That’s the question a Fox News contributor is asking about the Maryville rape victim. She snuck out! She drank! What did she think was going to happen? As a woman who in my youth did sometimes sneak out, drink and appear in the same room as young men, here is a brief and thoroughly non-exhaustive list of everything I expected to happen on the nights I went out:
I expected to have fun.
I expected to socialize.
I expected to get to know a new cute boy.
I expected to bond with the female friend going out with me.
I expected to laugh.
I expected to feel the thrill of doing something against the rules.
I expected to flirt.
I expected to feel the giddiness of a new crush.
I expected to flirt more because drinking made me feel braver.
I expected to feel the high of a combination of booze and adrenaline and hormones.
I expected that if I over-indulged, my friends would have my back.
Here are things I suppose I knew COULD possibly in some universe happen, but did not realistically think WOULD happen:
That a serial killer would find me on my way home and kill me.
That my parents would be so mad at the sneaking out that they’d disown me.
That I would slip on my windowsill, crack my head and die.
That we would hit a man on our car ride home, flee the scene and someone would kill us off one by one as revenge.
That my crush would end up being a sadistic misogynist, and would rape me and leave me to freeze to death on my front lawn.
Very few people think their friends and romantic interests are rapists. Does Joseph DiBenedetto, the defense attorney and commentator in question, think his friends are rapists? (Maybe). If he goes out late without getting permission and he drinks, is that a “telltale sign” that he’s lying about everything that happened afterward, as he says is the case for Daisy Coleman? No. If he thinks that women who go out at night and drink alcohol cannot be rape victims because they’re inviting rape upon themselves, is he someone who probably should not be left unattended with women or children? Yes.
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