Catholic bigots are not alone! in new coming-out video

As coming-out videos go, it’s a heartbreaker. It’s pretty moving. They’ve got the style right on: black and white, sentimental music, earnest testimonies delivered straight to the camera. A little bit of tearfulness at the back of the throat, because seriously, it’s hard to come out. It’s hard to be honest with people when you don’t know how they’re going to react, that they’re not going to judge you. It’s scary putting yourself out there and saying, “Listen, I trust you to take this part of me, this vulnerable piece of me that I’m putting in your hands, and still love me once you know the truth. The truth, that I am…


It’s a coming-out video from Catholics who are against same-sex marriage.

Words fail me.

And they know exactly what they’re doing, too: It’s not until you’re nearly a minute in that they finally reveal that being nervous that people won’t welcome them, that feeling like society already thinks they’re weird, that you wonder who you can really be open with, that you’ve tried to change — that they’re talking about being opposed to marriage equality. Fifty-four seconds they hold out, keeping everything specifically vague and emotional, before they spring on you that they’ve co-opted this particular style of earnest confessional for an anti-marriage-equality message.

I honestly don’t think it’s a parody, either, that they’re trying to be funny. I think they’re seriously trying to make connections. “See, LQBT folk? You know how hard it is to be yourself in society, worrying that you’ll be judged and disowned and assaulted and murdered and oppressed because of who you are and who you love? It’s just like that for Catholics who are afraid that people won’t like us once they know how intolerant we are!” “Bigoted” is a big word. And the only way to break down barriers… sniff… is to get to know us. Us Catholics who don’t think you deserve basic rights, because you aren’t like us. And who don’t want to let you in on our precious rite because — sniff — you’re gross and into butt stuff. And to all you other Catholics who are afraid of being persecuted for your bigoted beliefs? You’re not alone.

Whew. Bet that felt good to get off your chests, right? You… are not… alone.

Fuck my life.

One at a time, people walk in and sit against a plain white background, facing the camera. WOMAN 1. MAN 4. WOMAN 2. Quiet piano music is sentimental, a little bit tentative, a little bit hopeful. Our people are as well.

WOMAN 1. I am a little bit nervous about people, um, kind of hearing that I’m this way and then thinking, “Oh, well,” you know, “she’s not welcome here.”

MAN 1 [chuckling]. I would say I’m different. We’re all different.

MAN 2. Most people probably think I’m already weird anyway, I mean, so I don’t think society’s impression of me is going to change drastically based on one or two discoveries that come to light after this video.

MAN 3. Pretty scary, you know? You — you wonder, how many people can I really, truly, honestly be open with?

W2 [dabbing at tears]. I’ve tried to change this before, but… it’s too important to me.

The music’s starting to pick up, just a little.

W1. I actually think marriage is between a man and a woman.

M2. I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman.

M4. I already have an idea of what marriage should be. That will never change.

M2. At the end of the day, I think we don’t need to truly be ashamed of how we really feel about things, so… so be you.

M4. No one should be looked down upon. No one should be suppressed, or no one’s views should be suppressed.

M3. I know a lot of people who are gay. I have friends who are gay, I don’t fear them, you know? They’re wonderful people. I love them. What I do feel insecure about is speaking from the heart. And being really open and honest about what I believe.

M2. I mean, I love my friends. Several of them happen to be gay. How would it not be the case that — that the ever-loving Creator, who gave us everything we have, doesn’t love us?

The music’s picking up a little bit more, now with a touch of strings coming in.

M1. Where’s that balance, you know? Where can you say, “No, I’m not going to be a part of this?” but still respect someone?

M3. “Bigoted” is a huge word that gets thrown around. It’s just not true.

M4. You cannot have a society of hatred, or a society of bigotry.

M2. I happen to know what marriage is, and I don’t see how it could change.

W1. The best way to kind of break down all these barriers — [choked up] sorry — is to just get to know people one on one.

W2. [Tearfully] You’re not alone. [Over solemn, tearful shots of the other speakers] You’re not alone. You’re not… alone.

The music swells dramatically as we, too, are moved to tears along with the speakers, and then the final art card:

Speak truth with love. Education Fund

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9 comments for “Catholic bigots are not alone! in new coming-out video

  1. Wordwizard
    June 30, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    “You poor, poor bigots. I weep for the lack of acceptance your open bigotry will cause you! Maybe it’s just your lack of imagination? You KNOW what marriage is, and just can’t IMAGINE how it could ever change? Maybe your imagination will improve over time. Wives used to be their husband’s chattel. Who would have thought marriage could ever change? Women could keep their own names, their own bank accounts? Marriage HAS changed since the 50’s, and has changed to include lesbian and gay marriages. There IS hope. Your imagination can change too.”

  2. PrettyAmiable
    July 1, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    I have zero idea how to respond respectfully to this.

    • PrettyAmiable
      July 1, 2015 at 12:34 pm

      The video, I mean. Not Caperton’s post.

  3. pheenobarbidoll
    July 1, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Be nice if all these pissed off Christians could focus some attention on the black churches being burned down.

  4. Schmorgluck
    July 1, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Heh, it proceeds of the same rhetorics used by French fundies protesting against the adoption of the law extending marriage to same-sex couples: basically pretending they are deprived of something, that something is taken from them, and that they are therefore oppressed. The folks at Charlie Hebdo had a field day lampooning those, with several classic covers that have been misunderstood by about every foreigner who discovered the paper after the January 2015 attacks.

    • Ludlow22
      July 1, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Yeah, there was a lot of that going around in the social justice blogosphere re: Charlie Hebdo. My thesis is that when you get rewarded (either finally or egotistically) by the page view/note/retweet, outrage is the most effective strategy, and therefore the whole system is incentivized to produce proxysyms of blind rage at regular intervals regardless of the underlying facts.

      Not that Hebdo never published some questionable things, but if the six tumblrs before you already talked about those, your only choice to remain relevant is to find something new.

      It may or may not be obvious but I’m rapidly despairing of the online pro-social-justice world. Feministe being the major exception.

      • Ludlow22
        July 1, 2015 at 10:53 pm

        Financially* stupid autocorrect

  5. July 1, 2015 at 8:56 pm

    I mean it already feels like an SNL sketch, but I guess something ALMOST more ridiculous is worth the time it takes to mock them. Check out this parody:

    And remember, I did say ALMOST more ridiculous.

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