BDSM’s Rape Problem And How To Fix It: Summary Of “There’s A War On” Series
In a podcast after Not What We Do , I declared that I’m not going to do BDSM community PR. We have problems. We have at least as much of a rape culture within as the mainstream, and I’m not going to shut up about it. This post summarizes what I said at the Yes Means Yes Blog, in a seven part series that ran 21,000 words. The original, full posts are at these links:
...read more“Confessions of a PUA Chaser” is OUT now! Also: Thank you, Feministe.
Love.
S&M.
Ethics.
Seduction.
Feminism.
Polyamory.
Pickup artists.
BDSM versus Sex, part 2: How Does It Feel?
Every once in a while, someone will ask me a question about something BDSM-related that I feel “done with”; I feel like I did all my thinking about those topics, years ago. But it’s still useful to get those questions today, because it forces me to try and understand where my head was at, three [...]
...read moreThinking More Clearly About BDSM versus Abuse
Years ago, when I first started thinking about BDSM and abuse, I — like a lot of feminist BDSMers — was defensive. We get scared of the accusation that “BDSM is always abuse” … and we’re accustomed to accusations from certain feminists such as “those of you who pretend to like BDSM just have Patriarchy [...]
...read more“Violent sex” writer compromises safety of rape survivor
Recently, the reporter Mac McClelland wrote a piece called “How Violent Sex Helped Ease My PTSD“. Feministe had a discussion thread about the article about ten days ago. My own reactions to the article have been too complicated to outline just now, though I would like to make some things absolutely clear. * Firstly, Mac [...]
...read moreI Can Never Tell
This guest post is by Thomas MacAulay Millar, feminist, kinkster, litigator and essayist. He blogs regularly at The Yes Means Yes Blog and is a frequent contributor to Feministe. I don’t buy porn from any of the big companies that make BDSM porn. It’s not that I have a problem with consenting adults making depictions [...]
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The Alt-Sex Anti-Abuse Dream Team
This is a post by pro-BDSM activist Clarisse Thorn, who blogs at Pro-Sex Outreach, Open-Minded Feminism. BDSMers face a lot of stigma around our sexuality, and this can be a major problem when BDSMers are trying to deal with abusive situations. I’ve written before about generally negative conceptions of BDSM — they can briefly be [...]
...read moreNot What We Do
This is a guest post by Thomas MacAulay Millar. Thomas regularly blogs at Yes Means Yes. In fantasyland, the BDSM community is clearly defined, composed exclusively of ethical people who basically agree on our values, who have polite if lively discourses about safety and risk, and we consistently recognize and exclude people and behaviors that [...]
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