Open Thread with Alligator Hatchlings

Teeny tiny alligators feature for this week’s Open Thread. Please natter/chatter/vent/rant on anything* you like over this weekend and throughout the week.

a clutch of about half a dozen tiny alligator hatchlings with bright beady eyes and attractive striping

Alligator Hatchings, FWC photo by Tim Donovan shared on Flickr by Florida Fish and Wildlife using a Creative Commons License (CC BY-ND 2.0)

So, what have you been up to? What would you rather be up to? What’s been awesome/awful?
Reading? Watching? Making? Meeting?
What has [insert awesome inspiration/fave fansquee/guilty pleasure/dastardly ne’er-do-well/threat to all civilised life on the planet du jour] been up to?


* Netiquette footnotes:
* There is no off-topic on the Weekly Open Thread, but consider whether your comment would be on-topic on any recent thread and thus better belongs there.
* If your comment touches on topics known to generally result in thread-jacking, you will be expected to take the discussion to #spillover instead of overshadowing the social/circuit-breaking aspects of this thread.


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46 comments for “Open Thread with Alligator Hatchlings

  1. November 21, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    It’s finally raining in California, and I am going on a long, wet hike near Santa Cruz tomorrow.

    • November 21, 2014 at 9:28 pm

      Oh yeah, I’m loving the rain too. Hope you have a good hike. :)

  2. November 22, 2014 at 1:22 am

    I’ve had a crush on a girl I know (a fellow butch lesbian) for the past month or so. And this morning she talked with me and admitted that she had a crush on me as well. So now we’re together, in an open relationship. It’s my first relationship ever, and we both really like each other a lot and have a lot in common, so yay! Good news for once.

    • November 22, 2014 at 1:51 am

      That sounds lovely. Congratulations.

    • November 22, 2014 at 2:40 am

      Congratulations. Your first relationship aww.

    • trees
      November 22, 2014 at 8:35 am

      :) Yeah Aaliyah!

    • gratuitous_violet
      November 22, 2014 at 1:17 pm

      yay you get to hold hands in the rain!

      • November 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm

        I’m not sure if she’d want to do that with me, but if she’s down, I’m down… :)

    • Donna L
      November 22, 2014 at 4:28 pm

      That’s wonderful!!

    • November 22, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Very happy for you, Aaliyah. Enjoy!

    • PrettyAmiable
      November 23, 2014 at 2:59 pm

      So good to hear!

    • khw
      November 23, 2014 at 9:15 pm

      congrats!

    • November 24, 2014 at 1:06 am

      Thanks, everyone. For the longest time I’ve told myself that I should avoid relationships completely, that I don’t deserve to be with anyone because of struggling with self-loathing. Nearly everyone else I knew believed otherwise, and I dismissed them because I thought they didn’t know enough about me to make that kind of judgement.

      But they turned out to be right in the end. In fact, all of my friends were apparently hoping all along that she and I would start dating. It also helps that our signs are pretty compatible – we are both very Cancerian (not that I take astrology super seriously, but still… =P).

      She’s sweet, caring, and adorable. We’re really happy to be together. =) This marks the first lesbian relationship in the entire family, and we’re going to cherish it for as long as it lasts.

    • Scott Cunningham
      November 24, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      Late to submit on account of some protest organizing, but great to hear, Ally, and congrats and awww!

  3. Donna L
    November 22, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    One of the greatest fears of so many trans people — that their gender will not be respected by their families after death:

    http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/gay-south-florida/article4055600.html

    This is utterly devastating.

    • November 22, 2014 at 4:39 pm

      That’s so horrible. :( I’m also afraid that my gender won’t be respected by my family after I die. I hope I can convince them to gender me correctly at that time.

    • November 22, 2014 at 4:49 pm

      So awful for those who knew and cared for Jennifer in her chosen identity. No wonder that at age 32 she had not yet made a will, thus allowing her father to deny her as a woman in death. I would hope that for others an adequate will naming a sympathetic executor would mean that a trans* person’s wishes could not be so flagrantly over-ridden by family, although we have all heard of incidents where legally enforceable documents are disregarded by officials until it’s too late. It’s utterly appalling.

