Is Tom Matlack Bad for Good Men?

Why yes he is! Let Ted Ross at Buzzfeed tell you why:

1. Those matching American Flag trunks.

2. A full-fledged alcoholic, Matlack was destroying his relationship and neglecting his young children. When his wife discovered him cheating on her, she kicked him out. He remarried, she didn’t. What he learned from that is: “Despite being “perfectly attractive,” he explains, she hasn’t entered another serious relationship since leaving him. “Too much of a bitch,” he adds, with some glee.

3. He fudges connections and uses people until they threaten to sue him:

Matlack knew Weiner from Wesleyan, they were friendly, and he agreed to show up. What Weiner apparently didn’t know was that Matlack had been using their connection to each other, and Mad Men, as props in his writing and public speaking, riffing on the idea of remote, irresponsible masculinity. (“We’re obsessed with Don Draper because he’s us. It’s like this guy is actually falling apart and you can’t see it. And we’re actually falling apart and we can’t see it.”) Weiner objected to having his intellectual property sullied in this fashion. Sometime after the L.A. event, Weiner’s lawyer contacted Matlack, telling him, “If I ever mention him again in print he was going to sue me.”

4. His site, the Good Men Project, featured the work of several MRAs, including ones like Paul Elam who have used their platforms to threaten feminist writers and activists.

5. This was his response to an asinine article from a dude complaining about women in yoga pants giving him a halfy:

Matlack, predictably, defends Graziano, calling him a “good guy” who had merely put voice to “what every guy — every straight guy — I know thinks.” His logic: “All these women are walking around in yoga pants, including my fucking 18-year-old daughter. It makes me uncomfortable because it makes me horny” — women other than his daughter, presumably — “and I don’t want to be horny because I don’t want to objectify women. And people went crazy. Because ‘he’s a sexist pig!’”

6. When GMP published the articles “Nice Guys Commit Rape, Too” and “I’d Rather Commit Rape Than Quit Partying,” the problem wasn’t that the site published articles blaming women for “walk[ing] like a fuck” and from an admitted rapist. According to Matlack, the problem was that everyone just missed the point: “Publishing them was fine. The way we handled the framing of them was less than ideal. I think people missed the point and I wrote at the time that people missed the point. To somehow characterize us as being pro-rape or rape apologists is ridiculous.”

7. You silly girls think you’re feminists? Ha. Matlack is The One True Feminist:

Worse than the MRAs, though, was the “virulent strain of feminism that has more or less taken over any discussion of gender anywhere.” Contemporary feminists, he explains in his office, riled him to no end, because they weren’t really feminists, not in the way he understood it.

“I thought of feminism like my mother did,” he says, strains of righteous indignation creeping into his voice. “Equal rights. Reproductive rights. Fair playing field. Let’s vote for Shelly Chisholm.”

“Shirley,” I interrupt.

“Whatever. I’m all for Shirley Chisholm. I went to Wesleyan. We didn’t spell women with an ‘E,’ we spelled it with a ‘Y.’”

8. And while Matlack is happy to be the internet’s foremost authority on feminism, don’t you dare criticize his site i you’re a girl: “This is a men’s site; who cares what you think? I don’t give a shit! We’re trying to have a conversation about what men actually feel. That might ruffle feathers with women, but they have a thousand places to talk about that. Go write for Jezebel, for God’s sake. Don’t do that here.”

Read the whole piece here.

Similar Posts (automatically generated):

39 comments for “Is Tom Matlack Bad for Good Men?

  1. TomSims
    September 10, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    “2. A full-fledged alcoholic”

    Well based on that alone, I’d have to say he’s 100% NFG.

  2. Computer Soldier Porygon
    September 10, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    I wish I could Eternal Sunshine away everything I know about this guy

  3. September 10, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    What a consummate sleazeweasel.

    • DannyChameleon
      September 10, 2013 at 3:30 pm


      You always know the best words.

      • moviemaedchen
        September 10, 2013 at 3:56 pm

        Yes, always. Mac, where do you buy your dictionaries? I want one!

      • Tony
        September 10, 2013 at 5:41 pm

        I need a mactionary.

      • September 11, 2013 at 10:58 am

        Aww, y’all. ^///^

  4. EG
    September 10, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    I had never heard of him and I was happy that way.

    • Donna L
      September 10, 2013 at 3:34 pm

      Yup, me too. My first reaction to the title of this post was, “is this someone I’m supposed to have heard of?”

      I do, remember, though, those absolutely horrifying posts by admitted rapists. “Ridiculous” to characterize him and the GMP as engaging in rape apology? No. “Accurate and justified” would be more appropriate.

      Shelly Chisholm? Please. And no, I don’t believe for one minute that he and his fellow students at Wesleyan 30+ years ago spelled women with a “y.”

