In Praise of Monogamy
There are lots of different ways of approaching non-monogamous relationships, such as: + Polyamory: Usually emphasizes developing full-on romantic relationships with more than one partner. Lately I’ve been pondering and working on a number of tricky questions about implementing polyamory. (I’ve been researching polyamory since my teens, but only in recent years did I decide [...]
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The Good Men Project does sex
The Good Men Project is having a sex week, and I’ve got an article up about how I’m not your sex-crazy nympho dreamgirl. Snip from my article: There’s this cultural image of what it means to be female, and good in bed. The image includes being young and thin and cisgendered of course, and that [...]
...read morelinks for 5-11-2011
First time! via INCITE! The Revolution Starts At Home: Confronting Intimate Violence Within Activist Communities , is a new and necessary anthology that needs to be read by everyone in activist communities. So often we see ourselves as above perpetuating the same oppressive and violent actions within our own communities and intimate relationships. This book [...]
...read moreSex communication case studies
In the wake of my last sex & relationships post, which was basically a meditation on one relationship with bad sexual communication, I want to offer some positive examples of sexual communication from my life. * * * 1) Low pressure and leather belts. Years ago, when I was pretty inexperienced in the community, I [...]
...read moreI totally interviewed the world’s most famous pickup artist
I recently had the opportunity to interview Neil Strauss, author of 2005 bestseller The Game and arguably the most famous pickup artist in the world. It was an interesting discussion on a number of levels. (See this discussion previously on Feministe from when another well-known pickup artist shot a woman in the face. 322 comments!) [...]
...read moreThe Right to Fuck Up
I almost called this post “Fucking Up: A Right or a Privilege?” but I decided that A. I am tired of debates over privilege and B. I believe we SHOULD have a right to fuck up. I’m not talking just about fucking up in feminism/social justice movements, mind you. I’m talking about life fuck-ups. I’m [...]
...read moreHow my life wasn’t always Happy Fun Boundaries Are Perfect Land
A reader recently sent me an email in which they said: i know you have always had clear boundaries with yourself (at least how you have described yourself) Well. I guess I’ve had a pretty good sense of my boundaries, historically, but there have been times when I have not set them well. This is [...]
...read moreThis is how you write about a break-up.
After reading so much self-indulgent shit on the internet — especially about stupid details of peoples’ personal lives that are apparently shared with no greater purpose or message other than “This happened to me once” (to which I say, GET A LIVEJOURNAL WHY ARE YOU BEING PAID TO WRITE THIS IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY OR [...]
...read more“I Know You’re Smarter Than Me”: Clarisse Thorn’s Feminist Ideology
This is a guest post by Clarisse Thorn. Clarisse normally blogs at Pro-Sex Outreach, Open-Minded Feminism, where this piece is cross-posted. I haven’t been on a lot of capital-D Dates. My relationships tend to develop through friendships and mutual interests, mostly because I am a huge nerd. My first on-purpose Date took place when I [...]
...read moreA(n)nals of Online Dating
Anyone who has internet-dated knows the kinds of… characters… that you can come across. But the below message which was sent to a friend of mine may take the cake for Best (worst) Online Dating Message Ever: hey, I saw your profile ..and um…well, i thought i’ll write. From your profile it seems like like [...]
...read moreAnother Defense of Hooking Up — This Time, With Science!
Via Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon’s Broadsheet, a recent study from the University of Iowa suggests that “hooking up” can actually lead to meaningful relationships sometimes! Honestly I find nothing more tiresome than oldsters (not to over-stereotype, but it does seem to be a certain brand of baby boomer — ahem, Laura Sessions Stepp), who warn [...]
...read moreMy Sluthood, Myself.
Last summer, I suffered the breakup of a relationship that I had thought would be permanent. Now, I’ve been through my share of break-ups, even of quite serious relationships, but nothing ever broke me like this one. Since then, I’ve had sexual interactions of the orgasmic kind with 9 different people, none of which I [...]
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