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13 Responses

  1. LC
    LC April 5, 2013 at 6:18 pm |

    I think it is a great answer and I’m glad to see the view put forward by someone famous.

    Like you, I’m all for that happiness and empowerment in the relationship and coming at it from that healthy view. That so many Poly and other non-monogamous people seem to find this genuinely shocking and incomprehensible when it appears in monogamous relationships has always confused me no end.

    Good for her, good for him, and I’m happy they seem happy.

  2. Katie
    Katie April 5, 2013 at 10:12 pm |

    What possible incentive does she have to tell the truth about her relationship structure? Famous people have huge incentives to present a normative face to the world, especially women. I am in the habit of believing friends and people I know, but I would take anyone whose livelihood depends on being commercially nonthreatening’s media interactions with a grain of salt.

    1. Radiant Sophia
      Radiant Sophia April 5, 2013 at 11:52 pm |

      So what? Not the point.

      1. EG
        EG April 6, 2013 at 11:59 am |

        Right? Given that not one of us has any right to know anything about her relationship, who cares if she’s lying? She has every right to.

    2. macavitykitsune
      macavitykitsune April 6, 2013 at 12:24 pm |

      What possible incentive does she have to tell the truth about her relationship structure?

      I don’t know, but honestly, what’s the point of expecting it? We’re not entitled to Jada’s Relationship Truths In Life, and in a rational, non-creepy society nobody would even be asking for Jada’s Relationship Truths In Life. What in fucking what.

      Society, ladies and gentlemen and others: where men can scream racist insults and people still think they’re good, and a woman can step up and say literally anything and people can’t go two comments on a feminist website without calling her a liar.

      1. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
        The Kittehs' Unpaid Help April 7, 2013 at 8:29 pm |

        Exactly. It’s nobody’s business except those involved in the relationship, however many people that includes. The public being interested (read: nosy) does not equal the public interest.

    3. Henry
      Henry April 6, 2013 at 3:38 pm |

      Katie’s point is Jada might be lying, which goes to the OP’s position to default believe Jada. As far as I am concerned the real issue is even asking Jada about her love life. Some things should be off limits. If Jada wants to talk about it fine, but forcing her to make a statement about a personal issue by circulating rumors for ages is exactly what is wrong with the media. Leave the happy couple alone, whatever they may or may not be doing.

  3. Scissors
    Scissors April 7, 2013 at 1:29 pm |

    Why do people care so much. It’s their business.

  4. Athenia
    Athenia April 7, 2013 at 6:02 pm |

    I’m not sure how this open relationship rumor started–but if it started because they didn’t attend a premier together or some shit, I can see why Jada answered the way she did.

    1. Natalia
      Natalia April 8, 2013 at 4:46 pm |

      My husband is a filmmaker and actor, and even folks who should know better expect me to attend *everything* with him. We were at a movie premiere tonight in Moscow, a totally low-key event – and ZOMG I didn’t stay for the afterparty, but he did. Suddenly, there was some person I barely know on Facebook, asking me “ARE YOU GUYS OK?”

      People don’t respect your boundaries if you are in any way “known” – even if you’re not particularly rich or famous or anything of the sort. Some do it because they’re vultures. Others do it because they crave a connection – and think they’re getting it when they get all up in your business.

  5. A4
    A4 April 7, 2013 at 8:09 pm |

    It is obvious to me that the answer to this question cannot be approached by the savvy celebrity (Which I believe Ms. Pinkett Smith most definitely is) with the simple goal of accurately communicating the truth. As others have pointed out, in a rather nastier fashion, a celebrity is expected to carefully calculate the probable career impact of the public’s reaction to their statements. Continuing this line of thinking, others on this thread have surmised that Ms. Pinkett Smith was required to deny these allegations of non-monogamy due to oppressive societal sexual norms and therefore the veracity of these statements is questionable.

    I would like to point out that if we know the changed nature of the discourse then we can account for it in our participation. If our goal in our reactions as feminists is to support women’s agency and power to define their own experiences, then a reaction that continues to emphasize the importance of considering the truth value of the statements does not match this goal.

    I think a better reaction is to accept Ms Pinkett Smith’s words at face value in support of her own self definition rather than encourage further discussion scrutinizing the statements for veracity. The latter seems irresponsible when the excessive scrutiny of famous women is acknowledged alongside the ubiquity of oppressive judgments of women’s behavior and life choices.

  6. Stevenredd
    Stevenredd April 13, 2013 at 1:05 pm |

    I think my favorite is this:

    Ok? Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.

    That speaks to their integrity. Not to their relationship, what they’ve planned or not…she started it by saying, “No,…” That should answer the question. The rest is a little snippet of wisdom for her that our group, for one, try to include in our triangle.

    You will do what you want because you are a human. We do not tell each other what to do. What you choose do after you do what you want really affects how you look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day. All else is about the negotiations and agreements we have put in place, breaking those has consequences, etc., etc.,….

    Kind of the old standard rules for Poly which could be rules for anything, really. Don’t be mean. Be respectful. Be honest. With yourself first, then us. Cuz you have to manage you, whether we’re here or not. Relationships do not mean I passively manage you in anyway.

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