      • September 10, 2013 at 4:35 pm

        Yup, me too. My first reaction to the title of this post was, “is this someone I’m supposed to have heard of?”

        Same here!!!! My second thought was ‘what is a Good Man?’ I do know, from Flannery O’Connor, that they are hard to find.

        I don’t believe for one minute that he and his fellow students at Wesleyan 30+ years ago spelled women with a “y.”

        Funny, I’ve always spelled it with a ‘w’.

      • Computer Soldier Porygon
        September 10, 2013 at 4:42 pm

        I remember him from when he wrote some piece on the GMP called ‘Being a man is a good thing!’ or something. It was kind of a crypost and people picked up on it and then he freaked out on Twitter and said a bunch of weird shit about how women just want men to be women and ‘not masculine’ and etc. I think that was when the Schwizzler left the GMP, actually. Just more things and people I wish I didn’t know anything about.

      • DouglasG
        September 12, 2013 at 7:31 pm

        Thirty years ago was about the right time for the Y in lesbian publications, but back then “womyn” was exclusively singular and the plural was “wymyn”, at least in what I was reading.

        When I was spending a lot of time at Wesleyan from the late 90’s to the mid 00’s, I don’t recall anyone inclined to that spelling in the main alternative weekly, and I probably only saw notices by such groups maybe two or three times in five years. It felt overall a little to the left of somewhere like Yale, not because the progressives were more extreme, but because the conservative presence was much smaller. I can’t recall whether it was part of a Sex Week or not, but I definitely remember seeing a campaign for an Ask a Girl Out Day that seemed disappointingly gender- and hetero- normative.

        At least all the Wesleyan students I knew were of vastly superiour character to this specimen.

    • Dominique
      September 13, 2013 at 12:15 am


  5. Jenna
    September 10, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    I read it, and the pattern looked familiar. He reminds me of someone else.

    • Donna L
      September 10, 2013 at 3:34 pm

      Gee, I wonder who that could be?

  6. Tim
    September 10, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Read the whole piece? No thanks, but I do thank you for that summary so I don’t have to. I got a couple pages in and thought: why should I plow through a long article to find out about this asshole? Never heard of ‘im, don’t care about GMP, good riddance.

  7. AMM
    September 10, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    I, uh, encoutered the Creepy Men Project a few years ago. That may have been where I got the link to you-know-who’s website. A match made in — well, someplace.

    My attitude about them both is about the same: I’ve read enough, I don’t need to read any more to know what kind of creep they are. And I end up hearing more than enough about them from posts on sites that I do visit to convince me that I was not mistaken.

    tl;dr: I didn’t bother to go to the linked article.

  8. sadmouse
    September 10, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    sigh, wish the GMP would die so a place for men to discuss their issues that ISN’T run by [ableist term redacted] extremists can take it’s place.

    • TomSims
      September 10, 2013 at 6:15 pm

      “place for men to discuss their issues that ISN’T run by [ableist term redacted] extremists can take it’s place.”

      I may be wrong, but isn’t that why we have a Constitution and elected representatives for? And if I’m not mistaken, The SLPC has called MRA groups hate groups.

      • September 10, 2013 at 6:45 pm

        TomSims, the SPLC has classified *some* MRA groups as hate groups. Please don’t paint with such a broad brush in your comments.

  9. Arno N. Ymus
    September 10, 2013 at 6:35 pm


    I wonder if you occasionally wonder why it seems to be impossible to have a fair discourse about masculinity related stuff on the internet with more than five people. And I wonder if you wonder if *part* of that may not only be a problem of the personality of men who get into that discourse but also because of online feminists who do appear to consider any publicly communicated male position that differs from their established conceptual orthodoxy as morally abject. Which in turn will make men (usually rightly) defensive and quickly escalate the discussion into a minor shit storm. Hence the echo chamber situation on both ends of the spectrum and the lack of real communication in the middle ground. That’s also why the online gender appears to be weirding so many people reasonable people out in the long run.

    I’m not sure it’s fixable because I don’t think people want it fixed. Even those, like Matlack, who claim they do don’t appear to want it fixed. Conflict is what brings traffic, not communication. Both here and there. It’s a self-reinforcing dilemma.

    • TomSims
      September 14, 2013 at 11:47 am

      “Conflict is what brings traffic, not communication. Both here and there. It’s a self-reinforcing dilemma.”

      Bingo! We have a winner!

  10. trees
    September 10, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    Read the whole piece here.

    No, thank you. I already wish I hadn’t read those excerpts. I’m with others in saying that I wish there was a way I could go back to the time when I didn’t know this person existed.

