Category Archives: Parenthood

Punishing kids for cross-gender play is abusive, not “tough”

It’s my dream: I got to write about a Dear Prudence column in the Guardian. This week it’s about a mom who wrote in to Prudence concerned that her husband freaks out when their son wears mom’s ballet flats, and expands into the way we gender our kids from birth: Continue reading

Posted in Gender, Life, Parenthood, Sex | Tagged , | 42 Comments

Today in bad advice

This week in Slate’s Dear Prudence: A woman who works full-time while her husband does not, yet is still charged with doing half of the domestic work: Continue reading

Posted in Domesticity, Life, Marriage, Parenthood | Tagged , | 331 Comments

What do you do when your childhood bully friends you on Facebook?

Feministe friend Eve Sturges’s latest in Rookie is a wonderful look at the trauma childhood bullies inflict, the strength that comes from being an adult who finally stands up for that kid who suffered, and the realization that most kids evolve and grow and change — even the ones who act terribly toward us. Read it, read it, read it. Continue reading

Posted in Life, Parenthood, relationships | Tagged , | 57 Comments

You can’t have it all…but who cares?

“Wow, it really is amazing,” a celebrated Russian playwright once slurred to me in the middle of an after party following a movie premiere. “You, like, go out and stuff. Wearing dresses. And have wine. And you write things. And … Continue reading

Posted in Class, Parenthood, relationships | 26 Comments

The Freedom to Abuse Kids

This week at the Guardian I’m writing about the gay conversion therapy ban passed in New Jersey, and how religious freedom is too often used as an argument for abusing kids — at the expense of children’s own equal protection under the law.
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Posted in Crime, Discrimination, Education, Health, Law, Medicine, Parenthood, Politics, Race & Ethnicity | Tagged , | 148 Comments

The Consequences of “Opting Out”

It’s nice to say that working or not working is simply a matter of personal choice, but in reality it’s a highly gendered one — and one that puts women at a disadvantage when it comes to stability, equality and independence. Continue reading

Posted in Domesticity, Marriage, Parenthood, relationships, Work | Tagged , , , | 141 Comments

The online face of grief

Last week, NPR’s Scott Simon’s mother passed away, and Scott tweeted from her hospital bed. It sounds awful, but it was weirdly touching. I’m writing in Salon about public grieving and how we use social media during tragedy. A bit:
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Posted in Life, Parenthood, relationships | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Kate Middleton and Moms Who Aren’t Princesses

With much of England and half the U.S. on Kate Middleton Baby-Watch this week, I’m writing about motherhood in the Guardian. It’s great (and normal) that we’re all excited about a new (and royal!) baby. Babies are really cute, and all of them should enter the world into the arms of folks who are excited to welcome them. But our celebrity pregnancy obsession, coupled with our unrealistic and condescending view of motherhood (it’s THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WOOOOORLD!) make real political change difficult, and keep parents (mostly mothers) unsupported. A bit:
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Posted in Celebrity, Class, Feminism, Gender, Marriage, Parenthood, Politics, Popular Culture, Poverty, Pregnancy, Reproductive Rights | Tagged , | 23 Comments

How My Miscarriage Made Me More Pro-Choice

In August of 2008, I became pregnant with what I thought would be my second child. A few weeks later, I lay on a table in a darkened room in my OB-GYN’s office while a sympathetic ultrasound technician shook her head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t find a heartbeat.” A few hours after that, I was in an operating room having a D&C, having chosen, on the very good advice of my doctor, to get it over with sooner rather than later. A few months later I peed on a stick and saw two pink lines, and my miscarriage was largely forgotten.
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Posted in Life, Parenthood, Reproductive Rights | Tagged , | 47 Comments

Phyllis Richman addresses Harvard’s concerns about her home life

In 1961, Harvard University sent a letter to Mrs. Alvin Richman noting that while she seemed like an excellent candidate for their Department of City and Regional Planning, they did have some concerns about her personal circumstances. Fifty-two years later, award-winning writer and restaurant critic Phyllis Richman has finally taken the time to write Doebele’s requested essay. Continue reading

Posted in Education, Marriage, Parenthood, Work | 3 Comments

Props to My Pops: A White Man Gets it Right

My father is an odd fellow, one not reflected in most Father’s Day cards. He rarely watches sports, would never buy a sports car, hates golf due to working as a caddy in his teens, and doesn’t wear ties. While he loves his tools and is constantly reconstructing our family home, it’s not because of any need to display masculinity. He does it because he worships my mother and wants her to have anything he can create. It’s a bit of selflessness that is rarely reflected in mainstream media, and appreciated or expected of men – especially towards their partners and the world around them. Continue reading

Posted in Life, Parenthood, Race & Ethnicity, relationships | Tagged | 7 Comments

Our feminist foremothers didn’t fight for your right to enjoy your life.

Apparently they were fighting for… the obligation for you to feel guilty about having a life you like? The need to be told you’re selfish, shallow and immature for concluding that children are expensive, you don’t feel any strong pull … Continue reading

Posted in Domesticity, Feminism, Life, Marriage, Parenthood, relationships | Tagged , | 106 Comments