FNTT Season 8, Round 1: the Bitches Be Crazy edition

Sorry I’ve been MIA on this, folks! But this is the last of Round 1 of Feministe’s Next Top Troll. Vote below, and then we’ll have a run-off between this and the other Round 1 posts to see who will be named Feministe’s Next Top Troll. Background on FNTT here. Click through to read this round’s contenders. The usual reminder: Comments below are abusive, insulting and may be triggering.

1. joe shmo

bitches be crazy all the time, not just when they’re hungry or tired or PMSing. They may not be outwardly negative or aggressive, but they are irrational, using their feelings as justification for things, which is not objective and by definition irrational, or use psuedo rationale to justify things, BS rationale when the real driver behind an action or decsion is their feelings. I see this in my personal relationships and professional relationships.

2. The truth hurts

The fact is this comment will probably get deleted but I don’t care as when it gets deleted it will only prove my point further. Modern day feminism is a big fucking joke; now most of the people calling themselves femenists these days are just trying to demonize men and make them seem like they are to blame for everything that is wrong in every womans life.Case in point being this article. Boohoo I dressed like a skank at occupy wall street and somebody made a video showing me dressing as such, this is not opression. This is nothing more than what you wanted when you got up in the morning and decided to put on that slutty outfit when you knew that there were gonna be a slew of cameras and videos being taken where you were going. If anything the makers of this half assed website should be demonizing the women for dressing like this in public. Now that being said we move onto the point that they made a joke about rape. Well if the makers of this website ever actually looked at facts instead of just going off their emotions they would know that there is about a 2:1 ratio of men getting raped to women. Take out the prison rape scene and it is still a 1.16:1 ratio of men getting raped to women THAT WE KNOW OF.I say that “we know of” because most men don’t report that they got raped and robbed as to us it is generally something that we could have avoided as can women. Now the awesome facts don’t stop there it is believed that about 45% of rape claims made by women are lies just to get back at somebody because of whatever reason they so choose, the worst part is that even with no evidence against them as long as some bitch starts crying in court they will probably get convicted of rape.But wait there’s more, the average jail time for a man convicted of rape is 12 fucking years and a big stain on their criminal record… for a woman its 15 months no big stain.
Now all that being said the last thing i would like to touch on is how fucked up it is that you would post not only this mans name and pic but his friends pics as well.Why can’t you grow a fucking sense of humor and get the fuck over it.Its not like he was saying I would rape all of them, no he is making a joke to his friends on a fucking facebook leave the man alone.
My mother was a feminist back when it meant something. Back when women were not supposed to wear pants and had only the worst pay in the job force and got no respect. Women these days are not oppressed they just want reparation’s for what they think is and was happening to them.The fact is unless you are talking about the top 10% of our country women not only have a higher opportunity of employment but also have a higher chance of getting employed.They get treated easier then men in courts (case in point the woman who chopped her husbands dick off when he wanted a divorce) they get less jail time time and they get away with a lot more crimes then men do.
I will argue any stupid ass point you think you may have to the contrary, BRING IT ON I will be doing an AMA about chauvinism on the 20th of October on reddit.com starting at about 12 noon eastern time. If you think you have a valid point about modern female oppression bring it up and I will show you 6 ways you are wrong.
Again I just have to say that this article sickened me.It accomplished nothing and only showed that feminists are just women with no sense of humor.

3. Junaid

Wow, Richard Dawkins was right. Western women will complain about everything! To think that this is even considered newsworthy on the same day that Syrian soldiers killed mourners at a funeral rally.

4. alex (email: fuckbitches@fuckpussy.com)

you can’t have it both ways you crazy feminists.

5. thomas courtney

In truth, I despise feminism, homosexuality…and I will destroy all this civil rights nonsense. especially the ludicrous idea that boys and girls, men and women are “equal”.