      • drache
        November 23, 2014 at 10:09 pm

        For the record, every time this comes up, the newspapers, talking heads, etc. blames these things on lack of a will. This is a huge error in thinking.

        (1) A will has NO OPERATIVE EFFECT until a judge says it does. This requires a death certificate, proper filing, and a chance for persons to object. Usually this takes about 30 days to accomplish.

        (2) In most states, wills are limited to disposition of probate property and pets after death ONLY. It doesn’t cover anything to do with matters occurring while you are alive, anything to do with your body after death/funeral/burial, anything to do with non-probate property (i.e., things that pass by operation of law or contract such as POD accounts or those with beneficiary designations).

        Some states allow an Executor/trix limited power to act prior to the will being probated. Usually this power does not include dealing with the body of the deceased. That’s usually under separate statues.

        If you do not want your “legal next of kin” (usually your parents), to decide what to do with your body, you need to put this in either your Health Care Directive (aka “living will”) or your Authorization to Dispose of Remains. Which one is needed depends on the state in which you live AND the state in which you die. So I always advise clients to put the instructions on their body, funeral, and burial/cremation/donation of body to science in multiple documents.

        Even this woman would have had all of these documents, nothing would have prevented the family from writing an obituary that erased her identity. ANYONE can legally publish an obituary for someone deceased. It is a matter of newspaper policy, not law.

        If you want to ensure this doesn’t happen to you, go see an attorney. Not just any attorney, one who knows a lot about incapacity and death planning. (Not just “simple wills”).

        I’ve seen this go horribly wrong because of actions by attorneys who did not know what they were doing.

        -An estate planning attorney who has represented people in non-heternormative situations

      • drache
        November 23, 2014 at 10:14 pm

        Here’s some substantive information if anyone wants to know what to do in there state:

        Alabama – In 2011 the state adopted a designated agent law. Click here to download a form.

        Alaska – There is no law giving citizens the right to expect their funeral wishes to be honored, nor the right to appoint someone to act as their agent.

        Arizona – Yes, Designated Agent and Personal Preference Law

        The state has a personal preference law in Arizona Statute Title 32-1365.01 that gives you the right to authorize your own cremation or disposition in writing. The law clearly states that no one else’s consent – not your spouse’s, not your childrens’ – is required. It seems likely lawmakers weren’t aware of this conflict, which is unfortunate, since it may prove confusing for families and for funeral directors.

        Arizona also allows citizens to designate an agent to have the authority to make funeral and burial arrangements within the form for a durable healthcare power of attorney. You can find this right in statute 36-3221. But other sections of the law contain confusing and conflicting language that makes it unclear whether the person you designate to carry out your wishes has the highest authority, or whether a surviving spouse does:

        36-831. Burial duties; notification requirements; failure to perform duty; definitions

        A. Except as provided pursuant to subsection H of this section, the duty of burying the body of or providing other funeral and disposition arrangements for a dead person devolves in the following order:

        1. If the dead person was married, on the surviving spouse. Unless:

        (a) The dead person was legally separated from the person’s spouse.
        (b) A petition for divorce or for legal separation from the dead person’s spouse was filed before the person’s death and remains pending at the time of death.
        2. The person who is designated as having power of attorney for the decedent in the decedent’s most recent durable power of attorney.
        This seems to conflict with rights that already exist in Arizona law.

        So What Should You Do?
        Your right to authorize your own body disposition still exists in state law. We’re fairly sure the courts would uphold a written document declaring your wishes, including a durable healthcare power of attorney that describes your wishes and names an agent to carry them out, even if that person is not your spouse.

        Arkansas — Arkansas enacted a law in 2009 that allows you to specify your funeral wishes in advance. The law also allows you to designate an agent to carry them out (or you may leave those decisions up to your designated agent). Click here to download a declaration form that complies with Arkansas law.

        California –Yes, personal preference law, found in California Health and Safety Code 7100.1 California also has a designated agent law found in CHSC 7100. Search for both of these on the state legislature’s web site.

        Colorado— Colorado has a personal preference and a designated agent law. Title 15-19-104 of the Colorado Statutes gives a decedent the right to make his own legally binding preferences known in a written document. Here’s a form you can download.

