“I Can Handle It”: On Relationship Violence, Independence, and Capability
[This piece may contain triggers on relationship violence.] I. In early 2001, a group of friends who had introduced me to my then-boyfriend sat me down at a kitchen table. “We’re worried about you,” one said. “Has he hit you?” The answer, at the time, was no. Ten months later, I stumble into the emergency [...]
...read moreThinking More Clearly About BDSM versus Abuse
Years ago, when I first started thinking about BDSM and abuse, I — like a lot of feminist BDSMers — was defensive. We get scared of the accusation that “BDSM is always abuse” … and we’re accustomed to accusations from certain feminists such as “those of you who pretend to like BDSM just have Patriarchy [...]
...read moreI’ll take any good news you got.
In the Sometimes Good News Comes in Tiny Increments But It’s Still Good News Department (aka: The Department of SGNCITIBISGN): 1) Judge blocks Kan. law stripping Planned Parenthood of fed. funding, says law unlikely to last An incredulous federal judge on Monday rejected the state’s claim that a new Kansas statute that denied Planned Parenthood [...]
...read moreThere’s an app for that. (Yeah, I went there.)
The fight against violence against women has reached the Office of the Vice President–which is good, because there are a lot of other offices that would have let it sit in the foyer without even offering it a cup of coffee until it gave up and went home. Even better is the surprisingly modern approach [...]
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So this actually makes sense.
Chris Brown, notable for his R&B career and for beating the hell out of his girlfriend and suffering almost no professional consequences for being a violent misogynist criminal, will appear in the movie version of Steve Harvey’s misogynist best-seller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.
...read moreDomestic Violence, “Choosing Sides” and Community Response
Please note: this entry has been written with the consent of the woman involved. I should probably give a trigger warning for discussion of domestic violence. I have two friends, who were until recently in a relationship together. One is a man I’ve known since we were in our early teens, with whom I’ve been [...]
...read moreMen’s rights advocates promote terrorism
The right-wing blogosphere is rallying around Thomas Ball, a man who committed suicide outside of a courthouse apparently in protest of being forced to pay $3,000 in child support. Amanda notes that abusers routinely use threats of suicide to control their victims, and that given Ball’s suggestion that men team up to hurl Molotov cocktails [...]
...read morelinks for 5-11-2011
First time! via INCITE! The Revolution Starts At Home: Confronting Intimate Violence Within Activist Communities , is a new and necessary anthology that needs to be read by everyone in activist communities. So often we see ourselves as above perpetuating the same oppressive and violent actions within our own communities and intimate relationships. This book [...]
...read moreChris Brown, Still Keepin’ It Classy
Chris Brown made his way to GMA this morning and was riding on the high of being relevant again, what with headlines about his penis and the restraining order against Rihanna being lifted. He’s changed his ways, he keeps assuring us, and those anger management classes were a huge help. But then GMA asked him [...]
...read moreA disability services funding wishlist
Here in the state of New South Wales, Australia, we have an election coming up on 26 March, so help us all. The head of the state government, Premier Kristina Keneally of the Australian Labor Party, has pledged $30 million in disability services funding. She’s not going to be re-elected – I’ve never known an [...]
...read moreMust-read piece of the day
The Disposable Woman, by Anna Holmes.
...read moreOn Charlie Sheen
It probably isn’t super surprising to hear that I can’t stand Charlie Sheen. The fact that Two and a Half Men exists makes me believe that none of us deserve nice things. I think he’s a jackass and an abusive, egomaniacal coward. So while I can’t feel all that sad for him about his very [...]
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