Straight to the heart
Mindy Kaling, are you eavesdropping on my life? Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I’ll tell you why: Men scared the sh*t out of me. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to [...]
...read moreLet Auntie Jill solve all of your dating problems.
Someone should pay me to be an advice columnist. I will definitely stay under the word limit. Here, let me help you all out: My fiance wants to marry a virgin. DUMP HIM. Ohmygod dump him. Especially dump him since you’re not a virgin and he thinks women who aren’t virgins are filthy whores. Your [...]
...read moreNew York leads in never-married women — but what about the men?
New York state has the highest percentage of never-married women in the country, and in New York City it’s even higher. 34.8 percent of New York state women over the age of 15 have never married; in the city, it’s 41.7 percent. That’s not particularly surprising — culturally, it’s odd to get married before you’re [...]
...read moreWhat romantic comedies can teach us about ourselves
God, I hate romantic comedies with a fiery passion. It’s a cliche, I know–look, the bitter, humorless feminist hates love and laughter–but they make my teeth itch. I don’t fault anyone else for enjoying them, if that’s their thing, but I can’t get over the repeated implication in every single movie that I’m supposed to [...]
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Dating Advice for the Modern Lady and Gentleman
This dating guide from 1938 is pretty amazing – ladies, you should wear a bra, don’t talk too much, don’t put on make-up in front of men, focus entirely on what he wants to discuss and don’t get so drunk on the date that you pass out. As someone who has made every single one [...]
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Dealbreaker: He Has An Asian Fetish
Love this piece by Lena Chen: Though I could excuse his penchant for cultural appropriation, I couldn’t overlook his peculiar dating history. All of his exes, I soon learned, were Asian. A handful of data points aren’t enough to constitute a trend, but even my 18-year-old self realized that there was a very low statistical [...]
...read moreDealbreakers
I am unhealthily obsessed with GOOD’s Dealbreakers features — it’s nice to see articles that discuss boundary-drawing without finger-wagging “you’re so shallow” commentary. Because you know, I also won’t date anyone who is anti-choice, or who insists that their dog watch us have sex, or who has very strict dietary preferences. Some people would date [...]
...read moreThe deficient single woman
Chally is a former Feministe staffer. She writes at Zero at the Bone. I’m really quite troubled by the centring of romantic/sexual relationships at the expense of all other ways of organising lives. Right now, I’m going to explore this in terms of single women being seen as deficient. I’ve seen so many divorced and [...]
...read moreLove, Sex and Interracial Dating
Over at Racialicious, Latoya is hosting some amazing roundtable discussions about race and dating. You can find them all here. Our own Holly is featured in the Asian roundtables (parts one, two and three), and Lauren and I will both be contributing to the white roundtable, which I believe will go up at some point [...]
...read moreOnline Dating: Permission to Be a Judgemental Bitch AND an Opportunity to Date Outside Your Comfort Zone
This post was inspired by Jill’s previous post, Online Dating: The Most Depressing, Or Only as Depressing as Regular Dating?, which you should read. Some of what I’m going to say may have been covered in the comments on Jill’s post, but I didn’t read them, so I’m just going to go ahead and write [...]
...read moreI like boys. But also girls. But also boys.
I’ve been married to my husband for almost two years now. Mr. Shoshie is awesome and supportive and I love him very, very much. But sometimes I wish that we hadn’t gotten married so soon. Well, actually, I wish that we hadn’t started dating so soon. Let me back up. I’ve liked girls pretty much [...]
...read moreThinking More Clearly About BDSM versus Abuse
Years ago, when I first started thinking about BDSM and abuse, I — like a lot of feminist BDSMers — was defensive. We get scared of the accusation that “BDSM is always abuse” … and we’re accustomed to accusations from certain feminists such as “those of you who pretend to like BDSM just have Patriarchy [...]
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