As she cast her vote in support of Maryland’s Question 6, upholding same-sex marriage, Laura Helmuth asked herself the question that so many of us have asked ourselves in recent years: Why the hell is it my business to vote on who gets to get married?
Besides, if we’re deciding by popular vote who does and does not get to marry, why is sexual orientation the dividing line? Helmuth suggests taking the 56,000 required signatures to petition for next year’s Question 6, limiting marriage on much more sensible grounds.
- Either of the two individuals fails to disclose to the other the existence of known sexually transmitted diseases, financial debts, or children
- Either individual has consulted Dear Prudence more than twice about his or her proposed spouse
- Either individual is using the relationship primarily to re-enact unresolved family-of-origin issues
- During a break-up in an on-again, off-again relationship, either individual discloses to his or her friends any behaviors that would make said friends queasy and sad during the proposed wedding ceremony
I might also add:
- Either individual has ever ended a sentence with the words, “but that’s okay, because [he or she] is my soulmate”
- Both individuals say “ekspecially” instead of “especially”
And Alabama’s Question 6 would have to specify that a couple can’t marry if they’re considering a wedding date on a Saturday during football season. I mean, that’s just stupid.