CBS is will be airing the Grammy Awards this Sunday, and they are very concerned about your buttock crack and your female breast nipples. (Male breasts: You’re in the clear. As usual. Flash ‘em if you got ‘em.)
In the interest of keeping things covered at what is arguably the nakedest mainstream awards ceremony in the U.S., they’ve issued a wardrobe advisory banning puffy skin, underboob, and AIDS ribbons.
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
While I do appreciate CBS’s desire to keep things family-friendly and relatively un-naked for a Sunday primetime broadcast: Bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. I salute CBS Standards and Practices on sending out the first-ever wardrobe advisory written using a Magnetic Poetry kit, and I hope that when they air the Emmy Awards this fall, they send out a memo reminding John Hamm to strap it down. I mean, seriously, the kids don’t need to see that.
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