Below are comments on today’s news and some articles, AS I HAVE EDITED THEM , including some excerpts from my journal (or musings) of more than a few years ago and a critique of today’s news :
Black People. Should they be given special privileges, benefits…just because they are black ? And, if so, should such be forever ? Look at how debilitating such is today. Moreover, it seems that the only ones really benefiting from such utter nonsense are the liberals, feminists, faggots… whose cushy lives depend on the existence of totally dysfunctional black…people. Is Pat McDow (a very personable lady) a common thief ? Incompetent…? ; The American Dream, that which used to be a beacon to the enterprising…around the world ? It is no more. Nor is anywhere else in the world able to take its place
10-26-11
EVERY DAY THE NEWS GETS WORSE AND WORSE – ALL A RESULT OF THE FEMINIST-FAGGOT WAYS OF THINKING WE LIVE AND WORK BY. AND ALL OUR LEADERS, JUST AS WE ARE IN THIS SENSE, ARE TOTALLY AND GROSSLY INCOMPETENT FOOLS, EVEN THOUGH LEADERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN WE ARE. AND THINGS WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO WORSEN DAILY UNLESS WE CHANGE.


About Jill

Jill began blogging for Feministe in 2005. She has since written as a weekly columnist for the Guardian newspaper and in April 2014 she was appointed as senior political writer for Cosmopolitan magazine.
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60 Responses to FNTT Season 8, Round 1: the Bitches Be Crazy edition

  1. kate says:

    Joe Schmoe is kind of amusing, truthhurts seems to be suffering some kind of butthurt from mama, possibly she wants him to get a job and get out of the house? So he’s just pissed at uppity women.

    But Mr. Courtney blows it out of the water and manages to make his plea into a giant bucket operation, throwing in every tidbit he can find on the beach — from uppity women, racism, classism, economic oppression, conservative memes and of course, hating the gays. So for his efforts I think he enjoys the award, which by the way, where’s the trophy? Can I see a pic of it?

    • Jill says:

      So I actually fudged Thomas Courtney’s submission slightly. He re-wrote approximately 12 NYTimes articles to include the phrase “feminist-faggot” like 28 times. It resulted in a comment that was four pages long when copied into a Word doc. So I only included the intro here.

  2. kate says:

    enjoys = deserves. sorry.

  3. librarygoose says:

    Thomas Courtney because 0_ 0

  4. Wonderkitty says:

    Man oh man… I don’t know. I’m tempted to go with “the truth hurts” for statistics pulled out of his or her ass; but I’m also fascinated by alex’s brief and mysterious assertion that we can’t have it both ways – what were we trying to have exactly? Brevity is always charming, even in a troll, because at least I don’t have to suffer through paragraphs of hateful spew…

  5. archie says:

    Courtney by a mile. The comment degrades all human beings and Courtney himself.

  6. Seth Eag says:

    You can’t have it both ways, Alex. Stop commenting on other people’s sites and get to work on yours.

  7. Jadey says:

    joe shmo – for attempting to persuade us that women only use irrational and subjective means to argue their points using… subjectivity and irrationality.

    I just loves me a hypocrite.

  8. Travis says:

    Courtney had me at ‘musings’. I like to imagine a suited gentleman lounging in a private topiary garden, writing in a leather-bound journal about how to destroy civil rights.

  9. Angel H. says:

    Courtney, for posting his diary of hateful “musings”.

  10. NBarnes says:

    The more than slightly cracked approach of re-editing NYT articles to include ‘feminist-faggot’ where he feels appropriate really sells thomas courtney to me. It’s got that ‘I am not a crackpot’ aura that goes beyond mere misogyny.

  11. Abby Spice says:

    The truth hurts, because I love how exact his statistics are. 1.16:1? That’s some rape-denying, victim-blaming precision right there.

    I always wonder, these men who rant about how many men are raped–do they make gay jokes? Do they laugh at prison movies? Do they do all the things that make men not report their rapes?

  12. Kelly says:

    I had to go for Courtney because of the use of “feminist-faggot.” I appreciate the alliteration.