        Connecticut— As of October 1, 2005, Connecticut citizens have the right to declare their own wishes for the disposition of their body. This declaration will be legally binding. In addition, citizens may appoint an agent to carry out those directions.You can find the law here. When you click the link, scroll down for section 45a-318.Or, just download the form from us.

        DC — Residents have the right to designate an agent to make decisions about the disposition of the the body. Residents may also make written directions for the disposition of their body that supersede any other party’s wishes. These rights can be found in the DC Code, Division 1, Subsection 3-413 at the DC government’s website.

        Delaware – There is a combined personal preference and designated agent law. Find it in Title 12, Chapter 2, subsections 264 and 265 of the Delaware Code.

        Florida –Yes, personal preference law.

        Georgia — Georgia law allows you to appoint an agent to direct the disposition of your remains within the state’s Durable Health Care Power of Attorney form. See Georgia Code Title 31, Chapter 36 .

        Hawaii—In 2013 the state adopted a combined personal preference/designated agent law. Here is a form you can use.

        Idaho — Idaho law allows you to write up a document naming a person to carry out your funeral wishes, so long as the document is “acknowledged in the same manner as required for instruments conveying real property. . .” A far easier route, however, is to take another option allowed by law: the person you name as your agent in a Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare has the authority to make your disposition arrangements unless you specifically deny your agent that right within the document. This right is found in Title 54, Chapter 11, section 42 (54-1142).

        Illinois — As of January 1, 2006, Illinois citizens can declare their wishes for disposition in a written document that is legally binding. They may also designate an agent to carry them out, or to make any decisions if no specific instructions are left. The law allowing this is found under in chapter 755 of Illinois Statutes, Estates, Disposition of Remains Act. Click here and scroll down to look it up.

        Indiana — As of July 2009, you may fill out a Funeral Planning Declaration that allows you to specify your wishes and to appoint an agent who has the legal authority to carry them out.

        If you do not fill out a Funeral Planning Declaration, your health care power of attorney named in an advance medical directive has the right to “make plans for the disposition of the principal’s body.” NOTE – a person named in your Funeral Planning Declaration has legal priority over an agent named in your durable power of attorney for health care when it comes to the disposition of your dead body.

        Iowa — SF 473 became effective July 1, 2008. It gives you the right to name an agent to make all arrangements for the disposition of your body. NOTE – you MUST attach the form to a Durable Health Care Power of Attorney for it to be effective. Download the form here.

        Kansas— Kansas has a designated agent law which can be found in Statute number 65-1734. To find it, to the Kansas Legislature Web site which allows you to look up laws by statute number.

        Kentucky — Kentucky’s laws are confusing. Statute 367.97501 says an “authorizing agent” can legally order the cremation of a decedent. It defines an “authorizing agent” as first the deceased himself, and then the usual next of kin, with no provision to allow a person to designate another agent. The law also says that the authorizing agent has the “right to control the disposition of the remains of a deceased person, unless other directions have been given by the decedent.” We read this to mean the deceased’s written wishes come first, for all forms of disposition, cremation or burial.

        But another statute, 367.97527, says that a person must sign a cremation authorization form before his death if he wishes to make those arrangements legal. Yet further down in the same statute, the law says that the next of kin can challenge the person’s prearrangement, and the crematory may not cremate the body without a court order. We hope Kentucky will clean up this confusing, contradictory mess and follow the lead of the majority states with clear, unambiguous disposition laws. To search for these statutes, go here.
        Louisiana –Wishes of the deceased will prevail if written and notarized.

        Maine –You may designate an agent for body disposition as well as your wishes.You can find this right in Title 22, §2843-A, no. 2 of the Maine Statutes.

        Maryland – The state’s Advance Directives forms now include the option to name an agent to carry out your funeral wishes. You can download the form (and a rather lengthy instruction booklet) here.

        Massachusetts — How too bad that Massachusetts citizens can only ensure their wishes are carried out by paying a funeral director before they’ve died. Massachussetts regulation number CMR 239, 3:09 states that if a preneed (prepaid) contract is in force, then the funeral director shall obey it. Otherwise, the right to control the disposition of your body devolves along the usual next-of-kin line, whether you like it or not.

