Thank God for Mitt Romney letting us know that the best, most qualified women come in binders. But he never answered the question that was really on everyone’s minds: Which binders? Well, it’s the immensely popular Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring (the white one). Customers are raving.
This binder is great. I love being kept in it. As a single mother, it helps to keep me from being concerned about my children and their guns and being paid less than the men I work with. It even protects me from being forcibly raped. I can’t wait until they add my kitchen to it, then like a turtle, I’ll never have to leave it, unless they outsource it. Thanks Mitt Romney for putting me in my place.
I purchased this binder for my boyfriend for his birthday a few weeks ago, and he absolutely loved it. Bless his heart, the poor man has been struggling to keep me inside the house lately- for some reason, I just can’t stay in the kitchen. It’s a real problem. Once, I even tried to go register to vote (you can imagine my embarrassment when I remembered I’m not allowed). I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s something I’m working on in therapy.
ANYWAY, back to the product. Size is great, rings are easy to use. In the three short weeks that we’ve had it, our relationship has grown much happier. Last night he said he’s 47% sure that if I continue to stay bound and three-ringed like a good woman…he might finally get me the one ring that all of us ladies live for :)
(Seriously, though, who keeps letting these women have access to a computer?)
I purchased the Avery binder about a year ago. Before I had this product, my women were everywhere. I ran into them in the halls, they were in my home, sometimes occupying the bathroom for long hours, it was basically chaos. Once I acquired my binder, however, everything just made sense. Whenever I need someone with an innate capacity for home economics to rush home and cook my dinner, I open my binder and presto, there’s my lady. I usually let her know how much I appreciate her contribution with a firm open-palmed smack on the behind. In my experience, women love that kind of affirmation, and if they don’t get it they lose self-esteem. If by chance, a woman I pull out of the binder doesn’t live up to my expectations or objects to the pat on the bum, I’ve created a special section deep at the back of my binder and I consign her there never to be called upon again.
In short, the binder has created order from chaos. In many ways, it helps to restore what I think we all feel deep in our hearts to be the natural order. I recommend this product most highly.
Of course, some customers weren’t so impressed.
This binder is only 72% as good as a binder full of men. It should only cost 72% as much! Doesn’t this binder know it’s place? It totally shouldn’t get guaranteed contraceptive care and a right to privacy. What the heck is this little binder thinking?
I can’t complain about the quality of the binder itself but I was disappointed when I discovered that there where absolutely no women inside. This resulted in a huge set back for my company as we had no idea where to turn to find women other than a binder. One of my colleagues suggested we try pencil cups but it turned out that they were already filled with men. If anyone has any idea where to find women your assistance will be greatly appreciated.
PLEASE let me out of this binder! I need to get home to make dinner for my family! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?