  13. Seth Eag says:

    I hadn’t seen any of the FNTT posts before and so just scanned backwards through them out of morbid interest. 1) They’re funny as all get out. 2) It appears that in an earlier edition (the so-called “Slutty Slut-Sluts” edition) a “thomas courtney” was both a contestant and, apparently, the winner. I know everyone seems to be a big fan and I don’t want to start any arguments…but I think he should be disqualified from this round. You can’t win twice. Without rules there’s anarchy.

  14. Katya says:

    I had to go with the truth hurts, mostly because of his reference to his feminist mother, but also because he manages to blame men for being raped (“most men don’t report that they got raped and robbed as to us it is generally something that we could have avoided as can women”) at the same time he is claiming that feminists ignore male sexual assault victims. And the fact that he works in a plug for his own program on reddit. Oh, there are just so many kinds of awesome there.

  15. Abby Spice says:

    (To be clear, I’m in no way saying men aren’t raped, or that they’re not raped in large numbers, far larger than we know.)

  16. Cécile says:

    Hooohooooooo! *dabbing tears*

    I would kill to see a dramatic interpretation of the truth hurts’ (rather humorless—!) little monologue

  17. Risa says:

    Although Courtney was very eloquent in his “musings” of hate, I have to go with Truth Hurts. There’s something endearing about a man defending himself and fellow members of his sex against rapist bitches and their terrorist vaginas.

  18. Revser says:

    I almost went with Thomas because of his utter lack of sense-making, but I just had to give it to Truth Hurts. Introducing made-up statistics with “it is believed that…”? Classic, classic trolling.

  19. number9 says:

    Courtney is really impressive. I think he actually believes that he will destroy all civil rights everywhere by editing multiple NYT articles. Also, the caps lock abuse – perfect dismount.

  20. Anon21 says:

    I voted for thomas courtney, based on the mental image of him scrawling those rants in ALL CAPS with sharpie in his little moleskine journal.

    But, truth be told, he also scares me. That reads like the kind of shit they find when they search the house of a spree killer. I hope he doesn’t have access to firearms.

  21. Tim says:

    the truth hurts made me laugh for, in the middle of his rant, tossing in “Now the awesome facts don’t stop there,” like it was one of those, “wait, there’s more” late-night kitchen-gadget offers. But I’ve seen that 1.16:1 rape-ratio statistic somewhere in another entry — did he plagiarize someone? himself maybe? Is he getting a double entry?

    Somehow Junaid’s concise and well-written entry in the “why don’t you talk about what’s really important” category did it for me.

  22. Grace says:

    Courtney had me at ‘musings’. I like to imagine a suited gentleman lounging in a private topiary garden, writing in a leather-bound journal about how to destroy civil rights.

    YES.

    I’m going to work on fitting “feminist-faggot” into my lexicon to describe my daily life: “I’m going to a feminist-faggot dinner party this evening,” (okay, fine, those actually ARE the only parties I go to) “I’m looking for feminist-faggot literature,” “That coat simply screams feminist-faggot!”

  23. AnotherTracey says:

    joe shmo, for his psychic insights as to the REAL and ACTUAL motivations of those “crazy” ladeez.

    thomas courtney nearly won me with his suavely express hatred and because apparently the above comment was only a prelude (!) to a four page rant, but I agree with Seth Eag – as thomas appears to be a FNTT ‘frequent flyer’, why should he get all the love?

  24. Abby Spice says:

    I voted for thomas courtney, based on the mental image of him scrawling those rants in ALL CAPS with sharpie in his little moleskine journal.

    That’s ridiculous, Anon21. Moleskines are for liberals. Possibly feminist-faggots.

    Speaking of, we need a portmanteau for that one. Femigots?

  25. Iam138 says:

    I usually like the short ones, because in brevity is truth, or something like that. But this time, I went for the longest one, because mansplained something awesome, careening all over the place.

    Plus, the webinar, or whatever it was, where he was going to crush all opposition like bugs, sold it for me. Count me in for that, so long as I can log on anonymously.

  26. William says:

    Alex.

    Trolls are concise, assholes are long winded.