        Michigan –You may designate your wishes in your will, but your next of kin may override them. If you do make a will, be sure everyone knows where the will is and what it says. Often the will isn’t read until after the body is buried.

        Minnesota –The state has a personal preference and designated agent law. Statute number 149A.80 allows you to put your disposition wishes in writing, and/or to appoint an agent to carry these out or make decisions for you. You may also use an advance medical directive for this purpose.

        Mississippi — As of July 1, 2004, your prepaid funeral contract is legally binding and cannot be overriden by your next of kin. It’s too bad the only way to secure your right to decide what happens to your body is to pay the funeral director ahead of time. Mississippi has the worst consumer protection laws in the country regarding prepaid funerals.

        Missouri — Yes, Designated Agent law. Chapter 194, Death – Disposition of Dead Bodies, Section 194.119, of the Missouri Revised Statutes, states that the next-of-kin has the “right of sepulcher” — the right to custody and control of the dead body. What’s interesting is that in Missouri, you can designate anyone you want to be your next-of-kin for the purposes of the disposition of your body. Go here to read the law.

        The easiest way to do this is to name a person to carry out your funeral within your Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare.

        Montana — The state adopted a designated agent law in 2009. Download the form here.

        Nebraska –Written or oral wishes of the deceased regarding disposition must be honored. In 2003, Nebraska also added a designated agent provision in statute section 71-1339

        Nevada — Yes, designated agent law. New laws in Nevada as of 2003 give citizens the right to designate an agent for burial or cremation. See Chapter 451 of the Nevada Revised Statutes for details.

        New Hampshire — Yes, there is a designated agent law. From the New Hampshire Statutes:

        290:17 Custody and Control Generally. – The custody and control of the remains of deceased residents of this state are governed by the following provisions:
        I. If the subject has designated a person to have custody and control in a written and signed document, custody and control belong to that person. The person designated by the subject shall be entitled to no compensation or reimbursement of expenses related to the custody and control of the subject’s body.

        II. If the subject has not left a written signed document designating a person to have custody and control, or if the person designated by the subject refuses custody and control, custody and control belong to the next of kin.

        III. If the next of kin is 2 or more persons with the same relationship to the subject, the majority of the next of kin have custody and control. If the next of kin cannot, by majority vote, make a decision regarding the subject’s remains, the court shall make the decision upon petition under RSA 290:19, IV.

        New Mexico — You may authorize your own cremation prior to death under statute 24-12A-1. In addition, you may appoint a legal agent to carry out your funeral wishes within your will under statute 45-3-701 B. Click here to download a cremation authorization form that includes tips on using your will to appoint an agent.

        New Jersey — New Jersey adopted a Designated Agent law in 2004. Go to the NJ Legislature page and see Title 45:27-22 to see the statute conferring this right. Once at the legislature page, look at the left-hand menu and scroll down until you see “Laws and Constitutions.” Just underneath that, click the link labeled “statutes,” then scroll through the numbered titles to find 45:27-22. Beware – you must make your wishes known in a will, so make that will available to your family and friends, not locked away in a safe deposit box.

        New York– Section 4201 of the Public Health Law allows a person to designate an agent to dispose of his remains. The law includes a statutory form that may be used. See the Legislature’s web site.

        North Carolina –An irrevocable preneed arrangement may not be altered. Since 2007, you can use your Health Care Power of Attorney form to give that person the right to make decisions about your funeral, cremation, burial, or anatomical donation too. Download your NC Health Care Power of Attorney here.

        You can also use a stand-alone form to authorize your own cremation before death in North Carolina, though we recommend you fill out the complete Health Care Power of Attorney form.

        North Dakota — We can find no laws giving citizens the right to direct the disposition of their bodies, or the right to designate an agent to do so for them. Title 23-06-03 states, “1. The duty of burying the body of a deceased individual devolves upon the surviving husband or wife if the deceased was married or, if the deceased was not married but left kindred, upon one or more individuals in the same degree, of adult age, nearest of kin to the deceased and possessed of sufficient means to defray the necessary expenses.”

        North Dakota citizens might want to contact their representatives to ask them to bring the state’s body disposition laws into the 21st century and up to par with the majority of other states.

