Quick hit: Driskell v. Teh Gheys et al

(Y’all, I tried so hard to come up with a pun using “class-action lawsuit,” and I got nothing. Please feel free to leave your suggestions in comments.)

Nebraska woman Sylvia Ann Driskell is suing every Homosexual (a.k.a. Gay) in the whole world for breaking “religious and moral laws.” There now exists a lawsuit on the books called Driskell v. Homosexuals. We live in a world where that lawsuit exists.

Driskell identifies herself as “ambassador” for “God and His Son, Jesus Christ” (hereinafter referred to as Plaintiff), suing “Homosexuals, Their Given Name Homosexuals, Their Alias Gay.” Her seven-page, handwritten petition doesn’t quote any court cases, but it does quote Webster’s Dictionary and the Bible, so you know she’s for serious. Her contention is “that homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in a closet.” (You can’t handle the truth.)

As of press time, neither God, nor His Son Jesus Christ, nor Homosexuals was available for comment.


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15 comments for “Quick hit: Driskell v. Teh Gheys et al

  1. Angel H.
    May 8, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    [sung to the tune of Pinky and The Brain]

    It’s Driskell and The Gays
    It’s Driskell and The Gays
    One is a bigot who kneals as she prays
    That Jesus Christ will smite the “sinful” sodomites
    It’s Driskell
    It’s Driskell and The Gays, Gays, Gays, Gays, Gays…

    • May 8, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      That just made my day a billion times better. Thank you, thank you so very very much.

  2. BruceJ
    May 8, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    What is this book of ‘Jenesis’ she’s referring to? Was Levi Strauss one of the prophets?

  3. pheenobarbidoll
    May 8, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Oh man. Soon you’ll hear about the case of pheeno v insufferable prigs. Bonus- I can spell “liar”.

    • May 9, 2015 at 6:06 pm

      Mac vs people who say Indians aren’t Asian!

      • pheenobarbidoll
        May 9, 2015 at 10:36 pm

        Pheeno n Mac v People Who Ask Woo Woo or Dot Dot

        lmao

      • May 10, 2015 at 12:25 am

        OMFG do people do that to you????

        I mostly get “uh, you mean like, Indian, not Indian Indian, right?” which leaves me 100% as baffled as before….

      • ludlow22
        May 10, 2015 at 1:18 am

        Not identical, but I definitely get a third fun level of the ‘where are you from from’ because I’m an ethnically-Chinese Indonesian-native naturalized-American-citizen.

        Blows people minds, ya’ll.

      • pheenobarbidoll
        May 11, 2015 at 1:27 pm

        Oh yes. I’ve mentioned meeting an Indian or some anecdote and have had people ask. I only ever use that when it’s relevant to my story in some way, otherwise I don’t tend to use racial descriptors ( i say ” this lady at the check out ” not ” this Black lady or Latina lady” )

        And I’ve overheard people asking it.

        So far only one person who knows me and knows better has ever been that stupid, the rest were just acquaintances or co workers that don’t know I’m bi racial and don’t get told because they’re idiots.

      • May 12, 2015 at 1:59 am

        A friend’s mother is Native American, and his dad is from Gujarat, so you can imagine all the oh! so! clever! comments he gets on a regular basis. Lots of “woos” and “dots” all around.

  4. JinianVictoria Herdina
    May 9, 2015 at 9:34 am

    What I find truly fascinating about this is that there is an idiot lawyer who would file this paperwork. Is it possibleto file a non comPos mentis lawsuit against this lawyer and the womam?

    • ludlow22
      May 9, 2015 at 5:32 pm

      No. And she’s representing herself pro se, says so right there in the article.

    • May 12, 2015 at 7:20 am

      Lawyers are bound to take instructions from their clients. They can advise against something, but if the client definitely wants to file an idiotic motion, a lawyer’s professional ethics requires them to assist them as best they can.

      • Donna L
        May 15, 2015 at 12:00 am

        That isn’t actually true. You don’t have to follow a client’s instructions to file a frivolous complaint. In fact, the ethics rules expressly forbid attorneys to do so.

      • Izzy
        May 15, 2015 at 6:34 pm

        +1 to Donna

        I know a lawyer whose client wanted her to file a pointless lawsuit. Her response was, “no way, you’ll lose and I’ll look stupid.” He got someone else to do it and sure enough, the first lawyer was right.

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