  27. Chocolate Tort says:

    Thomas Courtney deserves a shout-out for effort because… dang man. I just hope he wears himself out with all that editing — otherwise it’s a little scary. But the truth hurt’s statistics whipped out of his (?) ass or a similarly minded ass’s ass* really touched me in my rage place. They’re so off the wall, too.

    *This is not to denigrate asses.

  28. Alexandra says:

    I was on the fence between the truth hurts and Thomas Courtney, but the “4 pages long” comment (WTF?) tipped the scale. Thomas Courtney, you are hereby freaky creep of the month.

  29. Dane says:

    Well… I was gonna go with courtney for feminist-faggot, but the truth hurts gets my vote because fucking REDDIT! I was addicted to that site for a while and that is the average user to a T. Wow.

  30. ecb says:

    I was tempted to go with Courtney, but I have to wonder if maybe he’s legitimately mentally ill. The Truth Hurts sounded sane – which makes the comments worse.

  31. I voted for the truth hurts the second I got to “this comment will probably be deleted” and I never looked back. My absolute favorite troll tactic is when they say something purposefully offensive while daring the moderator to delete the offensive comment, thereby somehow proving them right. Hilarity!

  32. Orlando says:

    Margot at Reel Girl just had a guy tell her that it’s up to each individual to decide for themselves whether or not Sandra Fluke is a slut, so I might have to vote for an import.

  33. Natalia says:

    Thomas. I like it when they get creative.

  34. Sandy says:

    So I actually fudged Thomas Courtney’s submission slightly. He re-wrote approximately 12 NYTimes articles to include the phrase “feminist-faggot” like 28 times. It resulted in a comment that was four pages long when copied into a Word doc. So I only included the intro here.

    I was going to give him the nod already due to “feminist-faggot” and the sheer mess of it all plus editing NYT articles (wtf?) plus caps lock, but wow. Four pages. Talk about above and beyond. Well done Mr. courtney.

  35. samanthab says:

    ecb, I’m legitimately mentally ill, and it doesn’t make me hate minorities. Minority hating isn’t actually a symptom of mental illness. None of these people are exactly at peace with themselves, but if they’re going to foist their peace-less-ness on others, they have earned mockery. It’s a healthy response on our part.

  36. aboat says:

    He re-wrote approximately 12 NYTimes articles to include the phrase “feminist-faggot” like 28 times.

    i just snorted tea up my nose. also:

    “AS I HAVE EDITED THEM”

    and “excerpts from my journal (or musings)”

    The paragraph of incredibly pompous poignant rhetorical questions adds a touch of class.

  37. evil_fizz says:

    In fairness, Thomas has posted so often he probably deserves his own category.

    The truth hurts takes it for me. Any time you talk about your mother and how the true oppression was women not wearing pants, you’ve opened up a wide lead as far as I’m concerned.

  38. cranterp says:

    The truth hurts got my vote for the kind offer to show me 6 ways I’m wrong, but I almost went with thomas courtney for his creative use of the word “such.”

  39. Angie unduplicated says:

    Disqualifying Courtney makes sense. He’s far from extraordinary, even with world-class logorrhea; the South is heavily populated by his (un)kind. He wants to be Faulkner but merely writes like a drunk.

    thetruthhurts-He’s a contender, and his name says it all. His attitude c about truth is that he’s being raped by it: obvious, since he will not consent to any other contact with it. His mother, bless her feminist soul, probably told him to stop his whining and pick up his own socks. If he only had a brain, he would be out fighting rape culture. If he only had a heart, he’d stop blaming half the vics. As is, though, he’s cowardly, lyin’ and his head rattles like an empty tin can.

  40. Caperton says:

    But, truth be told, he also scares me. That reads like the kind of shit they find when they search the house of a spree killer. I hope he doesn’t have access to firearms.

    Seeing as how this guy has left probably a dozen comments of exactly this kind over the past few months, their compulsive and somewhat reality-resistant nature does make me worry a little. But I checked out his blog, just to be safe, and it seems like he’s more the bigoted-self-pitying-impotent-rage type than the photos-with-crosshairs-on-them type.