        Oklahoma — There is a combined personal preference and designated agent law. Click here to download a form. The law can be found in §21-1151:

        Disposal of one’s own body.
        A. Any person has the right to direct the manner in which his or her body shall be disposed of after death, and to direct the manner in which any part of his or her body which becomes separated therefrom during his or her lifetime shall be disposed of. The provisions of this article do not apply where such person has given directions for the disposal of his or her body or any part thereof inconsistent with these provisions.

        B. A person may assign the right to direct the manner in which his or her body shall be disposed of after death by executing a sworn affidavit stating the assignment of the right and the name of the person or persons to whom the right has been assigned.

        C. Any person who knowingly fails to follow the directions as to the manner in which the body of a person shall be disposed of pursuant to subsection A or B of this section, upon conviction thereof, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not more than Five Thousand Dollars ($5,000.00).
        Ohio — Effective October 12, 2006, Ohio citizens may designate anyone they wish to make funeral, cremation, or anatomical donations of their bodies after death. This new right can be found in 2108.70 of the Ohio Code. See the attachments below to download a copy of an Ohio Designated Agent Form.

        Oregon — Yes, there is both a personal preference and a designated agent law. You may find the statutory form to use to direct your disposition, and to appoint an agent to do so, under Oregon Revised Statutes, 97.130, at here.

        Pennsylvania — Yes, designated agent law. Pennsylvania Statute, Title 20, Chapter 3, Subsection 305, gives citizens the right to make a “statement of contrary intent” that will override the next-of-kin’s usual authority and let the citizen designate whom he wants to control the disposition of his body. Click here to search the Pennsylvania statutes.

        Rhode Island — Rhode Island has a designated agent law. Look up section 5-33.2-24 of the statutes, and see section SECTION 5-33.3-4 for a suggested form.

        South Carolina –Yes, personal preference law. A person may authorize his/her own cremation in a Cremation Authorization Form — see South Carolina Code of Laws, Section 32-8-315 at the State Legislature Web site. Section 32-8-320 allows you to name any person you like (it does not have to be your next of kin) to carry out your wishes for cremation. You must do so in a ” will or other verified and attested document.” OUR ADVICE — Do NOT use a will to assign this power to someone. Why? Because the will usually isn’t read until after your body is disposed of. Instead, draw up a short, dated document stating that you give such-and-such person the sole right to make arrangements for your disposition, as allowed by SC Code 32-8-30. Date the document, and have it notarized. Make sure your survivors have a copy.

        South Dakota –Yes, personal preference law, found in Title 34, Chapter 26, Section 1 of the South Dakota statutes. Click here to download a free form on which you can describe your funeral wishes and make them legally binding.

        Tennessee — Tennessee citizens can give the right to make disposition arrangements to the person named as their agent in a durable health care power of attorney. This right is outlined in the Tennessee Code, Title 34, Chapter 6, Part 2.

        Texas –There is a statutory duty to honor the wishes of the deceased. You may also name an agent to control disposition of remains. To view Texas Health and Safety Code 711.02, which contains a form to appoint an agent, see the attachments below.

        Utah –A designated agent may carry out the wishes of the deceased. A person may direct his/her own disposition (burial or cremation) in an approved document.

        Vermont — Effective September 1, 2005, Vermont has added the right to specify the disposition of one’s own body, and the right to designate an agent to make decisions about bodily dispostion, to the state advance medical directives law. What a sensible approach! See Title 18, Part 231 of the Vermont Statutes. You can download a Vermont Advance Directive from the Vermont Ethics Network.

        Virginia — Yes, a person may designate an agent to arrange for the disposition of his/her body. See § 54.1-2825. There is a statutory duty to comply with the written wishes of the deceased.

        Washington –There is a statutory duty to comply with the written wishes of the deceased. A preneed agreement may not be substantially altered by survivors. You can find the right to direct your own disposition in the Revised Code of Washington, 68.50.160. It states:

        Right to Control Disposition of Remains

        (1) A person has the right to control the disposition of his or her own remains without the predeath or postdeath consent of another person. A valid written document expressing the decedent’s wishes regarding the place or method of disposition of his or her remains, signed by the decedent in the presence of a witness, is sufficient legal authorization for the procedures to be accomplished.

