at 5:38 pm |

    The Princess was great, but I was swayed by john’s insistence that lesbians still want to fuck him. Someone should buy him a dictionary.

  47. Sara
    Sara February 8, 2012 at 6:16 pm |

    I voted for Mr. Pretty Ladies Don’t Need Vibrators because it’s hilariously sad that some (potentially straight) dude might actually believe that.

    I’m convinced Princess Pi was being a relatively self-aware troll (saying things she doesn’t actually believe just to provoke a reaction) on the grounds that someone actually meeting her self-description would not choose that username.

  48. Sara
    Sara February 8, 2012 at 6:24 pm |

    The first Google result for Princess Pi is TVTropes.com, saying the following:

    Peter Paltridge, the host of Platypus Comix, created Princess Pi in 2011. The main character is an invincible Egyptian princess named, “Princess Pi,” who reigns over the kingdom of Piscataway. This comic follows Pi’s efforts to protect her kingdom from conquerors, such as a superpower-stealing American dictator named Princess Ip. Paltridge planned for Princess Pi to become one of his weirdest comics ever, so Pi’s adventures tend to rely on nonsensical logic.

  49. RipVanWinkler
    RipVanWinkler February 9, 2012 at 3:33 am |

    I thought Princess Pi was a bit too generic. Unapologetic PUA, on the other hand, was original enough to be entertaining while offending. His standout points:

    1. Making it incredibly easy for readers to draw the conclusion that PUA tactics are for guys who look more like Meatloaf than Johnny Depp. True that bro.

    2. The use of the phrase “world full of preventable unhappiness” in a speech about getting laid. The world is truly too small for you, you modern day Gandhi.

    3. “I didn’t start the gender wars…” We didn’t start the fire. It was always burning since the world’s been turning.

    4. I’m still (literally) laughing about the “I’ll be damned…” bit. Seriously dude, the next time you’re in a bookstore just remember the phrase “Less Mystery, more history.”

    5. Then (as others have noted) to top it off there is the straight-faced paraphrase of “Smells like Teen Spirit”.

    Here’s a Nirvana lyric more representative of your attitude, UPUA:

    “I’m so ugly, but that’s okay ’cause so are you. We broke our mirrors.”

  50. Sarah Harper
    Sarah Harper February 9, 2012 at 2:51 pm |

    Three of them were boring cliches, Mir Losen was just plain incomprehensible, but then you get this gem:

    she was so ugly my cats left the room in disgust

    Princess Pi wins, for finding a new creative way to say the same old slur.

    (But how does she know her cats didn’t leave the room in disgust at her sexist attitude?)

  51. shay
    shay February 10, 2012 at 11:56 am |

    I love that Bob Thompson is thinks that sex toy use is negatively correlated with a woman’s attractiveness. Can the same be said of men who masturbate in Bob’s world, I wonder?

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