    My vote is for joe shmo for actually opening with “bitches be crazy.”

  41. Seth Eag says:

    Seeing as how this guy has left probably a dozen comments of exactly this kind over the past few months, their compulsive and somewhat reality-resistant nature does make me worry a little. But I checked out his blog, just to be safe, and it seems like he’s more the bigoted-self-pitying-impotent-rage type than the photos-with-crosshairs-on-them type.

    There’s this. I’m almost positive it’s the same guy.

  42. Rob in CT says:

    Courtney is so over-the-top vile that I’d go with “The Truth Hurts” mostly for all the “statistics” he pull directly out of his ass.

  43. Bitter Scribe says:

    I just can’t decide enough to cast a vote, but I was fascinated by this bit from The truth hurts:

    I will be doing an AMA about chauvinism on the 20th of October …

    I’ve been trying to think what AMA could possibly stand for. The only thing that comes to mind is “against medical advice.”

  44. boredclerk says:

    I’m going with thomas courtney. the truth hurts just seems like he’s trying too hard.

  45. LotusBen says:

    These 5 trolls be crazy.

  46. Sandy says:

    I’ve been trying to think what AMA could possibly stand for. The only thing that comes to mind is “against medical advice.”

    It’s a Reddit thing, stands for “Ask Me Anything.” As in, I’m whatever famous person, or I do or did such and such a job, or such and such a thing happened to me, go ahead and ask me anything.

  47. Sandy says:

    Addendum to that: there’s also the secondary meaning as in “I Am A ____,” and “IAMA” is how they start out their brief descriptions of their AMA’s.

    I did a search on Reddit to find this dude’s AMA, just for lulz, and can’t find it. I searched by “thetruthhurts” and “the truth hurts” and “chauvinism.” I don’t use Reddit and don’t immediately see a way to search by date, so… I got nothing.

  48. 4catlady says:

    I voted for The Truth Hurts for his fakakta logic and abuse of statistics, but must I admit Courtney really scares me and sounds like he’s off his medication.

  49. 4catlady says:

    Okay…I sound like Yoda in my previous post. Here’s what I meant to say: I voted for The Truth Hurts for his fakakta logic and abuse of statistics, but I must admit Courtney really scares me and sounds like he’s off his medication.

  50. DouglasG says:

    This could be the Death Valley Division, with multiple worthy finalists. But at least my simplification rule of always voting for the other F-word paid off this time. Pairing both F-words made the concept sound almost chic, like a fashion line or something.

  51. Tapetum says:

    Courtney – he had it at the opening, by asserting that he could bring down feminism. What? All by yourself dude? Good luck with that.

  52. khw says:

    So hard to decide, the statistics invented by truthhurts are mind-blowing, but you have to love the term feminist-faggot, which I, too, want to work into my vocabulary.

    the feminist-faggot industrial complex???

  53. khw says:

    in the end i voted for truth hurts – as others have written, mr. courtney has won before and i felt it was only fair to share

  54. Argenti Aertheri says:

    the feminist-faggot industrial complex???

    the feminist-faggot agenda?

    joe shmo’s failed attempt at stoicism won my vote though

  55. sriracha says:

    I voted thomas courtney just for his inclusion of so many other isms, it makes me believe he really does believe his own hatred. -__-

  56. LC says:

    The Truth Hurts for the odd precision of the statistics and general delivery.

  57. Nimue says:

    I voted for Joe, “bitches be crazy” is such a CLASSIC.

  58. The fact is this comment will probably get deleted but I don’t care as when it gets deleted it will only prove my point further.

    His point being that he loves jacking off into a void.

  59. P says:

    I’m wondering if anybody’s entertained the idea that Courtney might be genuinely mentally ill… his writing, especially the term “feminist faggot”, sounds so much like paranoid schizophrenia. Check out the writings of mildly famous schizophrenic Francis E Deq and I think you will be struck as I was by the similarities in structure and tone! (be warned, there is some extremely racist language in his paranoid rantings- NSFW) http://www.bentoandstarchky.com/dec/intro.htm

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