        Also, Washington passed a designated agent law through House Bill 1564 in February, 2011. You may now give another person the legal right to make your funeral arrangements. You must do so in a written document that you sign, and that is signed by at least one witness (not the person to whom you’re giving authority).

        West Virginia — Statute 16-30-4 allows you express your funeral wishes in an advance medical directive, and/or to appoint a person to carry these out for you.

        Wisconsin — Assembly Bill 305 was signed by the Governor March 5, 2008, giving citizens the right to designate an agent to carry out their funeral wishes. We’ve created a form you can download WIDesignatedAgent.

        Wyoming — There is a designated agent law, found in statute Title 2, Chapter 17, 2-17-10.

      • Donna L
        November 25, 2014 at 1:44 am

        Thanks so much for all the detailed information.

  4. November 22, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Today in turning over rape-culture rocks:


    • November 23, 2014 at 10:33 pm

      It certainly does seem that women on campus will be blamed for the ban. Frustrating because apparently there were student run efforts to change the culture. The proposed co-ed fraternity rule for instance. I wish the school had supported its student activists.

  5. TomSims
    November 22, 2014 at 5:21 pm
    • November 22, 2014 at 7:22 pm

      I have a friend who lives in Buffalo, although out of the storm area. However, she did say that her nephew left for work Monday and as of Thursday night was still unable to get home.

      I have a feeling that the mantra for snow-laden climates in North America this year is going to be “at least we’re not in Buffalo.”

      • TomSims
        November 23, 2014 at 8:44 am

        They are supposed to be getting warm temperatures which will cause flooding next for them. I saw on last night’s news that the town of West Seneca was getting an emergency team from NYC to help out. I hope things work out for all those affected by the bad weather.

  6. MM
    November 24, 2014 at 11:57 am

    ..Cosby..

  7. AMM
    November 25, 2014 at 7:34 am

    (Apologies if this doesn’t belong here. Mods: feel free to move or delete this if it isn’t appropriate. I just had to vent _somewhere_.)

    I just read about the Grand Jury decision about Darren Wilson.

    I’m dismayed (can anyone think of a stronger word?), but not surprised. I’ve been on a grand jury (2 year hitch), and I know that grand juries do exactly what the prosecutor tells them. And even before you know of the prosecutor’s connections with police and his support for Darren Wilson, you know that a DA has to work every day with the cops in his district and thus has a strong incentive not to do anything that they don’t like. I live in the NYC area, and I notice that despite the NYPD’s long history of endemic corruption and lawlessness, the only times NYPD officers get prosecuted is when other jurisdictions get involved — usually, it’s the Feds, but the time a group of cops was caught dealing stolen drugs, it was Nassau County that prosecuted, and there’s a recent case in Mount Vernon (NY) where an NYPD cop was sitting in his car waiting for someone to come by so he could shoot them, which I’m hoping will go somewhere.

    Of course, once the Governor declared a state of emergency, it was even more obvious what was going to happen.

    I wish I could say I’m hopping mad, but this cr*p has been happening so regularly, I’ve run out of mad, and I’m just despairing. It hurts too much to care. In my youth I was a Conservative(tm), but life has radicalized me to the point that I’d be a revolutionary if I didn’t fear that any revolution would just replace the current axis of evil with something worse. I just cry for all the “little people” who get ground up into hamburger every day so that evil may flourish.

    • AMM
      November 25, 2014 at 9:04 am

      We need a giraffe here.
      [Thank you for sending a giraffe alert ~ mods]

      Mods: Can you move this to the Ferguson thread?

      Thanks!

      • November 25, 2014 at 3:49 pm

        Sorry AMM, the blogging software doesn’t allow us to move comments from one thread to another. Please repeat your comment on the Ferguson thread.

  8. November 26, 2014 at 5:16 pm

    In re: to the murder of my friend:

    It seems that the creep lied to her and to all of us about who he is/was. He gave us an alias, and the entire history he gave may have been a complete sham.

    My friend was living with this guy, and I didn’t even know who he was. He might have had a prior criminal record.

    I’m thinking about moving to a cabin in the woods, because I can’t deal with the fact that this world is my reality.