  11. September 10, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    Gah. I read a few of his articles on HuffPo back in the day, and they seemed largely okay … but hey, it’s deja vu all over again! Bloke claims to be The One True Feminist and show all those silly women what Real Blokes think (every last one of ’em, at least if they’re straight), turns out to be fish shit. Not that all this is news – I knew Ozy Frantz stopped posting on TGMP a while back, because Matlack was letting MRAs post there and Ozy, being a decent person, took zir work elsewhere.

  12. September 11, 2013 at 2:15 am

    And I did and I do.

    Write for Jezebel, I mean.

    Why thank you, Mr. Matlack. I never would have found one of those thousands of women’s sites all on my own.

    But at least that’s possible for me as a woman, right? I mean, there are just so few websites for men. It’s like the internet as a whole is completely hostile to men, just like governments and militaries and workplaces. So thank you, again, for your hard work creating a website to serve this underserved community. You’re a real pioneer.

  13. Marksman2010
    September 11, 2013 at 4:19 am

    I don’t have the least idea what this is about.

    Does it have anything to do with those guys who drive around with those stickers on their windows?

  14. konstanze
    September 11, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    *Shelly* Chisholm. I love it.

  15. zaebos
    September 11, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    I’m sorta disappointed, because I foster a personal issue that affects men (not exclusively men by ANY means) and I tried, TRIED, to follow GMP. I left for a different reason though. Doesn’t it sound like a website for people to high-five each other?

    It just seemed so useless. I couldn’t stand it.

    Either way, I’m disappointed, because now I’m convinced such a project is impossible.

  16. Bagelsan
    September 11, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    Good to know that the Final Word on feminism is that women need to stop wearing yoga pants and “walk[ing] like a fuck.” Problems solved, ladies! Pack it up and head back to the kitchen home!

    • Lolagirl
      September 11, 2013 at 5:28 pm

      Wait, I thought wearing yoga pants clearly marked me as a Mommy and thus unfuckable? Good grief, I can’t just can’t keep up…

      • Bagelsan
        September 11, 2013 at 5:57 pm

        Maybe it’s only barely-legal relatives in yoga pants that he finds fuckable? ‘Cause everyone knows that moms produce their offspring by budding off their uteri in an asexual event called moms-don’t-have-sex-ever-tosis. Thus: (the bottom right image is the proud mama with her daughter!)

    • shfree
      September 11, 2013 at 6:26 pm

      So now I need to worry that my fifteen year old who lives in yoga pants is giving dudes a boner? Oh, wait. She would be SOL no matter what she wore, just because she is walking out in the world while female. I must say, that was my favorite lesson to give her, when she was ELEVEN.

      • Sharon M
        September 12, 2013 at 12:19 am

        She would be SOL no matter what she wore, just because she is walking out in the world while female. I must say, that was my favorite lesson to give her, when she was ELEVEN.

        I seriously hate men sometimes. This is a rite of passage for us isn’t it? My friends, their daughters, myself, the harassment all started @ your daughters ago too.

        I watched a 50 + man almost break his neck driving pass two 13 year oldish girls in shorts. I yelled “They’re too young for you, you motherfucker!!” but he didn’t hear me.

        It’s sick. And the whole “how would you like it if someone did that to your mother, daughter, sister/ any female under your ownership?” meme needs to die. You shouldn’t have to “sell” people on behaving decently!

      • September 12, 2013 at 8:16 pm

        I’m struggling with how to have these conversations with my 12-year-old… Especially as I don’t know if she can tell the difference between negative and positive male attention.

        Unfortunately, I’m not always going to be there to give the hairy eyeball to dudes who behave inn appropriately around my kid.

        What’s a good way to tell a kid that “yes, sometimes it’s okay to tell someone to fuck off.”

      • shfree
        September 12, 2013 at 9:16 pm

        And my daughter, once you spend like thirty seconds around her, she is clearly a young fifteen, in that she has NO desire to be mature for her age at all. (I also suspect she isn’t heterosexual, as to where she lies on the spectrum, should she opt to tell me, we will cross that bridge then) So the idea that she would get attention from adult men is mind-boggling, scary and infuriating to me.

        As far as what I have taught her, I have said that the world we live in is unfair to girls, young women and women. And while she IS entitled to wear what she wants, and no amount of harassment she gets is her fault, she is going to get some, period. So, how she chooses to handle it is up to her comfort level, and what makes her feel safest, because that is the most important thing, having her feel comfortable and safe. I also told her that I will support her decisions. So, while I cringe, as a parent, at her decisions to constantly wear tight tight tight yoga pants and geeky t shirts, it’s still her body and her call. I’m not going to put my worries on her. She has her whole life for men to freak her the fuck out without her mom lecturing her too.

  17. Bagelsan
    September 11, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Comments are closed.