    • pheenobarbidoll
      November 26, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      I had a boyfriend who did that to me. After we broke up ( and he stole my car, broke into my room and did violent things I won’t detail) me and all of our mutual friends discovered he’d given us a fake name and completely made up history.

      • November 26, 2014 at 5:32 pm

        Am I crazy for suddenly wanting to run a background check on every person I know?

        Like, how do you know?

      • pheenobarbidoll
        November 27, 2014 at 10:03 am

        I know the feeling. Before you’ve experienced that, it never even crossed your mind. You meet a guy named Bob, and that’s the end of it as far as you’re concerned. But after that happens you’re like ” So… “Bob”..got any I’D? How about family nearby? Mhmm mhmm, let’s go meet them shall we”

      • Tyris
        November 27, 2014 at 2:57 pm

        That sounds perfectly sane and, indeed, sensible. If possibly expensive.

  9. November 27, 2014 at 11:18 am

    White cops brutalize Black people and get away with it, white families celebrate thanksgiving without ever even considering the fact that today signifies a day of genocide. I hate this country SO FUCKING MUCH.

  10. pheenobarbidoll
    December 1, 2014 at 8:16 am

    I’ve had the stomach flu since around 5 am Friday morning. I’d like to crawl in a hole and go in peace now, please and thank you.

    • PrettyAmiable
      December 1, 2014 at 9:44 am

      Oh no! Are you able to hydrate?

      • pheenobarbidoll
        December 1, 2014 at 12:38 pm

        Yes. I had to get prescription anti vomit meds though, just to stop. I truly thought I was going to break a rib puking so hard that first 2 days. Had to call in sick to work today which sucks.

      • TomSims
        December 1, 2014 at 1:24 pm

        Hope you feel better soon.

  11. December 2, 2014 at 8:08 am

    Because of needing to help out fellow disabled friends, I’m broke every other week. Helpful donations don’t really come as often as any of us wish, so as soon as I get anything in my account, it goes straight to them. Since money stuff has been especially tight lately, I have been unable to pay for any of my expenses except for occasional groceries.

    I can’t get food stamps yet because I lost my birth certificate, and it costs money to get a certificate copy. And the health insurance nightmare my dad is responsible for has yet to be resolved, resulting in me having to pay for HRT refills and prescriptions with zero coverage. I’ve been out of hormones for nearly 2 weeks so far and it hasn’t been nice for me, to put it mildly.

    Now, I don’t have any problem with helping people out financially. I would rather ensure that others in need gain financial stability than I do so; many of my friends have less class privilege than I do and for that reason I will always have an inherently easier accessibility to wealth, even though I’m broke these days. I’m not being “used” or “exploited” or a victim of poor people in any way, and in fact I should use whatever additional class privilege I have for the sake of helping others who are way poorer than I have ever been and will ever be.

    So I will support them as much as I am able to, for as long as I can. First and foremost because they need that support. I simply try to live with the hope that some day we’ll get enough money and resources for everyone and that my personal financial problems finally get resolved. Being broke sucks.

  12. PrettyAmiable
    December 3, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    No indictment in NYC either.

    • ludlow22
      December 3, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      Let’s not forget that along with the issue of police brutality, this is a prime example of how ‘broken windows’ policing affects poor, mostly minority, communities. Eric Garner was being arrested for selling loose cigarettes.

    • December 3, 2014 at 6:17 pm

      As usual, the white killers get away with their actions.

    • Donna L
      December 3, 2014 at 7:19 pm

      I really held out a glimmer of hope this time that the cop might actually have to go to trial. Given that he choked Eric Garner to death, on camera, for selling loose cigarettes illegally. Nope. I should have known that this would happen once I realized the grand jury was in Staten Island. The Bronx or Brooklyn? Maybe a different story, depending on who the prosecutor was. But probably not. The police have always basically had a license to kill black people whenever they feel like it, and nothing has changed. There’s always an excuse.

      • PrettyAmiable
        December 4, 2014 at 10:17 am

        In your experience as a lawyer here, is it really that predictable? I was so certain that since this is NYC (liberal haven!) that we’d get an indictment. I didn’t realize the borough mattered so much.

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